Page 39 of Your Biggest Downfall (Ravens Hockey #3)

nova

There was still so much I wanted to say and needed to tell him, yet it had been too heavy for too long between us. I needed to get back to what we were good at. I wanted to be friends with Austin first.

But his confession weighed heavily on my mind. Austin Hart loved me.

Three words that should have filled me with joy left me uneasy.

Austin Hart loved me, and while part of me was thrilled, another part couldn’t shake the apprehension.

Loving an addict wasn’t easy. It wasn’t the simple, carefree kind of love I had always imagined.

Instead, it was tangled up in constant doubts, wondering if I was saying the right thing or handling everything all wrong.

Having this conversation with him felt like walking on eggshells.

I found myself second-guessing my words.

Was I pushing too hard? Was I being too cautious?

It was exhausting, trying to strike a balance between caring for him and protecting myself.

My therapist had told me to take it slow, to be careful with my heart, but slow was hard.

Slow was painful. It felt like I was fighting against the natural current of my feelings, trying to swim upstream.

But there I was, standing in nothing but my bra and underwear on the edge of Lake Michigan, and all I wanted was to stop thinking for once. I was so tired of overanalyzing, of always trying to do the right thing. I wanted to embrace the mess, to jump in with both feet and see where it took me.

That’s why I was there, ready to plunge into the cold water without a second thought. I was done with caution, with the endless worrying. We were both young, and wasn’t that what falling in love was supposed to be about? The thrill of the unknown, the wild rush of emotions that made you feel alive?

I didn’t want to take it slow. I wanted to feel, to live, to let myself be swept away by the intensity of it all. Austin might have been a risk, but maybe, just maybe, he was a risk worth taking.

“Come on, slowpoke,” I teased him, shimmying out of my bra first, then my thong.

Holding my small chest with one hand, I sprinted toward the lake.

Just before jumping in, I tossed the bra aside, letting it land on the shore.

I kicked playfully in the water until it reached my waist, then bent down, letting the warm water envelop me.

Was my skin flushed because there was a man wildly in love with me? No, it was the heat of the summer day.

I turned to face the shoreline and caught Austin shaking his head, laughing.

Then, as if in a slow-motion scene from a movie, he hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his boxer briefs and slid them down.

He dropped them to the ground, and his hard, veiny cock came into view.

I was far enough out that I couldn’t make out the features of his face, but his dick?

It was as if the sun decided to make sure it fucking glowed.

He glided into the water, and it splashed as he swam toward me. I hesitated, not wanting to get my hair wet since it would frizz up in the humidity. But then he surfaced, water droplets sliding down his face, and he looked absolutely breathtaking.

“You were staring,” he said teasingly.

“Was not,” I fired back, but when I glanced down, his dick was no longer in view, and damn it, I actually missed it.

I’d already lost my virginity, so these feelings were perfectly normal, right? Plus, he just admitted he loved me. I was so caught up in the moment that I found myself trying to figure out if this was totally fine or if I should be more concerned about my sudden disappointment over a missing penis.

Don’t think.

Instead of lingering awkwardly in the water, I stood up, letting the cool air caress my bare breasts. My nipples instantly hardened, and his jaw dropped as he roamed his eyes over me, taking in every inch.

With a deliberate slowness, I walked over to him, wrapped my arms around his neck, and pulled him close. As our lips met, the world around us disappeared.

His mouth was firm but soft, and the taste of him was intoxicating. I pressed myself closer, feeling the smooth, wet skin of his chest against mine, our bodies moving together in the gentle current.

As I tightened my arms around his neck, his hard cock pressed against my stomach. I deepened the kiss, our tongues meeting in a slow, sensual dance that had us both breathing harder, our need for each other growing more urgent.

He groaned into my mouth, the sound vibrating through me, sending waves of pleasure coursing down to my aching core.

His hands roamed my back, pulling me even tighter against him, and the feel of his strong, wet body against mine ignited a fire that refused to be doused.

Every touch, every caress, was electric, and I lost myself in the intensity.

“Mmm,” I moaned.

He pulled his mouth away from mine, keeping a tight hold on me, and my head rolled back, exposing my neck. He took the opportunity to press his lips against the delicate skin, tracing down to my collarbone with tender kisses.

“This,” he murmured. “This is how it was meant to be.”

