Page 76 of The Freedom You Seek

“Dion.” At this moment, kissing him was all I could think about, no matter how awful the consequences would be. I wished to lose myself in him, and from theway he gently smiled at me—the way he still drew closer to me—it was what he wanted too.

Only the width of a breath—there wasn’t any more distance between us when Dion suddenly straightened. He retreated a step, releasing me from his embrace, only to grab me by the shoulders. I failed to hide my utter confusion as Dion’s expression morphed into his usual smugness before reverting back to disbelief. “You have no idea what you did in that fight, do you?”

“I—I threw a stone.” Confusion must’ve been radiating from me, and I was still stunned that Dion had withdrawn. I’d been so sure he’d wanted to kiss me, and I blushed with embarrassment. I could only hope he would accredit my flushed state to something else. Doubting my own sanity, a strange mixture of disappointment and embarrassment battled within me. Dion, on the other hand, seemed unaffected. Maybe I had just misinterpreted the whole situation. “A stone that wasn’t even very effective.”

To be honest, I didn’t even know if we were still friends after our fight earlier, so what had come over me to believe for only a moment that he wanted to kiss me? Plus, kissing him would equal madness, and I told myself I actually didn’t yearn for that kind of complication in my life. So why couldn’t I stop thinking about it?

Dion laughed softly and smoothed out my hair, growling when he realized my scalp had started to bleed in some places, thanks to the creature. “We need to clean your wounds.”

I shook my head, earning another displeased growl.

“First, you’ll explain what you think I did.” As long as I stuck to the facts, I didn’t have to unwrap any of the emotions that battled for my attention, neither the horror of what had happened with the monster nor the almost-kiss. Gods, I needed to stop thinking about that stupid moment. And I had to get some distance, that would surely help to clear my head. I’d allow myself only another minute of closeness, and then I’d step back to reclaim my personal space from the confusing man.

Dion’s expression turned into a conflicted one. The happiness that was so unusual for him was still underlying, but it was also tinged with worry.

“Well—” he said, and realization hit. He was fighting to find the right words, something that I’d never witnessed before. “Nayana, you’re a darkness Amplifier after all.” His arms pulled me back closer in a tight embrace that stole my breath away.

My mind blanked in disbelief, and I forgot about my plan to extract myself to reclaim my space and sanity. For unknown reasons, his simple words filled my heart with a sense of hope and wonder. Could it really be true? No, hoping would only lead to disappointment and hurt.

“It can’t be. There was no pulling. No dizziness. No exhaustion. And I didn’t have to fight against blackout.”

In all honesty, I wasn’t sure how I thought about having any predisposition after what had happened earlier today. Despite everything that had occurred in the last few minutes, I hadn’t forgotten why I’d left the men in the first place.

But I couldn’t help but go through all kinds of emotions when I noticed how much joy radiated from Dion. I’d never seen him like that before. Even when he glowered and frowned as if he hated something I’d just said, there was so much undeniable happiness hidden in his expression. It suited him so well, and I wanted to see it more often.

“I’m going to kill Thain one of these days. You should’ve told me how unpleasant it is for you to train with him. But you don’t have to work with him anymore. It’ll be us. No way I’ll allow anything else.” His lips curled into a very smug and satisfied grin. Once more, he reminded me of a cat that had stolen from the pantry.

“Someone is bossy again.” My words must have surprised Dion, and I gained a minuscule bit of space between us, which I intended to use to slip out of his arms. But well, he caught me back in the blink of an eye. My eyebrow rose, and despite my teasing tone, there was a warning in my voice. “You’re so incredibly lucky we both just escaped certain death, otherwise I’d rip your head off for yet another attempt to force your decisions on me.”

The very moment I uttered those words, the sudden realization that we’d indeed survived a nightmare monster hit me like a boulder, but there was also the mystery of why the creature had appeared in the first place and how to explain this occurrence. However, the awareness that we could have easily died dominated my spiraling thoughts. I started to shake, first only lightly, then heavier as the last hours caught up with me.

