Page 73 of The Freedom You Seek

I just grunted and drank another swig, unwilling to address anything involving my fake wife. “Fuck all of that. Fuck her.” Shit, if I was correct, my voice was already slightly slurring, proving once again that I had zero alcohol tolerance.

“By Noelk’s balls, yes, fuck them bitches!” Rufos grinned. “And by the way, the impolite bastard with the most beautiful smile you can find in Kalcas is Alby. Since you carry coins and I like you, feel free to join our game. Well, if you tell us your name that is.”

“Timenth.” Luckily, I was still sober enough to use my fake name.

And just like that, I was included in the game.

Only five rounds of Gods and Godlings later, and I was more than just a little drunk. The strong schnapps wentdown smoothly, so the longer I drank, the less inclined I was to stop, and I had to admit that the alcohol was starting to affect me. Not only was the constant humming in my blood silenced, which was the telltale sign of my magic dampening, but my success in the card game also waned. I didn’t care about either, even though sober me would have been mortified that I’d confused Kalag,thegod of the pantheon—and the one all soldiers worshiped—with Pawon, the minor godling of bovine health. Normally, I avoided both limiting my power and embarrassing myself at all costs, but as I mentioned before, I didn’t fucking care.

The more I drank, the more I became the laughingstock for my company, another thing I didn’t care about. I was drunkandangryandhad lost almost all my moneyandbriefly wondered what everyone who knew me would think if they could see me like this. Well that, and I asked myself where in Kalcas I could make a donation to Pawon at this time of night. It seemed like a good idea and the right thing to do. When I voiced this question, the whole table roared with laughter, but no one could answer my inquiry. What a useless bunch. They could fuck off too. Just like Jama. Beautiful Nayana, who held the power to unravel me so easily.

With narrowed eyes, I made up my mind to announce something extremely important to my fellow card gamers. “She threw me out, but I swear to Pawon, I won’t accept that!”

Alby nudged Cutter. “Told you he’s in trouble with a woman.”

My eyes zeroed in on them, and I spotted a coin change hands while Lor and Rufos hooted and hollered.

I still didn’t care, instead I emptied the rest of my bottle in one go and got up. “This is my cue!” It didn’t even make sense in my own head, but my new gaming friends laughed nonetheless. I swayed as the world spun around me, and it took an eternity to reach the stairs.

I’d lost all of my elegance to the schnapps, and as I climbed the stairs, I nearly tripped at the top when the last stepsimply wasn’t there, even though I could see it with my own eyes. Having conquered the ascend, at last, I reached our door and ripped it open. “You’ll talk to me, Jama. Do you hear me?” I slurred and shut the door behind me. “Get up and talk to me, coward!” I stilled as the room stayed eerily silent. Nayana was nowhere to be seen.

An overwhelming sense of dread broke through my alcohol-induced befuddlement and consumed me as a troubling suspicion crept into my mind, leading me to meticulously search every possible hiding place, from under the bed to inside the wardrobe and the dark corners of the room. Even in my intoxicated state, it didn’t take me long to grasp that Nayana had indeed vanished.

Some people claimed they’d sober up instantly in a situation of urgency. I called that bullshit, or at least I was none of them. My thoughts were sluggish as I tried to grasp what could have happened. There was no sign of a struggle. Maybe she was with one of the others? Was she inThain’sroom? The thought alone had my temper flareup hot and high as a red film slid across my vision, and I was about to storm into my nemesis’ room. If she was with him, I’d finally kill him. Maybe even if she wasn’t. I didn’t need to be sober or have magic at my disposal to obliterate Thain easily—that much was certain. Fucking Courtling. I hoped they’d all die gruesome deaths one day.

I was almost out the door when I registered the open window. I frowned and realized I couldn’t spot Nayana’s bag. Mine was still propped against the wall, but it had definitely been fuller earlier—it looked as if someone had raided it. “Fuck,” I cursed, and deep inside, reality sank in. She had done what I’d feared from the beginning and ran away. And why? I didn’t even know, for fuck’s sake. “Fuck!” I repeated, snarling. Nayana was gone, and stupid me was drunk and powerless.