I did deserve this. Lost in his touch, I realized how much I’d forgotten—my mother’s illness, my terrible internship, and the looming conversation I’d have to have with Luna. This was the kind of escape I craved, the kind of high I needed—not from cocaine, but from moments like this.

“Yes,” I moaned.

He brought his wet hands to my nipples and rolled them between his fingers. “So fucking perfect.”

“Shh.” I tried to laugh but was too fucking turned on to do anything but feel my skin on fire. “They’re so tiny.”

He pulled away and gasped. “These?” He grabbed my boobs. It wasn’t even a handful for him.

“Yes,” I said with a resigned sigh.

“No fucking way.” He tweaked my nipples again, and I yelped in a combination of pleasure and pain. “These are fucking perfect and they’re mine.”

His. They were his. He claimed me.

“I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with.” He wrapped his arms around my lower back, and I wrapped my legs around his waist.

“I want this,” I murmured, pressing a kiss to the side of his jaw.

“I don’t want you to think I brought you here to fuck you.”

I shook my head. “I don’t.”

“Tell me what you want,” he demanded.

“You,” I whispered, dropping my forehead to his. “Isn’t it obvious?”

Our mouths collided again, and that familiar, comforting melody played in my mind, the one that always surfaced when I was lost in Austin. I was starving for it, desperate to hear it on repeat. I hadn’t felt this alive, this connected, in so long.

He carried me out of the water, my legs still wrapped around his waist, my lips craving his touch.

“Where are we going?” I murmured, breathless. “Inside?”

“Yeah.” His thick, raspy voice cut through the serene setting.

I looked around to confirm that we were indeed alone, then I let go of his neck and jumped down. “No.” I shook my head adamantly.

“No?”

“We’re not going inside.”

“We’re not?” Austin cocked his head to the side in confusion.

“No.” I raised my eyebrows and trailed my hands down his wet body. He was chiseled. “You have like a billion-pack.”

Austin let out a small laugh, but it came out raspy and sexy. My hands went down to the hair grazing the top of his dick.

He gasped and grabbed my wrist. “Are you sure? I want to take you inside.” His throat worked as he swallowed. “I want to do this right by you.”

“Then let me lead.” I wrapped my fingers around his cock, sliding my hand to the base.

“Fuuuuck,” he moaned and rolled his head up toward the sky.

I used his hips to steady me as I got down to my knees. “Look at me,” I demanded.

Austin looked down, and my mouth was right at his cock. I darted my tongue out, lapping the precum beading on his head like I was parched.

My eyes widened as our gazes met.

Not thinking.

“My way,” I said, pausing before the corners of my lips turned into a devious grin.

I could take it all back and rewrite this story. I was the narrator in my own life, and I would start right here.

“All yours, Supernova.”

I wrapped my mouth around his cock, and he let out a deep, low groan. I kept my jaw relaxed, allowing myself to get used to the sensation of his thick cock filling my mouth. The last time, I was too high to remember how it felt—and it hadn’t even made it to my mouth.

“Can I touch you?” The words rumbled in his chest, dripping with wanton need, making it clear how much he craved the connection.

I nodded, unable to talk as his finger threaded through my curls. “So fucking wet. Your mouth was made for me, Nova girl.”

With his praise and encouragement, I slowly took him in, my mouth exploring every inch of his shaft from base to tip.

I adjusted to the fullness, relishing the way he felt in my mouth.

The sand crunched beneath me, and when I made the mistake of looking up at him, I found his hooded blue eyes locked on me, watching intently as I licked and sucked him, savoring him like he was the first course in a nine-course meal he’d had yet to serve.

He curled his fingers into my hair, and I started sucking him, letting the tip of his cock hit my throat. My hands explored, following the rhythm my mouth was setting, pumping him with my mouth and hands.

“Such a good girl,” Austin praised, his grip tightening in my hair. He held onto me like he needed me to keep himself grounded.

I kept working him with my mouth, my hand guiding me to take him deeper, faster, and with more intensity.

I reached my other hand up to cup his hanging balls, gently massaging them between my fingers at first. His groan of satisfaction urged me on, making me squeeze tighter as I took him even deeper.

I was determined to be the best he’d ever had—to make this moment unforgettable.

I was reclaiming this experience for both of us.

“I’m going to come.” He let out a loud groan that reverberated in the air around us.