Page 23 of The Freedom You Seek

“Why do you call me that?”

“Call you what?”

“Jama. That isn’t my name.”

A slight movement followed by a hiss of pain told me she’d tried to nod and had forgotten her neck injuries. Idiotic woman. She’d have me thinking she actuallylikedpain in no time. Maybe she did. I huffed and quickly shut down that trail of thought as it was leading me into dangerous waters. No way did I want to think of the tiny woman in a context involving intimacy and punishments.

“Maybe one day you’ll earn that answer. Now shut up and sleep, or I’ll silence you myself.” I’d gag her without a second thought if it meant that this conversation was over.

“Jerk.”

“I’ve been called a lot worse, and all of it was true.”

“That’s nothing to be proud of.”

“Sleep. If I have to repeat myself, I’ll gag you.”

My tone made clear that this wasn’t an empty threat, and I was slightly disappointed when she only responded with a sharp exhale before shutting up.

I cursed myself. Despite only spending such a short time with tiny Jama, I wasn’t able to stop my thoughts from wandering into dangerous territory.

I could lie to myself as much as I wanted to, but even in her filthy, smelly state, there was some weird attraction toher building up inside of me. Not that she—or gods forbid the others—could ever know or that I’d act on it. That would be a catastrophe that should never, ever be allowed to happen.

Jama was fully relaxed in my arms. Her breathing was even and deep, all signs indicating that she’d fallen asleep. I pulled her closer until she was safely tucked into my chest, and I made sure the cloak was comfortably wrapped around her without constricting her throat.

I sighed, instantly feeling the bitter taste of regret for allowing myself such a weakness.

I spent the next few hours alone with my thoughts, which I usually enjoyed, but this time I annoyed myself. Jama was sleeping peacefully, mostly undisturbed, because I kept her steady, minimizing any strain on her body.

Dusk was settling in, and we were still several hours away from the caves. The forest surrounded us, and the closest settlement was quite far away. We’d be safe from straying villagers if we’d find a decent place for a campsite somewhere deeper in the protection of the forest.

I directed my horse off the small path and into the trees, searching for the best place to stay overnight, one that posed the least risk to us.

In the end, I found what I’d been searching for—a small clearing next to a tiny, clear lake. If it came to an ambush,I could be sure no one was able to attack from behind, thanks to the body of water. The surrounding canopy was dense, and the only element I didn’t like was an old campfire in the area. It’d been cold for several days from the looks of it, so I made up my mind that we’d risk it and stay the night.

I halted my horse and cautiously created some space between Jama and me to dismount securely. She grumbled in her sleep, and I chuckled.

Carefully, I descended from horseback without letting her drop, which wasn’t as easy as it sounded, especially since my mount decided to act up. I scowled at the animal after she and I had almost landed in the dirt because of his escapades. The handler I’d gotten him from had never told me his name. Perhaps I should change his nameless condition if only to be able to chastise the brute better. Luckily, I’d been able to avoid falling or dropping Jama, and I was glad no one had seen my mishap.

“Elegant.” A small, melodic laugh came from a drowsy Jama, and I growled at her, which somehow made her laugh harder.

“Shut up.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, I’m glad I witnessed this.”

“And why is that so?”

“Because it shows that under all that tough behavior, under your sulking and scowling, there’s something normal, something human, that sometimes stumbles like everyone else.”

“You’re quick in your assessment, murderous little Jama.”

She flinched when I called her murderous. I’d hoped to get a reaction, to assess how she felt about what had happened in her hometown, even if it was shitty of me to remind her of the whole ordeal so soon.

“Ass.” The little thing muttered the insult under her breath, and her skin was tinged slightly green.

So, I’d indeed struck a nerve.Interesting.Instead of an answer, I gave her a sarcastic little bow and unrolled a bedroll.

“I need some privacy.” Her voice reached my ears, and I canted my head in question. She sighed as if I was stupid, and I changed the angle of my head from one side to the other, squinting at her. If she tried to annoy me, she was succeeding.