Page 26 of The Freedom You Seek

Finally, Jama fell asleep. I visibly relaxed and threw another log of wood into the fire. This woman turned out to be exactly the nuisance I’d thought she would be. She was stubborn and unfiltered, and I would bet my horse that her behavior had led her into trouble countless times before.

I’d accept none of her attitude. If it were my call, I’d bring her somewhere safe and hide her until the others and I had figured out what in the two worlds her role was in all this and what we were supposed to do with her.

This specific question plagued me deep into the night. In a way, we weren’t any better off than a weekago. On the contrary, not only did we have no idea how to proceed, but also had dead weight in the form of a tiny, stubborn female to take with us—that kind of dead weight that already consumed far too many of my thoughts.

If we couldn’t leave her behind somewhere, maybe I’d suggest splitting up to search for clues on my own. It hadn’t even been a full day in her presence, and I already longed for space.

Sighing, I stared into the dancing fire. A nasty little voice in my head whispered that nothing could please me, and I scoffed. True, I’d sometimes wished to leave home, but now that I had some distance, it also didn’t please me. Once again, I annoyed myself to no end.

Hopefully, it would help to reunite with the other four. If they knew how much I was depending on them lately, they’d surely tease me relentlessly. However, I was confident that at least Antas knew exactly what my mental state was. The bastard.

Jama turned around and curled up into a tight ball, and my thoughts shifted away from the gloomy place they’d been at. A small whimper fell from her lips, and it was obvious that she was having a nightmare.

I nodded to myself. Honestly, I was surprised at how well she kept herself together, apart from some blank stares into the distance from time to time. Despite knowing only half of her story, it was clear to me she’d gone through the fiery pits of the underworld. I’d seen grown males break for less.

Silently, I got up from my spot and stalked over to her. Because her hair was still wet, I found myself crouchingdown to adjust the hood of her cloak to cover the exposed strands and maximize her warmth, making sure not to disturb her sleep.

If I were honest with myself, I had to admit I’d been correct with my earliest assumptions. Without the blood and dirt covering her and without her constant glowering directed at me, she was stunning. Even minor imperfections, like the small scar on her left temple, added to her appeal.

My eyes fixed on the tiny blemish, and I studied the imperfection, wondering how she’d gotten it. Had she been clumsy, or had someone else done it to her? She was difficult enough to attract trouble, so I wouldn’t exclude the possibility, as much as I loathed the thought.

Hopefully, the waste of space who had tried to rape her was suffering in his afterlife. A simple death by a throat cut open was far too merciful. If I’d been granted the chance to spend some time with him, I would have shown the man what real torment was.

I was still crouching next to Jama, watching her like a creep, when she turned around another time. I’d just convinced myself to get up when her sleeping form stirred and grabbed my hand.Shit.She held it tightly as if her entire existence relied on holding on to me. I tried to free myself, but she frowned as soon as I threatened to disentangle myself from her.

I sighed deeply and sat down next to her bedroll. Even if I wanted to have nothing to do with her, I could at least offer her this small comfort and prove to myself that I still had some kindness left in me.

I shouldn’t care. Really, I shouldn’t. Caring was a weakness, and weaknesses led to death. And of course, when I wasfinallyconvinced that I was well past giving a damn about anything anymore, the fates threw something like this tiny woman at me. I wanted to rage.

Yet, for the time being, I sat next to Nayana, allowing her to hold my hand. Hers was so small and warm, and I smiled before I was able to stop myself. Snarling at myself and realizing that I still gawked at her like a moron, I turned my head away, looking anywhere else but at her.

It turned out to be a long but uneventful night. Jama didn’t let go of my hand, and I was only able to free myself when the sun showed itself on the horizon.

I rose to my feet and dusted off my pants before gently shaking her shoulder. “Hey, Jama. Wake up. We have to break camp and get back on the road.”

A few of her adorable sleepy sounds teased a chuckled from me. “You can sleep some more on the horse.” The night of brooding had softened me, and I’d better make sure this wouldn’t become the new normal.

Jama made another cute noise, turned around, and slept on. I sighed and reached for her again, this time shaking her harder. My eyes darkened. The bruises on her neck had turned dark blue and black, and it bothered me to see her pale skin painted with marks of pain.

“Gods, you’re relentless.” After some grumbling, Nayana finally sat up. I observed her and noticed a painful hiss, even though she tried her best to conceal it. Well, she couldn’t know yet that I had exceptional hearing.

“It’ll get better. Hurry up and get ready.” I started to pack my belongings, and five minutes later, I gingerly placed Jama on my horse. Mounting as well, I caged her in between my arms.

She actually granted me some more time of peace and quiet, and I finally silenced my constant spiral of thoughts. But sooner than I liked, I was torn from my reverie when Jama broke the silence. So she’d fully woken up.

“You promised to share the entire story with me once we arrive at the caves, so I won’t bother asking, but there’s one thing I need to know sooner.”

“What is it?”

“I don’t know if I had hallucinations, but I remember a darkness like I’ve never seen before. So thick, and I heard so many screams.” I felt Nayana taking a deep breath. “Or…do you think I saw what will happen to me when I die?”

I inwardly groaned. This was one of the last questions I wanted to answer, but I couldn’t allow her to think that she’d seen beyond the veil of life.

It’d once happened to a comrade-in-arms who had first become delusional, then paranoid before losing himself in a splintered world of his own creation, and although I doubted there was a chance that this would happen to Jama, those thoughts could do more harm to her than some censored form of the truth.

I weighed my options as I decided what to explain and what not. “No, you saw what you’ve seen. There was darkness manifesting in the town square all around you.”

“How? I mean, I was drugged, but I’m pretty sure it was midday. Even if the moon had covered the sun, it wouldn’t have been that dark.”