Page 60 of Your Biggest Downfall (Ravens Hockey #3)
nova
“Honey, you have a visitor,” Aunt Mae called from the front of the house.
I was stuck in my mom’s old bedroom. Since she spent most of her time in the family room, which we’d already tackled earlier this week, this room was filled with memories, knickknacks, and Mami’s clothes.
Aunt Mae had told me we didn’t need to do this right away, especially since she’d be living in the house with me for a while.
I was slumped on the floor, my back pressed against Mami’s old wooden bed, staring at a photo of us from when I was a baby.
We were at the beach, and Mami was laughing as I built a sandcastle.
We looked so much alike—both with wild curly hair and wide, joyful smiles.
That photo felt like a lifetime ago, back when things were simpler, before life became so cruel and unrecognizable.
I didn’t want to see whoever was in the house. I didn’t want to do anything except crawl into a hole and wait for my turn to see Mami again.
A soft knocking at the door pulled me from my thoughts.
I glanced up and saw my boss, Iris. I vaguely remembered texting her—or was it Luna?
—earlier in the week to let her know I wouldn’t be coming to work.
There were so many reasons I couldn’t face the world: I couldn’t get out of bed, and I didn’t know how to tell anyone I had asked Austin for a divorce.
“Hey,” Iris said gently as she stepped into the room.
I was sure I looked a mess—honestly, I couldn’t remember the last time I showered.
“Hi. Sorry about work,” I mumbled, shrugging as I stood up and put the photo back in its place. “Can we go to the living room?” I didn’t want her in Mami’s room. It felt too personal, too intrusive.
“Of course.” She nodded and backed out of the room, and I reluctantly followed her.
I gestured to two chairs in the front room, and she sat down while I took the seat across from her.
“I’m sorry to hear about your mother,” Iris said.
“Thank you.” I sighed, my eyes drifting toward the window. It was a beautiful day, the air crisp with fall, the trees outside painted in vibrant colors. I wondered what it felt like to bloom and then die, the way the leaves did.
“I’m not sure if this is the right time to bring it up, but there’s a rumor going around the locker room that I’ve heard.”
I closed my eyes, trying to focus on her words. “Oh, yeah?”
A week ago, I might have cared. I might have leaned in, excited to hear some locker room gossip. I couldn’t bring myself to feel anything. All I wanted was to crawl back into bed and shut out the world.
“You moved out of your apartment, which is why I came here,” she added.
Of course. I should’ve realized she was here instead of at Austin’s apartment. It should have clicked earlier, but my brain was too slow, and putting those pieces together was about as difficult as motivating myself to shower.
“Yeah, I guess I did.” I put my hands in my lap, picking at my nail beds.
“You asked him for a divorce?”
My heart sank. I shouldn’t be surprised Austin was talking about it at work.
I wasn’t planning on telling him I wanted a divorce, but walking in on him drunk on the day my mother died was something out of a horror movie.
It was like everything finally clicked. Everything Luna warned me about collided with me at once and finally made sense.
Austin never went to rehab to get better. He went to appease me.
In the end, Austin was sober for a time being, but I think we’d become addicted to each other. I leaned on him because my life was falling apart at the seams, and he temporarily replaced alcohol with me.
“I did.” I hadn’t said the words aloud yet. I hadn’t even told Aunt Mae, but confirming it felt freeing.
Iris nodded, then opened up her purse and dug out papers. “I had Peter draw up a contract for you to start in two and a half weeks.”
I shook my head. I couldn’t go. I couldn’t leave Aunt Mae and travel halfway across the world. “I can barely get to the shower, Iris. I can’t fathom going to London right now.”
She shrugged. “I’m firing you, Nova.”
I wasn’t even shocked, because when it rained it fucking poured. “Y—You’re firing me?”
Mami had some savings left, enough to keep me afloat for a few months, but I was going to need a new job.
“Yes, but only because you deserve so much more than what I can give you.” She set the paper on the table next to me, and there was a knock at the door. Iris stood, and I followed suit. “Think about it, really think about it.”
