Page 94 of The Freedom You Seek

I struggled against the hold of the men, but my body was just too weak.

My eyes darted around, searching the square for something—anything in desperation. My heart skipped more than a single beat when I spotted Dion. He stood on the sidelines, almost hidden by the townsfolk, and he stared at me in anguish. His gaze felt so penetrating thatit sliced right through me. The small glimmer of hope that had sparked upon seeing him vanished as soon as it had appeared because he didn’t make a move or try to reach me. He just stood there, still as a statue, observing me with agony in his expression as the two men slammed me against the wooden stake and restrained me to the structure while everyone else continued chanting, “Murderer. Murderer.”

I wanted to scream, but I’d been robbed of all autonomy over my body. The rough rope they’d used to restrain me burrowed deep into my skin, and it restricted my movements so completely that even if I’d been able to control my body, I wouldn’t have been able to move. Panic spread like acid from my chest through my veins, wreaking havoc in not only my body but also my soul as it cried out and begged for help.For him.

Once again, the boy who’d been the first to accuse me stared in my direction. “Burn.”

One after the other, the chorus of distorted voices changed, thirsting for me to surrender to the flames that soon would come.

My eyes darted around, searching for Dion in the crowd and silently pleading with him to protect me, to save me as he’d promised, but he just stood utterly still, his head canted, with an expression that mirrored what I felt.

The boy received a torch from one of the men who’d dragged me to the pyre, and he lowered the fire into the kindling. The dry material caught instantly, flames spreading and eating away at the dry wood until the world around me was an inferno with me at its center. Smokerose and filled my failing lungs, enveloping me as pain howled through my body, and the acrid smell of burned human flesh and hair became overpowering. The flames searched and found me, licking my skin, creeping into my flesh, boiling my blood, choking me from the inside, and dancing with my bones until I met my agonizing, gruesome end. The last thing I noticed before death embraced me like a relentless lover was that Dion was gone. He’d abandoned me. For a few glorious weeks, I’d known what it felt like to be cherished and protected, and I wished I’d never had that experience because the agony of being completely abandoned was so much worse than it’d have been to never feel this security in the first place.

Catapulted from my dream, I woke up for a short moment and stared up at the night sky. I was gasping and whimpering and couldn’t stop any of it because the horror of my dream refused to fade.

When I finally fell asleep again—my face wet with tears and my throat raw—I embraced merciful oblivion.

The morning after my horrible nightmare, I flat-out refused to ride with Dion. I knew the dream hadn’t been his doing, but it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. After our fight yesterday and the nightmare, I couldn’t deal with him. Instead, I rode with Ireas, who tried his best to touch me as little as possible. I’d briefly considered joiningThain, but it seemed mean and wrong to use him when we were still on shaky ground because I wasn’t amplifying for him anymore.

Ireas and I were silent as we rode together. Since I was lost in my own thoughts most of the time anyway, I had no objections to this. But I nearly fell off the horse when we suddenly stopped. I caught myself just in time, and—once my butt was safely back in the saddle again—I scanned the surroundings. The path we traveled on was narrow, and I could see the edge of the forest in the distance. We must be close to Rastialla.

“Someone is following us. We have to hide.” Ireas words were a mere whisper, and I tensed. It’d been a long time since we’d encountered other people. And what did he mean when he’d said that someone was following us? Did he mean someone was pursuing us or was simply traversing the forest on the same path as us?

Fig gave us a hand signal, and everyone guided their horses into the trees.

I was on edge, but when I spotted the two riders coming down the path we’d just been on, I couldn’t believe my rapidly widening eyes. How wasthispossible? I vibrated with the need to get closer to confirm that this wasn’t just another cruel dream. For once, I was grateful for Ireas’ loose hold on me because I could easily free myself.

Without even thinking further, I jumped from the horse and ran on the path, ignoring the panicked protests of Ireas. I ran as fast as I could and stopped directly in front of the two people on horseback, staring at them in disbelief.