My intoxicated state didn’t help to suppress the rising panic crawling up my spine. I couldn’t think straight. Despite my harsh words from earlier, I had to find her. Was this my fault because I’d told her I wouldn’t care if she got caught? Damn, I had to get my head together.

Slower than usual, I made a plan. Nayana didn’t know it, but I possessed a way to find her even without magic, and it was the only consolidation I got. I just hoped she hadn’t been attacked or had already been taken.

My magic had been dampened to almost nothing, thanks to me losing all reason earlier. If I could, I’d go back and kick my past self in the balls as hard as possible for sabotaging myself. One thing was clear, traveling by shadowwalking was out of the question.

How I’d exited the inn and arrived at the stables escaped my memory. One moment, I’d been in our bedroom freaking out, the next I mounted my horse, not even bothering to saddle him. Luckily, we’d never taught Nayana how to ride on her own, so it was most likely she’d left on foot. Which meant I was faster than her. She could try to flee, but I’dneverlose her trail. Not as long as she carried a piece of my magic with her, at least. In a hunt, I’d always win.Mhh, hunt.

The cool air didn’t help to clear my inebriated and anxious mind, but tracing the dagger I’d given Nayana wasn’t too difficult. She would be furious if she found out I hadn’t told her about my ability to track her blade, but at the same time, I was extremely pissed off at her too.

All evidence indicated that she’d left the city—however she’d done that, since all the gates were heavily guarded. Feeling cocky, I pulled at my magic to summon darkness, but I froze in horror when I failed until I remembered the whole problem once more.Oh yes, shit, drunk.

I glowered at the guards as I approached, wanting nothing more than to burst through the checkpoint because I had no time to lose. Only the prospect of ending up in the city’s dungeons stopped me from doing something stupid.

Slowing down, I greeted the guards, and even I could hear that not a lot of what I said made any real sense. Funnily, the soldiers didn’t seem all that interested in a drunken man rambling on about his runaway wife, and a minute later, they allowed me to pass. Curious, really curious. But this wasn’t a mystery I’d solve now, if itwasone at all, or I just thought it was. I had something moreimportant to do. I was on a hunt, and no matter what the circumstances, I’d always catch my prey.

After half an hour, I felt my magic calling to me like a beacon—I was getting close. So I dismounted and tied my horse as safely as possible to a sturdy tree while promising him to be back soon.

My nostrils flared because my prey was so close I could smell its herbal, citrusy scent, and I tried my best to remain silent. Usually, soundlessly prowling was second nature to me, but the world was still blurry, the ground uneven, and my senses slightly unreliable.

When I detected my tiny prey disappearing behind a giant fallen tree log at the edge of a small clearing, my lips curled up in triumph. There she was. And she had seen me, but it was too late for her to escape. I’d spotted my prey, and I wasn’t going to let it escape again.

I stumbled only once—but I could have sworn that the damned root had just appeared out of nowhere—as I stalked towards where Nayana had vanished. To my surprise, she was still crouching behind the fallen tree as if she hadn’t figured out that I’d sighted her. Our eyes locked as I loomed over her shivering form. She hadn’t even drawn her dagger to defend herself against the dangerous predator coming for her. Instead, she was staring at me with those large cerulean orbs as she trembled like a leaf, andanger bubbled beneath my surface. If I’d been anyone else, she would have been screwed, for she was utterly helpless.

“Look what I’ve found. I never knew that the weeds in this forest were poisonous. Also, what the fuck were you thinking, gallivanting through the night alone and not even holding your blade?”

Nayana’s eyes, until now wide and afraid, narrowed. She lifted herself up and tried to get some distance from me, but I crowded her until her back was flush against a tree on the side of the clearing.

“Are youdrunk, Dion?”

Her words took me by surprise. I’d expected her to jump down my throat, yell at me, or something else, but not this.