Page 120 of The Freedom You Seek
“Nice try, Jama.”
“You’re infuriating.”
“You told me that before.” Dion grinned and leaned his upper body forward. More strands of his long, black hair than usual had come loose from the strap of leatherthat always tied it back, and for a moment, I could see vulnerability in his eyes and posture.
“Binding doesn’t mean giving up all secrets, though, right?”
“No. But some things are unavoidable. The best example is my army rank. That’s nothing you’d have found out during the Rite or because of being bound, but it would have come out sooner or later.”
Before I could answer, Dion lifted his hand to interrupt me. “You know, Naya, for me, the crucial question isn’t about whether to consider the Rite of Binding or not, but rather whether we should proceed to travel together. Bringing you somewhere safe is still a valid option for me.”
“You won’t do that. I told you earlier what will happen if you try.”
“I know you don’t want to be left behind. That doesn’t change the fact it’s still the safest choice.”
It took all the self-control I could muster not to act on the anger that was bubbling up inside of me. “Sorry to say, Dion, but this isn’t your decision. I’m just as involved in this whole mess as you or the others. Send me away, and I’ll find my way back to you alone.”
“I’m too selfish anyway, Naya.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m too selfish to send a friend away, never to see her again. I don’t have enough friends to be able to afford that.” Dion smiled lopsidedly at me, but I could tell it was a forced one because no dimple appeared. “So no, I’m not going to order you away—quite the opposite. My plan is to keep you as close as possible, even if you think I’msuffocating or controlling, or overprotective. I don’t care. I’m responsible for your safety, after all.”
“You’re a mess, Dion.”
“I don’t deny it. You are too.”
I nodded. By now, my tendril-friend had circled my waist and was vibrating from within—or purring. Dion canted his head as he observed his magical conjuring, and he smirked—but still didn’t say anything. So it was his doing! But if I was honest, it came as a relief to know that his power wasn’t developing a level of sentience. “Luckily, this isn’t a competition of who’s the bigger mess,” I said, trying to lighten the mood.
Dion chuckled lightly, but didn’t answer my attempted joke. Instead, he picked up the original topic again. “So because of that, I would consider the Rite if it’s something you truly want. Even if it means I have to deal with your constant complaints.”
Somehow, the mood around us changed from serious to heavy. On a whim, I got up and walked the two steps to Dion. His magic didn’t stop me but moved with me, humming louder the closer I got. As if he’d anticipated my move, Dion’s arms reached out to ease me onto his lap, and he wrapped his arms around me. The tendril gently uncurled from my waist and coiled around both of us instead. Even though I’d discovered that he controlled his powers and not the other way around, I wondered how much of this act had been a completely conscious choice.
“I’ll think about it,” I said, hiding my face in the crook of his neck, breathing in deeply. My back still hurt, but I’dtake the discomfort any day if it meant I could indulge in his scent and provide some peace in return.
“Of course. I’ll respect your decision if you accept that you won’t get rid of me easily either way.”
“Is that supposed to be a threat?”
Dion’s answer was soft, and he rested his chin gently on top of my head. “That’s for me to know and for you to find out.”
I grumbled something inaudible against his skin, and he tugged me closer. “Thanks Dion. I prefer talking to the reasonable you over arguing all the time.”
The only thing Dion did as an answer was to dip his head. His magic and his whole presence wrapped around me like a thick blanket of safety, and my eyes grew heavy. Absentmindedly, I scratched my collarbone before we both sank into a comfortable silence.
After our talk, Nayana fell asleep on my lap, and I let her nap for half an hour before picking her up and getting us both back on the horse. She didn’t even stir, and I somehow managed to tuck her safely into my arms. Also, I withdrew my magic. Thinking about it amused me. When it first happened, I’d been surprised to see my tendrils coiled around Nayana—most of the time, I hadn’t even noticed that I’d been conjuring them. Since she’d never objected, I allowed myself to have some fun and actively continued to engulf her with my magic. Couldn’t say that I hated having her in some kind of restraints—it always felt safer when I knew I could whisk her out of dangerin seconds. Nayana was right about one thing after all—I did prefer to have a certain level of control over everything around me.
The fear as I’d witnessed the tail of the Wailos crashing into her back had been almost unbearable, and the sound she’d made on impact would haunt my nightmares for a long time.
But in the end, the whole situation made me see one thing clearly. If she wanted the Rite, I wouldn’t fight it. The merit of keeping Nayana safe weighed ten times more than the fact that she’d soon hate me.
Just a few more days and we’d arrive in Amalach. It felt like we were living on borrowed time. After our conversation, my gut told me it was likely Nayana would probably opt for the binding.
I scoffed as I argued with fate and circumstance, persisting in throwing this tiny woman my way. I’d tried so hard to keep my distance, but I’d failed spectacularly.
Finally, we arrived at the village where we were supposed to meet the others, and I pulled myself out of my brooding. All that wallowing wasn’t me, and I hated how moody I’d become these past few months. Often, regaining my indifference was all I wanted, but deep down, I knew that I’d never be the person I once was. Antas’ plan had worked, and if I’d known of his scheming beforehand, I would have simply refused to engage in this insanity.
In the end, should Naya decide in favor of the Rite, she would have to live with the consequences, just like me. I’d warned her often enough.