Page 10 of The Freedom You Seek
His expecting gaze lingered on me, and I realized he was waiting for an answer. “I’ll be at the fountain tomorrow at noon.” I hated how shaky my voice sounded, and since Jelric didn’t cease to stare at me with a warning glint in his eyes, I felt obliged to add what I believed he wanted to hear. “Betrothed.”
That night, I cried myself to sleep.
The next day started as horrendous as the last one ended. After waking up with my back still on fire, I contemplated visiting Rewi to tell her about my forced betrothal, but I wasn’t too sure if my parents would allow me to leave the house until I had to meet Jelric later.
As if on cue, my mother entered my room, holding a large package as I was pacing back and forth. She smiled at me conspiratorially, curiosity shining in her eyes.
I darted toward her and took the box from her hands, mostly to get rid of her as fast as possible, but she lingered at my door.
“This has just been delivered for you. The servant bringing it was very well dressed. I presume it was sent by your betrothed.”
“I fear so.”
“Nayana, mind your manners!”
“Don’t worry, mother. Father made it abundantly clear yesterday what you both want. Doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to be unhappy as long as that toad Jelric isn’t around.”
“You have to work on your attitude. In a few winters, you’ll laugh at yourself about how much unnecessary resistance you put up, and you’ll be grateful for the advantageous match we’ve bargained for you.”
Slowly counting to three in my mind, I did my best to school my features into a neutral expression. I needed to appear at least indifferent, or else I’d never get my mother off my back. “I think there’s a dress inside. Jelric told me yesterday he’d send me one because he’s ashamed to be seen with me in my usual clothing.”
“Oh how nice of him! Come on, unpack. I’ll help you get dressed. Isn’t it exciting to receive something fancy and expensive, Nayana?”
“I can change by myself,” I said. My already limited patience with my mother ended—I simply shut the door in her face and ignored her shouting my name. I’d have to face the consequences of my actions later, and it was probable my mother would make sure I regretted my tiny act of defiance. But why should I care?—she was convinced I had an attitude problem anyway.
I stared at the box as if it was poisonous, and it took some moments before I gathered the courage to find out what my betrothed considered worthy of being worn in his presence.
With ease, I opened the parcel and was confronted with a heap of fabric that turned out to be my new dress. The material was shiny, and its glaring green color looked tacky to me. I instantly hated the shade, mainly because it reminded me of Jelric’s eyes. A sickly sweet, flowery scent assaulted my senses as if the dress had been drenched in the perfume my least favorite aunt Alba loved to wear, and although the fabric was supple, it felt unpleasant to the touch. I had absolutely no desire to wear this garment.
The package was empty except for the dress. Jelric didn’t include a chemise, shift, or cloak, so I fetched simple white cotton undergarments from my wardrobe.
I sighed, knowing that delaying the inevitable would change nothing about my situation. I slipped out of my nightgown, and then it took me a moment to figure out how the dress in front of me worked. Even without being biased against my betrothal, I was convinced the garment would look horrible.
But the reality was much, much worse than I’d imagined.
After I’d finally succeeded in pulling the green fabric where it belonged, I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Even though I had no real sense of fashion, I could easily figure out why Jelric didn’t include a chemise or slip—the dress wasn’t meant to be worn with one. Unhappily, I fumbled with my layers until the white cotton chemise came free.
The next peek into the mirror revealed the true horror of my betrothed’s present—and taste.
In all honesty, the gown didn’t deserve to be called as such, and I scowled at my reflection. I was dressed in the most indecent piece of daywear I’d ever seen. The dress was tight-fitted with a dangerously low neckline, had no sleeves apart from two tiny straps trying to prevent the worst disaster from happening, and a giant slit on the left side of the almost-too-skintight skirt. I was stunned speechless. Not even the ladies of the night walked around wearing such improper clothes.
I couldn’t deny it: the gown, combined with the choker locked around my neck, made me feel violently ill.
After I’d caught myself and tore my eyes off my reflection, I stood frozen in the middle of my bedroom, wondering if there was anything I’d be able to do that could save me from having to leave the house looking entirely indecent.
Ironically, my only hope left was my mother. Even she should favor my decency over trying to please the horrible King of Merchants and his vile son. So I left my room and searched the house for her. Yes, I was that desperate.
After a quick search, I found her in the kitchen. Her face fell for a second, and her eyes roamed over my attire in barely-veiled shock before she schooled her expression into something carefully neutral.
“Nayana. This dress is—”
“I can’t wear this…this monstrosity. Surely you’ll agree.”
“Why not? You’re just prejudiced because you don’t have it your way for once. So be objective for a moment. It’s such a nice dress, my dove. Have you seen how itaccentuates your figure? Even you have to admit, your betrothed isn’t only extremely generous, but his taste is also—bold.”
“Bold?Mother, I look worse than a harlot!”
“Fallen women can never afford such fine dresses, Nayana. As I’ve told you already, you must give Jelric a chance and keep an open mind. This union is a good thing for you and your future. Learn what pleases your soon-to-be husband, and you’ll have a much easier life.”