Dion held me tightly, and he was so near I could feel every single hard muscle in his chest. His warmth enveloped me as my body trembled.

The more I shook, the closer Dion’s arms tugged me, the tighter he clutched me as if he was trying to prevent that I’d fall apart. “Hey, hey, Naya. Don’t be scared. I promise you I won’t force you to perform the Rite of Binding. Don’t worry about that.”

Under normal circumstances, his affirmation would’ve been exactly what I’d wanted to hear. But it wasn’t enough. “The monster…and that weird tear…what was that? I almost got eaten. I thought…I thought we were going to die.”

“Shh, Naya. It’s over, and we’ve survived.” Dion shifted his position, and my feet left the ground. He picked me up, one arm under my knees, one behind my back, carrying me. “Let’s return to the inn. I’ll take care of your wounds, and you’ll take a bath. If you still want to talk before sleeping, we’ll do that. Or we’ll chat tomorrow.”

His voice was calming, and I finally stopped shaking, which paved the way for a bone-deep fatigue. “I can walk by myself.” Lies. Actually, I was doubtful I could stay steady on my feet without support.

“Don’t worry about that. I left our horse nearby. We’ll be back in Kalcas in no time.” Dion smiled down at me. But at one point, some sadness had crept into his eyes.

I didn’t object anymore as I slowly drifted to sleep in the safety of his arms. But before I was truly out, Dion’s sadness-filled eyes reminded me of something big, something important. I’d been so horrible to himearlier, and I didn’t deserve even an ounce of the kindness he treated me with. I was barely awake, yet I mumbled from the bottom of my soul in an attempt to mend what I’d earlier torn down. “Dion, please…I apologize. What I said at the inn was horrible. Please forgive me.”

I couldn’t hear an answer. I was unsure if it was because he didn’t reply or because I’d drifted off before he spoke. So, when I eventually fell asleep, my heart remained heavy.

Some weird noises close to my ear woke me up. Slowly, my senses returned to me, and to my surprise, it had been Dion who’d disturbed my sleep. He was snoring. It was the first time I’d heard him snore, and I wondered if it was an after-effect of the schnapps he’d drunk yesterday. A very girlish giggle slipped out of my mouth before I could suppress it.

When I tried to leave the bed, I quickly found out that it was impossible. Dion must have grabbed me during the night. I was pinned against his muscular chest, one arm banding around my waist, one snaking under my neck, and his hands splayed across my back, holding me tight. I was engulfed by petrichor, evergreens, and warmth. How he’d managed to haul me across the gap to his bed was a mysteryto me. Whenever I tried to free myself, his unyielding grasp tightened. So I gave up fighting and stayed—wrapped up by a stupidly attractive man with a vise-like grip.

It’d been a bad idea to run away for many reasons. First of all, it’d been just plain stupid, and if I’d thought straight for just a moment, I’d have known I should’ve tried to talk to the men. They’d never given me a reason to mistrust them so far. Second, there was a real chance the overprotective bastard clutching me as if both our lives depended on it would become even more controlling.

The thought triggered the memories of last night—all of them—and a small whimper escaped me. So much had happened, but what affected me the most was my bad conscience. I’d been horrible to Dion, and he’d gotten drunk in return, which had compromised his magic. Everything else—the monster, the almost-kiss, the whole development of my predisposition—it just paled in comparison to how malicious I’d been.

Dion’s long, black hair had escaped the leather strap that usually kept it bound together, leaving it tousled and covering half of his face, and my fingers itched to brush it back so his gorgeous features weren’t hidden anymore. As soon as that thought hit, I scowled at myself. I should stop thinking of him as beautiful—even if it was the truth—because I’d fear for my sanity if I didn’t get myself under control.

“Wake up, Dion.” I squirmed in his embrace and would do so until he woke up. I’d never been the most patient person in Ivreia when waiting to clear the air after anargument with a friend, so I didn’t have the restraint to stay still any longer—I wanted to make amends.