Page 107 of The Freedom You Seek

Antas turned to me, and I reflected on his words before I continued. “Larithia mentioned that before. That it must be a fully consensual choice for the binding to form. But what if said decision is forced, through blackmail, for example?”

“The divine magic would know. This Rite originates directly from the gods. If you get rejected once, you won’t be granted another chance ever again—the forcing party, that is. Also, I do not know if you are aware of it, but even in older times, Amplifier were rare, although more common than today. No one did the binding on a whim. In the end, it is a decision for life.”

“What if I go through with it and will regret it one day? Or the bonded Wielder will?”

“Of course, there is a chance, but I have never heard of such a thing happening before.” Antas looked at me, and it was as if he was able to see right into my soul. “You are not only conflicted about the binding in general but also with whom you consider doing it, right?”

I was only able to nod as I nursed my bottle. “He’s a complicated person.” We both knew whom I was talking about.

“He is. His past shapes him just as much as you are formed by your own. Nayana, I will not lie to you. Having known Dion all his life, I can confirm that being connected on such a level to someone like him won’t be the way to a peaceful and easy existence. More like a constant challenge.”

“I’d be able to live with constant challenges. The problem I have is that whenever I think I know Dion at least a bit, he proves me wrong.”

Antas’ lips curled slightly upward, and he showed me one of his rare smiles. “I have watched the two of you for long enough to be able to tell that if someone has the chance to pierce through his armor, then it would be you.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Some things are easier to understand from the outside.”

My bottle was already half empty, and my brain slightly lagged behind. Still, I was sober enough to grasp that Antas might be right.

“Maybe. Doesn’t feel easy at all from my point of view.”

“Consider this if you haven’t already. Do you think you are the only one asking yourself if doing the Rite and forming a lifelong binding are the right decisions? Have you considered that sometimes great power is balanced by immense weakness?”

“Until earlier, I thought so, yes. I’ve imagined he’d be quite eager to have access to more power. But I’m not so sure anymore. We had a small conversation earlier, and I think he’s just as hesitant as I am.”

“Is it bothering you?”

My unfocused eyes and blurry vision told me I’d had enough alcohol, and I placed the bottle on the ground in front of me. “I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not. Do you think Dion doesn’t want this because of me? Because I’m constantly refusing to accept his antics and delusions of grandiosity?”

Antas shook his head, then sighed. “And that is something the two of you should talk about.”

“Yes, because he’s so good at communicating.” Frustration laced my voice as I scratched an itchy spot under my left collarbone that was driving me crazy.

“As I have mentioned, it will be a challenge. The question, though, is: do you want this challenge at all? Or will your fear win out in the end?”

“And we’re back at the beginning.”

“Are we? I don’t think so.”

“What did you mean by my fear winning in the end?”

“You are either too stubborn or too afraid to take this step, just like my nephew. Maybe it is both. Dion has already told you that he will never try to convince you because you have been nothing but vocal about your aversion.”

I let out a frustrated groan at the whole situation. Antas had been nothing but neutral, nudging my thoughts, trying to allow me to see things from all sides. And I wondered if he was right in his implications. Was I really fighting the Rite out of some stubborn principle and because of fear of the unknown? I looked at Antas again, who suddenly seemed to be very far away with histhoughts.

I waited patiently, and when his eyes focused on me again, his features displayed an apology. “There’s one thing you must know, though. You both have to decide before you will arrive in Amalach.”

“You just saw that, didn’t you?”

Antas nodded. “It’s not always dreams. Sometimes, it pulls me in.”

“Did you also see how to decide?”

“No, it does not work like it. There is no premonition that is set in stone. In the end, everything is about choice, about decisions. But it is safe to say that Amalach will be some sort of crossroads. One road will open if you bind, the other if you do not. After that, the Rite will never alter the course of events anymore, not for the good, nor the bad.”

I nodded and sank into my own thoughts. A few weeks ago, I would have laughed if someone had told me I would believe in something like premonitions, about crossroads having an impact, maybe even on a bigger scope than just my personal life. But everyone treated Antas’ hunches with such seriousness that it was hard not to fall in line, even if that meant I—and Dion—had to reach a decision within the next fortnight or so. I could feel the stress rising again.