Page 52 of Your Biggest Downfall (Ravens Hockey #3)

nova

“Jeremy said he went home with him after practice. He thought he had texted you to let you know his plans changed but that they crashed afterward.”

My knee bounced as we pulled up to Jer’s. If Austin was here, he was next door to us. He couldn’t even walk down the freaking block to come home?

I chewed on my fingers and looked over at Luna. “Was he drinking?”

I hated the look on Luna’s face. Her mouth pressed into a worried line, her nose scrunched, and she reached out to take my hand. “I don’t know if Austin was drinking, but Jeremy definitely was.”

The unspoken words echoed loudly in my head. Austin and Jeremy had been together. Jeremy was drinking. Austin didn’t call me last night. I wasn’t naive—maybe hopeful, but not stupid.

“If he was drinking... he’ll lose his job,” I whispered, my throat tight.

Luna gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. “I think there’s more to be worried about than his job.”

I nodded, my eyes burning with unshed tears. I was so damn tired—physically, emotionally, completely drained.

“Do you want me to go in with you? I was going to check on your mom...”

I sobbed, and Luna jumped out of the car. She walked around to my side, opened the door, and wrapped me tightly in her arms.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “You were right. This past month I’ve been such a shit friend. I haven’t been there.”

She shook her head. “Don’t you dare say I was right yet. Go in there and figure it out. Is this the first time?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“He’s been acting normal?”

“Yeah. Everything has been perfect, which is why this is coming from left field. It’s so sudden.”

“These things happen so quickly. One day, things seem so normal, and then next?—”

“It doesn’t,” I whispered.

She gave me an apologetic smile. “I wanna go check on Mami. Go up there and see. He could’ve just crashed at Jeremy’s house. You never know.”

I nodded, appreciating her optimism, but deep down, that wasn’t the reality.

I hugged her tighter. “I’m so sorry for the things I said. I’m sorry I was angry.”

She kissed me on the cheek. “It’s fine. We’re sisters. It’s what sisters do.” She pulled back with a shrug. “Besides, your man’s been covering all the rent, so I can’t stay mad at you for too long.”

She winked, and my jaw dropped. How? Why? He’d promised to cover my portion of the rent but not the entirety of it.

I shook my head, trying to push the thoughts aside. My focus needed to be on him.

I swallowed hard as I stepped out of the car. Luna gave me a wave before heading off, and I braced myself as I walked toward the apartment. She’d given me the front access code and the apartment number, making it easy to find, but my nerves were still rattling.

As the elevator hummed to life, taking me up to the second floor, my thoughts spun wildly, refusing to settle. The clean, modern walls of the apartment building, all glass and steel, felt sterile, similar to where Austin lived.

Where I lived.

That thought was like a punch to the gut. Would I even be able to take him back after this? Could I? The uncertainty clawed at me, making my stomach churn. Every fiber of me wanted to believe this was all a misunderstanding, a mistake, but the doubt lingered, festering at the back of my mind.

The elevator ding ed, breaking the silence, and I stepped out onto the second floor. Tension banded around my chest as I approached Jeremy’s door. I raised my hand, hesitating for a second. But then I brought my knuckles to the wood, knocking once, the sound echoing down the desolate hallway.

It wasn’t long before the door swung open. Jeremey looked disheveled and half asleep. His hair was a mess, and his eyes were barely open, like he’d just woken up. Clearly, Luna hadn’t told him I was coming.

“You’re not Luna?” he mumbled, voice thick with sleep, blinking at me like he was trying to piece together why I was standing at his door.

I didn’t have time for his confusion.

Without waiting for a proper invite, I pushed past him. “Where is he?” I demanded.

Jeremy barely had time to respond before I saw him. Austin was sprawled out on the couch, passed out. My heart stopped. I scanned the room, and my panic eased.

There were no beer bottles or liquor containers scattered around, no signs of a drunken mess, nothing like I had feared. The apartment was spotless—almost too spotless, really.

The guilt hit me hard. I’d worked myself into a frenzy, imagining the worst, but here he was. Safe. Unharmed. Just asleep.

I walked over to the couch, my footsteps feeling heavier than they should have been, and gently shook him. His eyelids fluttered, and for a moment, he seemed confused, his eyes blinking rapidly as he came to.

When his gaze finally focused on me, recognition dawned, and his eyes went wide. “Oh, shit, Nova,” he muttered, quickly sitting up, rubbing his face as if he could erase the exhaustion that clung to him. His voice was thick with guilt, like he already knew what I was thinking.

He wasn’t drunk. He wasn’t in danger. He was just... here, in this spotless apartment, asleep on the couch. But I couldn’t shake the feeling of everything simmering beneath the surface, threatening to boil over.

