Page 34 of Your Biggest Downfall (Ravens Hockey #3)

nova

I knew who “me” was without seeing him past the curtain.

“Doctor?” my mother croaked.

I turned toward her and shook my head. “No.” I coughed as his black sneakers came into view. “It’s my friend, Mami.”

“Friend?” she asked, her voice still hoarse from the intubation scope.

“Yeah, friend.” Austin pulled the curtain back slowly, and his blonde hair was matted to his forehead. His blue eyes scanned me up and down. “Hi, Ms. Thatcher.”

Austin walked right over to her and sat in the empty chair Aunt Mae was just in.

“I know you . . .”

No. Please, Mami. Don’t actually know who he is.

“Oh, yeah?” Austin grinned.

I was too shocked to process any of this. Why was Austin here?

“You’re the famous hockey player, just got out of rehab.”

“Mami.” I tsk ed. “That’s rude.”

She huffed. “Look at me. I’m an old lady in the hospital with cancer.” She turned to glare at Austin. “What’re your intentions with my daughter?”

“Mami,” I exclaimed. “Stop it.”

Austin reached out and took my mom’s hands, locking them into his. “I like your daughter a lot,” he confessed, his voice so low that I could barely hear it from the other side of the bed.

But Mami must have caught every word because a wide smile spread across her face. “Does she like you back?” she asked.

Austin glanced up at me, smirking before turning back to Mami. “No,” he admitted, shaking his head. “But I’m working on it.”

Mami gestured around the hospital room. “Coming all the way here is a good start, son.”

I let out a skeptical breath. “Is it?”

Mami shot me a look of indignation. “Yes, it is. He ran all the way here. Look at his curls, all sweaty on top,” she said, tugging at his hair for emphasis.

Austin and I laughed, but I stopped abruptly, swallowing hard when I noticed the way he was looking at me. The playful smirk was gone, replaced by a look so intense it made my breath catch. His gaze was full of a deep, undeniable longing.

He looked at me like I was the only thing that mattered. His unspoken emotions pulled me in, making it impossible to look away.

He returned his gaze to Mami’s, and I wanted his eyes back on me.

“Do you think she’ll let me take her out?” he murmured to her.

She coughed a few times, and I frantically stood up, checking her wires to make sure everything was okay.

“Yes,” she muttered. “She will if she knows what’s good for her.” Mami’s deep green eyes glanced my way. “I can feel it in his soul, my love. He’s a good person.”

I swallowed... hard. She had no idea I was the girl in the photo or that I lost my virginity to him in a bathroom while high on cocaine. She had no clue and never would, but there was so much more to being a good person.

“Are you asking?” Mami asked Austin.

“Of course I am.” He put his hand over his heart like somehow she hurt his feelings by suggesting he wasn’t serious.

“Say yes,” she croaked.

I shook my head and sighed. “I’m here with you now, and tomorrow I have to go to work?—”

“Thank goodness I’m here to save the day.” Aunt Mae’s voice boomed as she entered from the hallway.

Austin stood up and shook her hand.

“I’m Mae, Cecilia’s sister.”

“Hi Mae, nice to meet you,” Austin replied.

“Go out, Nova girl.” Mae pointed at Mami. “She’s going home tonight, and I’ll take care of everything. Thankfully, it was a small issue with the port not being fully open—nothing serious, right, Cecilia?”

“Exactly,” Mami said confidently.

Austin turned his attention to me. “So, what do you say? Will you go out with me, Nova?”

A heavy silence filled the room as my thoughts raced.

Logically, I should say no, stand my ground, but there was so much tension in the room.

My mom’s eyes were wide as she waited for me to answer.

More than anything, she wanted to see me happy and know I was taken care of when she was no longer here.

Maybe I could give that to her. I could go out with Austin, and he could provide me with financial and physical stability, but I wasn’t sure he could meet my emotional needs.

I wasn’t the kind of girl who partied hard on the weekends, and honestly, I wasn’t interested in a guy who did either.

Yes, I wanted an escape from the mess that was my life, but I also realized I needed to face reality.

A temporary escape was just that—temporary.

“Please,” he begged softly.

Mae clicked her tongue. “When a man says please, you say yes, mija.”

“I—”

“Say yes, Nova,” my mother urged.

I bounced between the three of them. There was so much pressure—too much for me to handle.

“I need to go.” I looked down at my phone, which was definitely not ringing, and then back up at everyone in the room.

“I’ll see you at home, Mami.” My words tumbled out quickly as I snatched my bag off the floor, kissed her goodbye, and bolted out the door without a second glance at Austin.

