Page 106 of The Freedom You Seek
His scent engulfed me, reminding me of fresh rainfall in an evergreen forest, and his taste was just as exquisite. I never thought darkness could have an aroma, but if I had to describe what Dion tasted like, it would be just that. Like shadows, roasted hazelnut, and rich, dark chocolate, but with a sweetness pulling me in. One I couldn’t get enough of.
We explored each other, our lips and tongues joined in an ancient dance that slowly morphed into a hungrier version of itself.
By now, Dion had pulled me as close as humanly possible without crushing me, and I was held captive in his embrace, with the tree still in my back. His arms were banded around my waist, but as the kiss deepened, he wrapped my hair around one of his fists and pulled on it like a leash, tilting my head so his lips could explore mine even deeper. For once, his attempt to control me didn’t make me angry, but resulted in a million tingles erupting across my skin. I was wax in his hands.
My own arms embraced him too, I was holding on to him as if my life depended on it. Dion was the only thing keeping me upright at this very moment, and he’d become the focal point of my entire existence. Our kiss resonated everywhere within me, especially in my core, where energy pooled together and filled me with an agitation I’d never experienced with any of the men I’d kissed before.
I surrendered full control over to Dion without even a fight. He had me completely caged in, holding my body and soul hostage as he commanded my head by claiming ownership of my hair. His other hand was splayed across my back, holding me like the possessive bastard he was.
And I couldn’t do anything else but yield completely to the force of nature that was Dion—and I was enjoying it.
But then our kiss ended abruptly. As Dion let go and unwrapped my hair from his grip, I took some deep breaths—something as trivial asairhad been too unimportant during our worlds-shattering kiss.
I kept my eyes closed because I was not willing to face reality just yet, so I only opened them when he let go of me fully and stepped away from me. I instantly missed his warmth, and I dreaded the moment when his scent and taste would fade into nothingness.
It took me a moment to register that he was speaking.
“And even this changesnothingabout what I’ve said, Jama. Keep that in mind. Something like this willneverhappen again.”
His reminder hit me hard, but I kept a straight—albeit flushed—face. Smoothing down my hair, I simply nodded. “As if I want a repeat or asked for a kiss in the first place, Dion. It was uncalled for.” Inwardly, I cringed. Within moments, he’d obliterated the bliss he’d taken me to, and all I wanted to do was hurt him back, petty as it might have been. “If you ever try something like that again, I’ll use my dagger. No, I’ll useyourdagger, as it’s been quite the successful move against predators who thought they could prey on me before.”
“Good, then it’s settled. And now come, we’re going back to find the others.”
It wasn’t until I followed Dion through the night toward the fires of Samhain that I understood what he’d intended. Because he knew me all too well, he’d utilized the unexpected kiss as a means to silence me and put an end to our discussion, understanding I’d rather face my late fiancé once more than engage in a conversation about the kiss or the talk preceding it. Now, the topic and all the lingering possibilities concerning us were just as dead as Jelric.
The realization soothed and pained me at the same time, but I didn’t allow myself to dwell on it. After all, Dion projected the impression that he’d already left the last minutes behind him, appearing as smug and infuriating as usual.
A bit later, I found myself sitting on a bale of hay next to Antas. Everyone else had disappeared to gods-know-where. Good for them.
I clutched a bottle of disgusting alcohol I’d stolen from Fig. Normally, I didn’t drink—and neither did he—but so much had happened today. So what if I tried to seek sweet oblivion for once?
Antas was silent as I watched the fire and drank a generous sip. As I swallowed the burning liquid, the flavor reminded me of rotten elderberries drenched in acid, andit chased away the delicious taste, whose origin I refused to think about and tried to forget.
“I wonder, Antas—is my talent to amplify also suppressed by alcohol?”
“It should not be. It is the Wielder who have a vice that is able to lock their magic temporarily.”
“Apart from that hematite I heard before, right?”
Antas nodded. “Yes, that affects every Wielder.”
“What about me?”
“To a certain degree it may affect you as well, but there are many layers to it. To explain everything would be too much for the here and now.”
I nodded and focused on the fire again—the one in front of me and the liquid one in my hand. I liked Antas, with his entirely no-nonsense demeanor. He was never speaking unnecessarily, and although he rarely smiled, he was always level-headed and friendly. It made me wonder if he or Dion was considered the black sheep of the family. Antas was everything I wished my father would have been. Supportive and reliable without trying to push me somewhere I didn’t want to go. “May I ask you for your opinion on something?”
“Of course, Nayana.”
“I can’t stop pondering whether or not to consider the Rite of Binding.”
“You ponder if you should consider it? Sounds like a waste of mental energy to me.”
“No, more like I’m contemplating whether I should put my convictions aside and agree to it. Don’t get me wrong,no one is trying to pressure me. I just can’t get it out of my head.”
“I see.” Looking into the fire too, Antas wore a thoughtful expression as I waited patiently for him to continue.
“I think it is a good thing that you are thinking about it. I know this connection must seem like a cage to you, but it is not intended as such. If it were, why would free will be so important?”