Page 19 of Your Biggest Downfall (Ravens Hockey #3)

I didn’t have a second to think about Luna, my mom, my shitty-ass job, nor did I fucking care what happened because I was feeling so many... feels.

In a distant part of my brain, I was sure I would one-hundred-percent regret this tomorrow morning. I was going to remember that I was in a bathroom in a shitty bar, getting high on coke without a care in the world.

Austin pulled his hand away. “I need to be inside you,” he moaned.

Somehow, this felt inevitable. I stood up and glanced behind me. Austin looked like a fucking mess, but I probably did too. My curls felt wild around me.

“Let me inside you, Supernova,” he crooned, running his hand around my ass cheek.

Pulling away meant he wouldn’t follow me, potentially ending our shared escape. I didn’t know how to face this shit existence without running. I was exhausted from merely surviving, and this—Austin—made me feel fucking alive.

He dropped down, sitting on his haunches as he spread my ass apart.

“What’re you doing?” I inhaled sharply.

“Eating you out while you make your decision.”

His tongue darted to my tightly puckered hole, and I gasped at the sensation. It was so warm, wet, and dare I say it? It was fucking moist.

“Oh, Austin,” I cried.

He knew how to pull me out of my head and bring me back to the moment. His tongue then went to my cunt...

Look at me, not even thinking about the UTI I’m for sure getting tomorrow.

The warmth from his tongue felt fucking amazing as he swirled it around my clit. I was throbbing. Everything was pulsing, and I was still fucking high. My teeth hurt, and I needed more from him.

“Fine.” I turned around, throwing him off my ass.

Chuckling, he fell off balance and then got up. “Turn back around. Hands on the toilet.”

I obliged, putting my hands on the same spot they had been all night. Had it been all night, already?

He pulled my underwear aside again, and I could hear him unzip his jeans.

It was fucking happening.

Hell, if I was going to lose my virginity, it might as well be to Austin Hart. The one person who knew exactly what I needed and how I needed it without ever verbalizing it.

I mean, it was only my virginity. It probably...

I didn’t have another chance to think because his cock was at my entrance, and I was gasping at how fucking massive he was as he slid inside me. Thank fuck he was slow because any more, I’d be on the ground in tears.

“Holy shit,” I cried out, white-knuckling the toilet.

It hurt so badly, but I was brave. I was strong. I was... high.

How the fuck did Luna fit two cocks inside her?

“You’re so goddamn tight, Nova,” he said as he gripped my hips.

I concentrated on his touch, but I was coming down. I wanted this to feel good, and I wanted to mask the pain of having sex for the first time in a bathroom high as fuck, so I pushed into him, letting him fill me up.

He was massive. There was no way this was normal. I closed my eyes, and he paused inside me.

“You’re so fucking tight. I’m going to get fucking lost in here.”

I was grateful he paused because the pain seemed to level out, and I needed to go. I needed to fuck. I may never have had sex before, but I knew what it looked like. Call me a porn connoisseur, but I loved touching myself to a good video when I was feeling randy.

“Please,” I panted. “Fuck me.”

A low chuckle reverberated in the disgusting-ass bathroom, and he grabbed my hips as he thrust into me.

I thought he was going to pause, but he was fucking relentless, and I was desperate. I needed to fucking come, shamelessly. He continued to rail me, and I was insatiable. His balls slapped against my pussy as he fucked me.

While holding onto my hips, he continued to impale me with his massive cock. I closed my eyes, letting myself get lost in the feeling. I was floating until there was a large smacking sound.

It took me a moment to register what had happened, but his hand came down on the bare skin of my ass. The thong got in the way a little, and I briefly noticed he hadn’t even taken my underwear down.

“Fuck,” he cried. “I’ll never be able to fuck anyone else again,” he panted.

“W—Why?” I managed to ask, but I felt myself waning.

My high was gone, and it was like slowing down after being in fast-forward for so long.

“Because you’re fucking mine,” he growled and thrust into me a few more times.

I thought he was going to come, but nothing happened. Instead, he tried to hold onto me just as I lost my high.

I’d come back down from what felt like floating, realizing where I was and what I was doing. It hit me all of a sudden, hard and fast, as did the regret.

“Austin,” I said, standing up. “I—I?—”

“Dammit,” he cried and pulled out of me.

I turned to look at him. His eyes were glassy. He was still high as fuck, which was probably why he couldn’t come.

“Austin, I—” I shook my head, shame running into me like a freight train.

It happened so suddenly and quickly. My emotions were all over the place, but the strongest feeling was the shame of what I had done.

I was so emotionally dysregulated, and I couldn’t think straight.

I was ashamed for myself, for Austin, for the two of us because I actually liked him.

I didn’t want him to think of me as the girl who got high and fucked in the bathroom, even though that was exactly who I was in that moment.

“Nova.” His voice was raspy but quiet.

I looked down and realized his dick was covered in blood—my blood.

“Nova,” he repeated.

I shook my head, my eyes stinging. “No.”

My heart was racing again, but this time it wasn’t because of the cocaine.

“Nova. Did you just let me take your virginity while you were high in the fucking bathroom of a bar?”

I shook my head and pulled down my skirt. I pushed past him to the stall door, not caring about the stickiness between my legs.

“So, what?” I bit back without looking at him.

I fumbled with the lock, grateful that no one was in here to witness my epic mental breakdown.

“So, what?” Austin repeated, sounding incredulous.

I could hear him fumbling with his pants behind me, but my focus was on getting the hell out of the bar. I pushed the heavy door open and stepped into the dimly lit hallway, my heart pounding in my chest.

The music pulsed through the air, a chaotic backdrop to my frantic thoughts. I wanted to run away. I didn’t deserve to escape with Austin because I was always two seconds away from the truth.

Panic surged through me, my need to find Luna overwhelming everything else.

I moved through the bar, searching for her, my vision blurred by tears. The crowd seemed to close in on me, the noise and laughter a stark contrast to the panic roaring inside my head.

“Nova. Stop,” Austin screamed.

I turned around, tears falling down my cheeks. “What?” I screamed, but no one heard me over the music.

He closed the distance between us.

“Everything we did was consensual. I agreed to it. It’s fine.” I huffed.

“You’re a virgin...” He trailed off like somehow that answered whatever question he had in his head.

I shrugged, turned around, and spotted Luna by the bar. As if we were somehow telepathic, she turned around just at that moment, and I mouthed, “Help,” hoping she’d understand.

She was already walking toward me when I turned back to Austin. “I was.”