The sounds of movement behind me and footsteps in the hallway only made my pulse race faster.

I stepped into the elevator and frantically jabbed the button to close the door, my heart pounding as I heard him shout my name.

Panic coursed through me. I wasn’t ready for this.

I wasn’t ready to confront the shame of that night.

I wasn’t ready to face him after everything that had happened.

There was too much to unpack, too many emotions tangled up in this mess, and I couldn’t go there with him. Not now.

The elevator dinged, and I rushed toward the parking lot, my thoughts spiraling out of control.

I didn’t even know why I was leaving. Mami needed me.

If I hid in my car for a while, I could clear my head and figure out what to do next.

Mami’s pressure was suffocating—yes, Austin was a good guy, but was he ready to have these hard conversations?

He’d just gotten out of rehab, and I felt an overwhelming responsibility to protect him, to make sure he wasn’t stressed or anxious. And then there was Mami, sick and...

“Fuck,” I cried, my voice breaking as the tears came.

Nothing made sense anymore.

I was walking through the parking lot when I heard my name.

I wouldn’t turn around. I couldn’t.

“Nova.”

I swallowed, forcing my feet forward.

“Nova,” he shouted.

It was getting closer—he was getting closer.

A few more feet and I could see my car in the parking lot. Thankfully, a bridge connected the top of the parking lot to the sidewalk, so I didn’t have to ride up another elevator. I could cross the bridge, and I would be right there.

“Stop.” Two hands wrapped around my waist, flinging me forward.

“Please,” I cried. “Let me go.”

I kicked like a child having a tantrum, not caring that all the doctors, nurses, and patients would see me having a fit.

“Put me down,” I demanded.

“Not until you promise to listen to me.”

“I have nothing to say and certainly nothing to hear.”

“Nova,” he said sternly. “I have so much to apologize for.”

“No, you don’t,” I replied. “It’s fine.”

He chuckled. “I have a mom. I know what ‘it’s fine’ means.”

I closed my eyes and stopped kicking, letting his hands hold me up.

“If I put you down, will you promise not to bolt to your car,” he begged.

I weighed my options here, but as stubborn as I was, Austin was the same. “Okay. I promise.”

He carefully put me on the ground, and I spun around so we were facing each other. Cars sped underneath us, and people walked around us, and I couldn’t help but wonder if they, too, felt the same crackling energy radiating between Austin and me.

“I came here from my meeting. Iris told me your mom was sick. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“That was nice of you. Thank you.” I was earnest in my response.

“I sent you a letter,” he said softly.

I nodded. “I know.”

“You got it, then?”

“Yes,” I whispered.

He took a step toward me, and I took one step backward.

“Austin—”

“No,” he said. “I won’t let you walk away from the conversation we needed to have a month ago. You can’t change the subject or escape this one?—”

“Isn’t that ironic.” I chuffed. “That’s what your whole thing was about, wasn’t it? Wanting to escape? Now you’re telling me I can’t escape from this conversation?—”

“You can’t,” he said assuredly. “Because I learned in rehab that we can’t run from things that are hard. I need to have this conversation even if the entire situation ends in a period. If there’s nothing further than us going back to friends, I need it for my sobriety. I need to make amends.”

That hit me right where he intended because I saw his mental illness and addiction to alcohol the same as I viewed my mom’s cancer. I would do anything to help him get better, because regardless of what he did to me, his intentions were understandable.

“What do you need?” I threw my hands on my hips indignantly.

“Let me take you out.”

I shook my head. “I don’t want to go on a date.”

“Not a date. Just a place I like to go to in the summer.”

I looked behind me at the looming hospital. “I can’t leave my mom for long.”

“This might be pushing it, but it’s only noon. If I bring you back tomorrow morning straight to your mom’s house, would you trust me?”

Overnight? Absolutely not. “No, Austin. I can give you the day, but I can’t spend the night with you.”

“Fine, that’s fine. I’ll bring you back tonight,” he said, his eyes searching mine with a hint of desperation.

I hesitated. “Are you sober?” I asked. “I’m not going anywhere if you’re planning on taking me to a party or something. I’m trying to get better, and I’ve realized that partying isn’t for me. I want an escape, but not like that...”

I felt guilty for saying it—it’s not like he chose to be an addict. It was part of him, but I needed to set boundaries for myself. I couldn’t keep pleasing others at the expense of my own well-being, which included not being around him if he was using.

“No, I’m sober.” He assured me, pulling out his thirty-day chip from his wallet. “Thirty days.”

I glanced at the chip before he pocketed it.