Page 46 of Your Biggest Downfall (Ravens Hockey #3)

nova

“You did... what?” Luna screeched as I pulled out a few suitcases to throw my clothes in.

I didn’t have much here, and whatever I left, Austin said he’d hire a few people to grab the big stuff, like the furniture, to bring to our apartment.

Our apartment. How fucking strange was that to say. I was moving in with my husband.

Husband.

God, that was even stranger.

I had to deal with Luna, who was pacing across the room with tears running down her cheeks. Luna never cried. I was always the emotional, emo kid growing up, but Luna was tough as nails.

“Why didn’t you invite me? Why didn’t we talk this out?” Luna dropped to her knees, and my heart lurched.

At first, I thought she was being dramatic, but then I realized she was truly sobbing.

I sank down beside her. “I’ll keep paying for the apartment until the lease is up, Lune.” I tried to lighten the mood. “It’ll be nice to have your living room back, especially now that you’re dating two guys.”

But she shook her head, tears streaming down her face. “This isn’t what you’re supposed to do. It’s not healthy or good for you.”

“What?” I snapped, feeling defensive. “You don’t know what’s good for me. Austin is it. We’re already married?—”

“It’s not too late for a divorce.”

“Fuck off,” I spat, standing up abruptly. Breathing heavily, I tried to calm the emotions raging inside me, but the anger and frustration kept bubbling up. “Luna, you know Austin is good for me. He loves me, and I love him. We see each other, really see each other.”

Luna stared at me, disbelief and shock etched across her face. “Nova, you’ve barely known him for any real amount of time. This was supposed to be a date, not a commitment for life. How can you be so sure? I thought you were just having fun.”

The apartment walls closed in on me, and I couldn’t stand it anymore.

Without another word, I began throwing things into my suitcase, my hands moving with urgency.

Clothes, books, shoes—anything I could grab—were shoved into the bags without any care.

I didn’t even look at Luna, who was still on the floor, her sobs growing louder.

I kept packing, ignoring the mess I was making. The apartment that had once felt like home was now suffocating. I needed to leave, to get away from the judgment, the doubt, and the fear.

“Nova, please,” she begged, her voice breaking. “What about his sobriety? You know how fragile that is. Have you even thought about what this could do to him?”

I froze, my hands trembling as I gripped the handle of the suitcase. “Luna,” I whispered, my voice barely audible as I turned to face her. “I love him, and he loves me. I know it’s fast, but it feels right. I don’t want to hurt him—I just want to be with him.”

She shook her head, her tears still flowing. “But have you thought about what this might do to him? What if this overwhelms him, Nova? What if this makes it harder for him to stay sober?”

How could she think I hadn’t considered his sobriety?

I thought about it every single damn moment.

“Of course I’ve thought about his sobriety, Luna.

I think about it every single day. Do you think I’d jump into this without considering what it means for him?

He fucked up, but he loves me, and he’s making up for it.

Moving in with him, marrying him—that’s what’s best for Mami and me. ”

Luna’s face fell. She looked at me, and when she spoke, her voice was sad. “I know you wanted your mom to see you get married, but... like this?”

“Like what?” I spat back. “Happy?”

Fuck her. Fuck her for not believing in me. She was like everyone else. She doubted everything I did, but if I wanted to be with Austin, which I clearly did, then I would.

“I don’t want you to leave like this,” Luna said as I pulled a few suitcases toward the door.

I was still hot as I whipped around to face her. “You made this choice. You made something that was exciting and new for me into something about... you.”

“I didn’t mean to.” Luna was holding back tears again.

“Well.” I shrugged. “You did.”

“You can come back. You always have a room here.”

She didn’t get it. “No. That’s the whole point. I don’t want to come back... ever.”

“Please,” she whispered. “Don’t leave like this.”

Just then, Austin appeared in the open door. I’d made him wear his hat and sunglasses still because even though we’d gotten married, I told him we needed to keep it a secret until we told Auburn and Ledger. He’d begrudgingly agreed.

Austin glanced behind me, probably at Luna, who was still crying. “Are you guys okay?” He took a hesitant step forward.

“Everything’s fine,” I replied, my voice tight. Fine was a placeholder for everything I didn’t want to admit.

“Fine is good,” Austin said, then reached for a few of my bags.

He looked back at Luna and gave her an awkward wave. She was crying, not even saying congratulations, while I was moving out.

“I don’t know what to say, Luna. I’m not trying to take her away from you. You’re welcome to stay with us if you want?—”

“She doesn’t want to,” I cut in, turning to grab the rest of my things. “Bye, Luna,” I huffed, dropping my key on the counter.

“I’ll be here when this fails,” she whispered, and I shot her one last look.

Fuck her. Fuck her unsupportive attitude. I rarely got mad at Luna—she was my only friend—but I was furious with her, and I wasn’t sure how we’d ever move past this.

Shaking my head, I walked out the door, closing it behind us.

“Are you okay?” Austin asked once we were out in the hall.

“No,” I muttered, staring straight ahead and continuing toward the exit.

This was supposed to be good for me, a positive change, so why did it all feel so overwhelming?

“Do you want to talk about it?” Austin asked, walking beside me.

“No.”

This wasn’t how I imagined starting our marriage.