Page 42 of Your Biggest Downfall (Ravens Hockey #3)

nova

We were back on the road, heading to the city after I took a few hours to recharge. It was late, but I wanted to be at my mom’s house early tomorrow. I suspected Austin hadn’t slept, but his eyes stayed focused on the road.

“You’re not tired?” I asked.

He shrugged. “I’ve been having trouble sleeping,” he admitted. “At the facility, it was always so noisy at night, and now it’s hard for me to sleep in silence.”

I nodded, knowing all too well that sometimes the loudest noises came from within our own minds.

“Are you going straight to your mom’s?” Austin asked, but as I was about to answer, I looked down, realizing that Luna was calling.

I picked up. “Are you okay?” I asked immediately.

“I’m checking for proof of life. I texted you.”

I checked my phone, putting the call on speaker, and swiped to my messages, but saw nothing. “No, you didn’t text.”

“Oh shit, it must be the boat. There’s shitty service here.” She laughed, giggles echoing in the background. “Anyway, wanted to let you know I won’t be home tonight. Will you be okay?”

Luna knew how much I hated sleeping alone. The darkness had a way of amplifying the silence, making every creak and shadow seem louder.

I glanced over at Austin, who caught my eye and gave a small, understanding nod. He didn’t say anything, but it was clear he knew exactly what I was feeling. That silent acknowledgment made it a little easier to respond to Luna.

“Yeah, I’ll be okay,” I said, trying to sound more confident than I felt.

We exchanged quick goodbyes and hung up.

Austin’s voice broke the lingering silence. “You have the same fear of the dark?”

I turned my gaze to the road ahead, the headlights cutting through the night. “Yeah,” I admitted.

“Want me to stay over for a bit?”

“No, not really,” I said.

I slept in the living room. I didn’t want to be in my cramped apartment with my clothes everywhere, sleeping with Austin. That wasn’t a thing we did anyway. Sleeping together felt somehow much more intimate than... having sex.

“You can come to my place if you want?”

I picked at my fingernails, unsure of what to say.

“But you don’t have to make that choice now. We still have an hour until we get back home. You can decide when we get closer.”

I nodded, appreciating him allowing me the space and time to make the decision.

A heavy silence descended before he broke it. “How are you feeling?” he asked, his voice tinged with something serious.

“About what?” I furrowed my brows.

“Us... together,” he said in clarification, his eyes locked on the road ahead.

His jaw tensed as his Adam’s apple bobbed with a swallow.

“Like dating?” I asked, trying to make sense of his question.

He laughed, loud and unexpectedly, like I’d told the funniest joke. “No, Supernova. We’re way beyond that. You’re mine. I’m yours. It’s simple. Call it whatever you want, but I’ll hurt anyone who tries to hit on you.”

“Oh, really, caveman?” I teased him, which earned me another laugh.

He’d confessed his love for me earlier, but the idea of dating—was that what we were doing?

Austin Hart loved me. I was warming up to the idea, and maybe, just maybe, I was falling for him too, but labeling it felt daunting.

“In your recovery, aren’t you supposed to, like, not date for a while?” I asked, shifting the focus.

He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Isn’t it supposed to stress you out?”

Austin chuckled. “You don’t stress me out.”

I leaned back in the seat, mulling it over. “But dating is tough, especially with everything we’ve got going on. You’ve got your family stuff, hockey, and sobriety. I’ve got my mom to deal with, and Iris?—”

“It won’t stress me out,” he said insistently, his voice firm.

He was gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white, his gaze fixed forward and his jaw clenched.

My thoughts spiraled, torn between the rush of emotions and the voice in the back of my mind telling me this was all too much, too fast. Was I letting myself get swept up in something that could hurt us both?

Austin interrupted my thoughts, his voice breaking through my internal chaos. “It’s summer, it’s warm, and we’re good together. Let’s just fall, Nova. Let me show you what it’s like to be in love with you.”

His words were like a lifeline, pulling me back to the present.

I wanted to believe him, to let go and embrace this, but the speed of it all made my head spin.

How could something this consuming happen so quickly?

It felt like we were diving headfirst into something neither of us was fully prepared for, but at the same time, it felt too good to stop.

Austin must have sensed my hesitation because he reached over and gently squeezed my hand, his grip warm and reassuring. “Let me show you that love can feel like an escape too. We can be each other’s safe havens. We’re good together, Supernova.”

I looked at him, his eyes full of sincerity, and I realized he was right. Love didn’t have to follow a script or a timeline. It could be messy and overwhelming and fast, but it could also be real, and that was what mattered. I was scared, yes, but I was also ready to see where this could take us.

I sighed. “Okay.”

“Back to my original question.” He moved his hand to my thigh, where he rested it. “Was everything okay?”

“Sexually?”

He nodded.

“Yeah,” I responded without thinking. That was something I was one-hundred-percent certain of. “It was...” It was everything. It was so much of what I needed and expected to happen the first time I had sex—the love, the caring, the softness. “Perfect. It was perfect.”

His grip on the steering wheel relaxed, and a small smile spread across his face. “Good.”

He glanced at me briefly before turning his attention back to the road. “You deserved that the first time.” A long pause followed before he added, “I’m sorry... again.”

I took a deep breath and then gently squeezed his fingers. “It’s in the past. We can only move forward.”

“You’re right, Supernova. There’s only moving forward for us.”

I closed my eyes as the city lights appeared in the distance. I looked down at our interlocked hands resting on my thigh, feeling like there was finally light in a world that had felt dark for so long.

“Alright,” I sighed. “I’ll stay with you tonight.”