Riding without Nayana in front of me felt wrong, and the hot beast of jealousy circulated through my veins whenever I caught a glimpse of Ireas holding her. It was for the best, and I’d known it from the start. The only way to get enough distance was to make her hate me, even though it tore me up inside. She could never be mine or conduct the Rite with me. Even getting as close as we’d been—it’d been a mistake, and now we were both suffering thanks to my idiocy.

I wasn’t blind to her hurt and how she didn’t understand why I was so distant from her, and it fucked me up every minute of every day. It felt like I was constantly driving my own dagger into my guts, twisting and then twisting some more. To keep my magic from reaching out to her was also putting a strain on me. Only recently had I noticed that I sometimes wrapped her up in black tendrils without making a conscious choice to do so—my power had developed a dynamic of its own, and to clamp down on that habit was harder than expected. So yes, even my own magic fought against me because I was just plain stupid. To make things worse, I still hadn’t been able to silence all my instincts that demanded I had to protect her, keepher close, make sure nothing could harm her. That I wasn’t able to turn off those visceral demands—even though no one else was to blame but myself—was pure torture.

Last night, when Nayana had first broken down crying and shaking and then had later woken up from a nightmare, I’d almost caved. Her long, blonde locks had been plastered around her head with sweat, and the haunted expression on her face still hurt worse than every battle wound I’d ever received—combined. Something primal had ordered me to soothe her and to make all the pain disappear. Before I’d even realized it, I’d risen and had been on my way to pick her up and settle down with her in my arms when I’d stopped myself. Scolding myself, I’d returned to my bedroll, repeating mantra-like that I’d need to keep my distance.

But when I noticed her rushing toward the approaching riders, leaving the safety of the trees, everything else became insignificant. The world was immediately reduced to a single pinpoint—her. Instantly, I was off my horse as well, racing after Nayana and jumping between her and the strangers like a beast possessed, crowding her back toward the safe line of the trees. I emphasized how little I tolerated her attempts to step around me with a menacing growl. When she eventually came to the realization that dodging me was impossible, she stopped her vain struggle and stayed behind my towering form as my attention shifted to the two riders who’d halted.

A man and a woman stared at us in disbelief and confusion. Both had dismounted, and it seemed they weren’t heavily armed. As if I would trust that. Just because theypretended to be harmless didn’t mean it wasn’t simply a good act.

The woman overcame whatever had stunned her first, and she narrowed her eyes at me, her expression as murderous as mine. “Whoever you are, get away from Naya.”

I growled again and showed the stranger my teeth. I didn’t even care that the female knew Nayana’s name, and I readied myself for an attack, carefully tugging at my Amplifier’s Potential to fuel my magic with hers.

“Stop that, jerk.” Nayana was done staying in my protective shadow but failed to shove me out of the way. She tried to step around me another time, and I easily caught her arm. Finally, she stopped struggling.

Instead of paying me any attention, Nayana spoke. “Rewi. Bryon. What—is it really you? How did you find me? Shit, Dion—get out of my fucking way and let me go!”

Dumbfounded, which was a state I rarely found myself in, I had lost my grip on her and let her slip out of my protective range as I watched her run back to the woman and the man whose names she obviously knew. What in Kalag’s name was happening?

“Rewi!”

“Naya!”

Both women embraced as if it were the last time they would have the chance to do so. Maybe it would be if I had it my way.

I stood there, feeling foolish, taking in the scene, and my anger at myself intensified. I was furious that my instincts had overruled my rational side and that I’d lostmy composure after pretending not to care even a little bit all those previous days. As I shook myself out of my self-reprimanding state, I couldn’t suppress another low, menacing growl. Nayana had left the embrace of the one she’d called Rewi—the female—and was deep in the arms of the male, holding him the same way she’d hugged the woman.No. No, no, no. Fuck no!

I had enough. Angrily, I stalked over and ripped her away from the male asshole who’d dared to lay his hands on her. “What the fuck, Jama! What are youthinking?”