Page 66 of The Freedom You Seek

I hated that Antas had forced me a few nights earlier to promise to keep my temper in check, and that particular conversation hadn’t been pretty. If anyone else had spoken to me the way he’d done, they wouldn’t have survived the night.

My uncle hadn’t hesitated to use blackmail when I’d refused to swear to stay away from Thain, ignore his provocations, and maintain my composure.

When I’d told him in no uncertain terms where he could stick hisrequest, he’d confronted me with certain truths I was reluctant to acknowledge on the best of days—some of them involving drapes—and despite my efforts to correct some of his misguided notions, he’d eventually worn me down. As a result, he’d pressured me into this promise while assuring me not to intervene further with my personal matters.

Situations like that showed me Antas was indeed a part of this fucked-up family of ours, even though he was hiding it better than everyone else most of the time.

I shot him another dirty look and turned my attention back to the discussion.

In the end, we had a solid plan, and I was confident we’d pull this off undetected. My back cracked as I got up, and I stretched before stalking across the camp to the fire—and to Nayana.

When she spotted me, she smiled. Pushing down the urge to preen—after all, I’d made her smile!—I canted my head at her. “This smells delicious.”

“Done with planning?”

“Yes, we’re going to use a secret tunnel behind the library.”

“That sounds too easy.”

“Ah, make no mistake, this passageway is guarded from the outside, and there’s a high chance we’ll encounter traps.”

“Isn’t there a safer way?”

“Stop worrying, we’ve got it all covered. You’ll see.”

Nayana handed me a bowl filled with enticing smelling game stew. I looked down at the food and then smiled at her. “Thanks for the meal.”

Something I’d said must have confused her because she blinked in surprise, and a thoughtful frown creased her forehead.

“What’s up? Did anyone bother you?” I struggled to suppress a growl as I considered the possibility that someone had done something to upset her.

“No, no one did. But you thanked me. I never knew that this particular word was even an active part of your vocabulary.”

“So you want to tell me I have no manners?”

“Well, that’s what I’ve thought. But maybe they’re just buried deep under all that growling, intimidating, murderous behavior.”

“Point taken.”

“Huh. You giving in like that is also new. Consider me surprised.” Nayana’s grin was contagious. Seeing her face light up because of me was surely one of my favorite views.

Somehow, the thought sobered me, cold dread tightened my throat, and I reminded myself of all the reasons I had to overcome these emotions. “I’d better go eat before the stew gets cold.”

Without waiting for a reply, I left her standing at the kettle, but her confused gaze burned on my back until I was out of sight.

As Kalcas’ city gates came into view, I pulled Nayana’s hood up, making sure all of her blonde locks were securely hidden beneath the dark fabric. She was still wearing my cloak, and seeing her in something that had once belonged to me—something I’d given her—brought me joy.

“Are you done mothering me?” Nayana’s eyes were glued to the horizon, where the city of Kalcas slowly appeared. We’d only been on horseback for two hours after leaving our campsite behind and would soon arrive.

“Just making sure none of that very recognizable hair of yours is sticking out. You’re—after all—awanted woman, Jama.”

“Just as you’re all wanted men. Still, I don’t see anyone else fussing about hiding their faces or hair.”

“There are so many wanted men in the world, but how many wanted women have you heard of? So, hiding your features is a necessary precaution and not up for debate, Jama.” I let out an exaggerated sigh. It wasn’t the first time we’d engaged in this discussion.

Nayana was getting too bold.

Apart from the ambush by Feroy’s men, some random animal attacks, and our tense border crossing, the journey had been uneventful and mostly harmless, which resulted in her feeling too safe. The fact that she was trusting us increased her comfort as well.