Page 105 of The Freedom You Seek
Dion had the audacity to shrug. “If you really think I would allow someone I don’t know or like to isolate you from everyone—well, darling, that’s on you.”
Darling?Who did he think he was?—Thain?“Maybe I hoped that you—for once in your life—would do the decent thing. Or that you’d at least trust me with this.”
“Your track record when it comes to decisions concerning your safety isn’t the best, Jama. Also, do you still have delusions that I’m decent?”
“You’re an infuriating asshole.” I wasso, soangry at him. My fists balled tightly, and I was sure we’d fight again, but I didn’t care. “Who do you think you are, Dion? First, you treat me like air—or worse, the dirt under your shoes for days, telling me I’m your biggest problem, and now you’re back to playing the overbearing brute, trying to save me from everything, including my own shadow? I’m so sick of it and have enough of you.”
“As if you could ever have enough of me. And your shadow could be far from harmless with the wrong people around.”
My answer got stuck in my throat as I felt something dark grabbing my dress from behind, pullingme a few steps backward until my back hit a tree. Dion stalked up to me and grinned smugly. “See?”
“Stop being so infuriating!”
“Once you stop actively seeking danger.”
“I’m not seeking danger! And for the love of the gods, stop crowding me.”
“Thinking about it, I prefer you caged by the tree and me. Because there are a few things I’ll have to make clear, and for that, I can’t have you running away. As much as I enjoy a good chase from time to time, now is not the right occasion for that.”
My chest heaved with anger as Dion stood still like a predator toying with his prey. Weird how he had himself under control while I was rapidly descending further into madness. Sure, not all the turmoil was his fault. Some of the things Bryon had said had perfectly primed me for fury, like when he’d dropped thegood mothercomment.The audacity!But right now, my most pressing problem was Dion and how close he stood to me.
“I’m not in the mood to listen to your insanities.”
“Doesn’t matter to me.”
“But it does to me! Release me this instant.” Of course, he didn’t let me go. Instead, he crowded me even closer to the tree.
“Listen well, for this is important. You willnotride with that boy to the capital. I won’t allow it.”
It was enough. I’d reached my breaking point and couldn’t stop myself from screaming in his face. “Fuck you, Dion. You have no right to tell me what to do! And if you’d given me the courtesy of asking, you’d have foundout that I have no intention of leaving the party. But no, you have to show your damn bossy self again. I’m tempted to ride with Rewi and Bryon just to spite you.”
“And then do what, exactly? Play house in an unimportant town with the puppy? Subject yourself to a boring male and a life of lackluster fucking, popping out a few heirs, and beinga good motherwhile he drinks the money away? And all that while the worlds slowly go to shit and perish? Is this what you want? Is this what you’re trying to tell me?”
Each question was louder than the one before, and he stressed each one with an angry snarl. And this was when I had an epiphany.
“You’re jealous.”
“If that thought makes you see reason, then, of course, feel free to think so. I won’t stop you.”
“You are. Just as you have been jealous of Thain the whole time. Only that this here is not only in your head, right? This time, there’s someone who means something to me. So yes, you’re jealous, Dion. But let me repeat the words you surely overheard earlier directed at someone else. I have no interest in anything romantic or else. Not now, not ever.”
“Neither have I, Jama.”
“Your actions say otherwise.”
Dion’s eyes narrowed, and he reached out, grabbing my chin with one of his hands. Despite his dominating gesture, his touch felt surprisingly gentle. “It’s the truth. And maybe it’s time to speak about another hard fact. No matter what you think or do, I’ll never—never in a millionwinters—pursue you in that way. No matter what happens between us, I’llnevermake you mine, Jama. I’d ratherdie.”
I stared daggers at his stupidly beautiful face. The air around us was almost crackling with static electricity. Dion was way too close as he spoke, and I could tell he was dead serious. It wasn’t deflection because I’d accused him of jealousy, instead he was absolutely one hundred percent telling me his truth.
Which made his next action even more confusing.
Because right after his declaration that he’d prefer death to being with me, Dion crushed his lips to mine.
I was too perplexed to shove him away, which, honestly, I should have done. Instead, my eyes widened, then fluttered shut as his surprisingly smooth mouth landed on mine. Everything about Dion was solid, but not his lips. A softness, a fragility, so at odds with the fierce energy that had consumed us just moments ago—our connection was barely a whisper, much like a question we were both still trying to find the answer to. After what felt like an eternity, instinct took over, and despite everything we’d shouted at each other—despite all the anger inside of me—I kissed him back.
At first, the tenderness between us lingered, fluttering touches, inquiries, and answers at the same time. I melted into his unyielding arms as Dion deepened our kiss—or did I?—and all rational thinking waved the white flag in total surrender. I’d been conquered, and he was helping himself to the spoils of this war—not that I minded at all.
As he pulled me closer into his embrace, the soft, cautious kiss escalated into something more as our lipsexplored each other. When I felt Dion brush his tongue against the seam of my lips, they parted almost on their own accord, allowing him entry.