Page 36 of Your Biggest Downfall (Ravens Hockey #3)

austin

I had the same shakes driving as I did when I was in my first couple days at rehab. My hands were clammy, and even though the air was blowing on me, I was sweating off the gel in my hair.

“We’re here,” I said, pulling into Aunt Emma’s driveway.

Her parents had passed away a few years ago and left her a cabin on the lake. She had an apartment in town, so we used this place for vacations and she’d let me borrow it.

“You must be exhausted,” Nova said from the passenger side.

Nova had spent the entire trip in silence, looking out the window. This was the first time she’d said anything to me.

“What?” My eyes shot to her as I pulled down the extended drive.

“Oh,” she said as she smiled. “I was thinking you came back, and it’s been nonstop for you, and then you drove two hours away. I didn’t realize we were going so far.”

I glanced back at the road and parked by the cabin. “I don’t mind. I’m glad you’re here and your mom’s okay.”

The only time Nova had said anything as we drove was when her Aunt Mae called to tell her they were heading home. Nova made sure they were okay and told them she was with me. Mae insisted everything was fine and told her they’d see her tomorrow.

Nova offered a tight-lipped smile when she glanced up at the cabin.

It wasn’t fancy, but Emma had redone the entire inside, so everything was new.

There was a hot tub out back, and it connected right down to the beach.

Since we were in a more wooded area, it was a secluded beach, only frequented by people who owned lakefront houses.

“What is this place?”

I explained to her whose house it was and how we’d been traveling down here during the summer with my mom before Ledger was around when I was in high school.

“It’s okay that we’re here?”

“For sure. Emma gave me the keys.” I held them up.

She hesitated, not opening the door, so we sat in silence for a moment.

“There’s no booze inside,” I assured her. “She only keeps groceries.” I gestured to the back seat. “I brought food and soda.”

Nova’s lips twisted into a smirk as she finally opened the car door. The afternoon was warm, with plenty of daylight left. I grabbed a few things from the trunk while Nova wandered toward the front of the house.

“Whoa,” she said, gazing up at the wood-framed home.

I came up behind her as she took it all in. “I wanted to show you that I can still help you escape, Supernova. After everything with your mom in the hospital, I thought you could use a break.”

She kept facing forward, her arms wrapped around herself.

When she finally turned to me, a tear slipped down her cheek.

I dropped the bags and closed the distance between us, no longer hesitating.

The warmth of her body, the scent of her perfume—it all felt so right, so necessary.

I realized then that she was all I needed in this life.

I gently tilted her chin up so our eyes could meet. Her tears had stopped, but the vulnerability in her gaze made my heart ache. I brushed a thumb across her cheek, wiping away the last tear.

“Come inside,” I whispered, my voice thick with emotion.

She searched my eyes and, finding the reassurance she needed, gave a small, tender smile.

I grabbed the bags and followed her up the small wooden steps, pushing open the door. With antique furniture, the cabin exuded a timeless charm, a perfect blend of cozy warmth. Once inside, the large windows framed expansive views of the lake, and a stone fireplace anchored the room.

Nova wandered to the floor-to-ceiling windows where the view was nothing short of magical—the water stretched endlessly.

“Wow,” she murmured almost breathlessly. “This place is amazing. You’re so lucky your aunt has it.”

“Do you remember her? She was at Ledger’s retirement party.”

Nova turned around and gave me a warm smile. “Yes. I talked to her for a bit.”

I dropped the bags by the front door and walked to her, pulling a curl off her cheek. “Your hair is curly.”

She blushed. “I’ve been wearing it this way since you’ve been gone.”

Every string attached to my heart plucked like I was a broken violin. “Y—You have?” The words broke me.

She wrapped her hands around my neck, and I was a goner, completely melting into the floor. It was the first time she’d touched me, the first time she’d reached out. I savored the warmth of her skin against mine, leaning into her touch.

“Come outside,” I whispered, dropping my forehead to hers and hesitantly wrapping my hands around her lower back. We were slow dancing to our own silent melody. “I brought us lunch.”

She pulled back slightly, resting the tip of her nose against mine. “I am hungry,” she murmured.

“Me too,” I replied, though I was craving much more than the food in the picnic basket.

For a moment, we stood there, and I memorized the way her skin felt beneath my hands. This was love, the kind of consuming, undeniable connection that people in rehab talked about when they described their addiction. Nova was my everything.