Tears clouded my vision, and I closed the distance between us, giving her a hug. “Thank you,” I whispered. “I’m sorry for hating you.”
She laughed and then wrapped her arms around me. “This will be so good for you, Nova. You will do amazing things.”
She squeezed my arms and pulled away, and I walked her to the front door. Luna was on the other side, and when she saw Iris, she politely said hello before pushing past her and coming inside.
“What did she want?” Luna asked before I turned to her and dropped to my knees.
Luna dropped down, matching my stance. “What’s wrong?” she asked frantically.
“She fired me.”
“What a fucking bit?—”
“And then offered me a full-time job.”
Luna seemed to ponder this. “Oh?”
“In London.”
Luna’s face softened, and she wrapped me up in her arms. “Oh, baby. That’s amazing. What’s the job for?”
“It’s my dream job, managing the social media for a rugby club out there.”
She held onto me tightly as we looked around the house, both of us taking in the memories it held. Footsteps echoed down the hallway, and Aunt Mae appeared, joining us on the floor.
I glanced over at her, and she had that familiar, knowing smile. “I’m so proud of you,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “You’re going to take that job and make your Mami proud.”
Tears streamed down my cheeks as I shook my head. “I—I can’t leave you.”
Aunt Mae wrapped her arms around me, her embrace warm and reassuring. “You absolutely can, and you will,” she said softly, her voice steady.
I found myself nestled between the two people I loved most in the world—Aunt Mae and Luna.
After a few moments, they both pulled back. Aunt Mae gave me a gentle smile. “I’ll be here when you visit. I’m not going anywhere. In fact, I’m applying for a job as a caregiver at a group home for disabled adults down the road.”
“Congrats, Mae,” Luna said, patting her on the shoulder before turning to me with a grin. “Looks like we’re going to London, baby.”
I blinked in surprise. “How are you going to come with me? Don’t you need a visa?”
Luna’s eyes twinkled. “My company has an office out there. Easy transfer.”
I stared at her, my mouth dropping open in disbelief.
She smiled and said, “Think about it. It could be a fresh start.”
And deep down, I knew it could be.
The thought of a fresh start was enticing, and I felt a glimmer of possibility—a life away from all of this.
London meant a chance to step away from the weight of everything.
Away from Austin. Away from the sadness that had seeped into every corner of my life here.
It could be a clean slate, a place where I wouldn’t be haunted by the memories of what I’d lost.
I turned to Aunt Mae and Luna, my heart still heavy, but a small spark of clarity surfacing. “Let me think about it,” I said quietly. “After the funeral.”
They both nodded, understanding in their eyes. Aunt Mae got to her feet first, heading toward the kitchen, while Luna lingered beside me.
She pulled me gently to the window, her hand warm on my arm as she pointed outside. “He’s out there,” she said.
I nodded. Austin had been sitting out there often lately, waiting. For what, I wasn’t sure—maybe for a chance to fix things, maybe to be close. But he never came inside. He sat in his car, staring into the void.
“When you leave, let him know the date for the funeral?” I asked.
She gave me one last hug, squeezing tightly, before heading toward the door.
I watched as she walked across the yard, her steps purposeful.
She knocked on Austin’s car window, and I saw him jump in surprise.
His face fell when he realized it wasn’t me.
Luna leaned down, speaking to him—presumably about the funeral—and he nodded furiously, his hands gripping the steering wheel like it was the only thing holding him together.
Then, as if he felt my gaze, he looked up at the window and locked eyes with me. For a moment, neither of us moved, held in place by all the words we hadn’t said. I held his gaze for a moment before I turned away and shut the blinds.
A part of me wondered if I was being too harsh.
He had a disease, and he couldn’t help that his addiction was a part of him, but he was so unwilling to change for himself.
He hid away all his problems behind some veil of perfection.
I questioned everything. Was he actually at Jeremy’s house drinking that night? How long had this been happening?
All I knew for certain was one thing: my mother died, and he should’ve been there with me for the hours I wept in that sterile hospital room.