Page 119 of The Freedom You Seek
“Ah yes, he’s good at that. Sometimes, I hate how reasonable he sounds, no matter what the topic.” Dion grinned, dimples on full display, and from the way they highlighted his lips, my mind wandered back to our kiss. Oh no, that was not a memory I wanted to indulge in ever again.
I smiled back, trying my best not to be distracted by his stupidly handsome face and the memory of how close we’d been for a brief moment on the night of Samhain. “Yes. He nudged me to talk to you in earnest. Because it’s not only my decision, but yours as well. And since you’re normally the opposite of an open book about what’s going on in your mind, I wanted to ask you directly for your opinion.”
Dion closed his eyes for a moment, as if he was sorting his thoughts. I was pretty sure that whatever reasons he had for being reluctant about the Rite involved some secrets he was unwilling to share, which made the entire conversation even harder for him. I wished he could trust me enough to open up to me completely.
“On a purely rational level, there are only merits.” Dion opened his eyes again and fixed them on me. “But I’m sure you are aware of that too.”
“Let’s pretend I’m not.”
“Of course. Right now, as unbonded Wielder and Amplifier, it’s often like it was in the last fight. It’s my duty to offer you protection in exchange for what you give to me, but in reality, it often makes no difference, except there’s a higher level of danger involved.”
“Yes, I understand that. Even better after seeing you struggle to conjure your blade.”
“I didn’t struggle.” Dion narrowed his eyes.
To avoid derailing the serious discussion, I simply nodded—it was highly unlikely Dion would admit that he’d had problems earlier. His confirmation that he had to adjust his style was already more of an explanation than I’d thought he’d give me.
“So, binding a Wielder and an Amplifier together helps with this particular problem because from everything I’ve read, there’s an enormous difference between unbound and bound. At the moment, I’m pulling from your Potential as it is to me. It’s different for a bound duo because the Amplifier’s Potential actually does what their name implies—It amplifies instead of just adding, which multipliesa Wielder’s power. And, of course, no one else can use the Amplifier’s Potential. If we were facing a hostile Wielder now, I’d flee with you in a heartbeat, no matter what the circumstances. You have a predisposition to all elements, so any unbound Wielder could take from you and potentially drain you. So yes, even if you see the exclusivity as a prison, it’s also protection from enemies. The greatest sacrifices generally result in the biggest rewards, and that’s also true in this case.”
“What do you mean bydraining me? Like, take all my Potential and leave me dry?”
Dion nodded, and I dwelled on that. I’d never considered that possibility, and it scared me to think about it. “Yes. And it could kill you. Just as a Wielder has his unique amount of magical energy, each Amplifier’s Potential has its own depth. We’ll have yet to find out how deep yours is running, and rather sooner than later, so we’ll be on the safe side. I think I could have pulled a lot more in the last fight, but I didn’t want to risk you.”
“Shit.”
One of Dion’s dark tendrils sneaked toward me, nudging my foot before curling around my ankle, humming with satisfaction. I looked over at Dion with a raised eyebrow, then back down at the purring black ringlet, unable to fully hide my amusement. His eyes followed my motion, and when he spotted the black strand, he frowned, then shrugged. I still had no idea if he was conjuring his little friends intentionally, but we had more important topics to talk about, so I internally shruggedas well and accepted that he was seeking me out with his magic. Dion also continued our conversation as if nothing had happened.
“Yes. So, on a rational level, of course, I support the idea of doing the Rite and becoming bound.”
“There’s a but coming.”
“Of course there is. As much as I would like to be someone who is led only by rationality, I’m afraid I’m not. But neither are you.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. “True. You’re at the other end of the spectrum.”
Dion just shrugged in dismissal. He knew we had more important things to cover and needed to stay close to the discussion at hand. “Anyway, there are personal and circumstantial elements to consider as well.”
“Start with the circumstantial elements.”
“They mix with the personal, but I’ll try my best.”
Nodding, I shifted on my rock, trying to get more comfortable. My pet tendril slowly curled higher, and its tip rested on my thigh. Without thinking about it, I gently placed my hand on top of the black strand, and it nudged my fingers with its tip. So far, this conversation was going a lot better than I’d dared to hope.
“One big con is that if we go through with it, you’ll be caught up in the whole treason affair, more than at the moment where you are merely an involved bystander.” Dion held my gaze. “Then, of course, there’s the whole finality of the decision. There’s no way out of it, no way to break such a binding. It also means there will be a level of proximity between us forever. This doesn’t mean thata bound duo is glued together at the hip, but normally, Wielder and Amplifier are never very far apart.”
“That’s the part I’m struggling with.”
“I know. I mean, I don’t think I’d ever be tired of knowing that you’re close to me, but I can see how that’s a problem for someone who stabbed their fiancé to escape marriage.”
“I stabbed him so he wouldn’t rape me.” I knew under every other circumstance, his casual remark would have catapulted me back to the past, but now I dwelled more on what he’d said so casually before making his comment about Jelric. Instead, my breath had caught for a completely different reason, and I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that he’d basically told me he wouldn’t mind being around me until the very end.
Dion smiled at me as he nodded. “The personal reasons, well, they’re the hardest to talk about. And that’s a reason in itself. I’m not used to opening up to anyone.”
“Who could have known?”
Dion purred, “I know. I hide it well.” We shared a smile, then he went on. “There are so many things I neither want to talk about nor burden you with, or both.”
“Give me one, and I’ll tell you if it’s a burden. I can take a lot more than you give me credit for.”