Why did I feel like everything was about to fall apart, even though nothing looked wrong?

I sat on the edge of the couch, the adrenaline still running through me, and stared at him, trying to gather my thoughts.

“Why are you here?” I asked, my voice softer now since the anger and panic drained away, leaving only exhaustion behind.

“You didn’t text me or call. I’ve been worried sick.

” I scooted toward him and dropped to my knees so we were face-to-face.

Noting a peculiar smell, I leaned in and sniffed.

“And why do you smell like a mouthwash commercial?”

“Nova,” he repeated and shot up from the couch. I noticed the way his hand touched his temples momentarily, the way his eyelids were heavy, and the slight tremor in his hands. “I am so sorry. I passed out at Jeremy’s house. I forgot to text you. I was exhausted from practice.”

It was so . . . rehearsed.

I looked back at Jeremy. “You’re a bad influence. You were drinking around him? He’s supposed to be sober.”

Jeremy shrugged. “He didn’t do anything his wife wouldn’t approve of.”

I stood up, hands on my hips, and walked toward him. “What I wouldn’t approve of?” I spat. “You’re his supposed best friend. He’s fucking sober. This isn’t a nagging wife problem, this is something that is fucking serious, and you sitting here like it’s a joke?—”

“Nova, baby.” Austin was behind me, and he wrapped his hands around me.

There was that fucking smell again. “You stink.”

He chuckled. “I’ll take a shower.”

“I’m so fucking mad at you. You had me thinking you were dead in a ditch!”

He rubbed his temples again. “You don’t need to worry about me, Supernova. I was tired. I’m sorry I worried you. I didn’t mean it.”

I pushed him off me. “You worried me until five in the morning. This isn’t like you forgot dinner, Austin. This is fucking serious.”

He ran his fingers through his curls. “I know, Nova. I fucked up.” He turned around and then back to me. “What else can I fucking do?”

I shook my head. “Where’s your car? You have to drive me home. Luna dropped me off.”

Austin nodded. “I walked. We can walk back.”

“Great.”

I walked past Jeremy, aggressively bumping his shoulder on the way out. “Oops. It was just my bitch-wife attitude that somehow got in the way.”

I shook my head and heard mumbling, not caring that they were talking about me. I grabbed my phone and sent Luna a text.

Me: I found him. He was sober... I think.

I waited a few moments, watching the bubbles appear before her response came through.

Luna: Good. Be careful.

I didn’t deserve my best friend. She shouldn’t have been there. She should hate me for the way I’d pushed her aside the last month, but she was there for me when I needed her the most.

I closed my eyes as I waited for Austin in the hallway.

Was this how marriage was supposed to be? Was I always going to be on edge waiting for him to fuck up? That wasn’t fair to him, but it wasn’t fair to me either.

My breathing was becoming erratic as my mind raced through all the different ways this scenario was going to play out in the years to come.

“Hey, Supernova.” Austin’s raspy voice pulled me from my spiral. “You ready to go to Michigan?”

I stared at him, wondering if he was serious. It was fucking six in the morning, and I hadn’t slept all night. No, I wasn’t ready to go to fucking Michigan.

His face crooked into a smile. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to worry you. I came to hang out and then passed out, I promise.”

I nodded a few times, trying to believe him. “I, uh, need a nap.”

“Yeah, of course. Let’s get you home, and I’ll tuck you in.” He paused, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I can also tell Emma we’re canceling, if you want?”

God, yes. I wanted to cancel. I didn’t want to drive hours to Michigan.

I was still angry and frustrated with everything.

What I wanted was to curl up under the covers and be alone for the next day.

But Austin loved the house in Michigan, and if he was that close to alcohol, it must’ve triggered something in him.

He needed the escape to Michigan probably as much as I needed to not go.

When we walked up to his car, he held the door open for me.

He seemed fine, though. He’d been around booze all night, and he looked... fine.

“No,” I muttered, forcing myself to push through it. Sometimes we do things we don’t want to for the people we love. This was one of those times. “I’ll go. I just need a quick nap.”

I slid into the car, and he got in on the driver’s side.

“Did you drink?” I asked him point-blank.

“No,” he responded quickly, his hands gripping the wheel. “I didn’t, Nova.”

But his jaw was tense, and his chest was rising too fast.

“Are you lying to me?” The question slipped out before I could stop it. I didn’t want to be this person, constantly nagging him. I wanted to trust him.

“No, Nova,” he snapped, his voice low and controlled. “I’m not fucking lying. I want to go home. Are we done with the fucking interrogation?” He whipped his head in my direction, eyes burning with anger.

“Fine,” I muttered, sinking into the passenger seat. “Everything’s fine.”