She pulled away, and I found myself wanting to reach back out.

“Hospital food sucks,” she said while smiling up at me. “What can I do to help?”

If I said nothing, she’d stand there uncomfortably, so I pointed to a large beach blanket in a basket by the hearth. “Can you take that and follow me out?”

She grabbed the blanket while I went to the front door for the basket. I pushed open the back door, and we walked down the steps to the beach.

After picking a spot in the shade of a tree, I asked, “How’s this?”

She laid out the blanket and smiled. “Perfect.

“What did you bring?” she asked, pointing to the basket.

I grinned and gestured for her to sit. “Well, your roommate has a thing for my friends, and they went all out making the perfect charcuterie for her. They bought tons of different meats, so I swung by their place and grabbed the extras while they were setting up the boat for Luna.”

Nova giggled. “You brought me Luna’s meaty rejects?”

I dug through the picnic basket and pulled out a few containers of cold cuts and cheeses. “Yep.”

“This is amazing,” she said, opening a few of the containers as I handed her some crackers.

I also laid out honey, jam, fruits, and chocolates, grateful for all the years I spent with my grandmother. If she taught us anything, it was how to fake being fancy, and a well-made charcuterie board was the key.

“This is so good. Damn, I wonder what she’s eating if this is the bottom of the barrel,” Nova mumbled between bites, already loading up her plate.

She didn’t hold back, eating every morsel as she piled on more and more. Watching her enjoy the food with such enthusiasm made the effort of driving to their house and packing up cold cuts more than worth it.

I watched her, completely mesmerized, as she dug into the spread. The way her eyes lit up, the small sounds of satisfaction she made—it was intoxicating. She savored every flavor, and I savored her, unable to get enough.

She wasn’t just my escape, she was the thing that made everything else fade away. She made me feel alive, and I needed her to be mine.

“Are you going to eat?” she grumbled, her mouth full of crackers.

I huffed out a chuckle. “Yeah.” I grabbed a few things and put them on a plate as we sat in silence, eating and listening to the gentle lap of the waves.

“This is a nice escape,” she said.

I looked out at the waves, then back at her. “It is.”

That was it. My moment to dive in and explain everything to her, but I didn’t even know where to start or how to begin.

There was so much I wanted to say that nothing came out.

Thoughts kept tumbling through my brain, but it was like I was riding on a broken elevator, and I couldn’t find the right floor.

I’m sorry for being a horrible person and taking your virginity in a bathroom.

I’m sorry for doing blow on your ass. I’m sorry for even offering you the coke.

I’m sorry for bringing you by the party and thinking getting you drunk might be your idea of fun.

I’m sorry for not taking you home and washing you like I should have done after we had sex. I’m sorry. You deserve so much better.

“I’m so?—”

“The letter.” Nova and I started at the same time.

I shook my head. Yes. I could focus on the letter.

“You go,” she said.

“No. The letter I sent to you. I meant everything,” I said earnestly.

“Why?”

I sighed, grabbed a soda, and popped it open to give myself a moment to think. “I don’t know. I met you my first year playing, and we were good friends.”

I needed to start from the beginning. I had to tell her it all, lay it out for her to analyze and start over with.

“You helped me navigate that year and my career so much. We spent so much time on the airplanes going back and forth to the games.”

She gave me a soft smile. “You were the best seat partner.”

While my mom was forced to follow me to my games, she was always sitting in the back with Ledger. At first, Alex Popov helped me run plays, but he got bored through the season and I sat next to Nova. Our friendship was almost instantaneous.

“You don’t know how to make a video on Tok?” she asked, her nose scrunching up in the most adorable way.

We were flying over the Rockies, and she was rummaging through her bag for her ring light.

“No,” I admitted, and she lightly touched my shoulder.

“Come on, you can’t be running ads without at least knowing how to use a ring light.” She spent the next ten minutes patiently explaining how it worked, giving me a play-by-play.

When I thought I had a handle on it, I turned to her. “Is this what you want to do?” I asked.

“Social media?”

“Yeah.”

“I love it,” she said, her enthusiasm evident. “A lot of people don’t see the value, but it’s changing the way companies and people market themselves. It’s cool to see regular people gain popularity just by sharing their lives online.”