Page 43 of The Freedom You Seek
“There’s nothing wrong with me. Just get it over with.” He surely would know that my clipped tone was only false bravado in an attempt to veil the crippling weakness creeping into my bones, but I didn’t care.
Dion hesitated for a few heartbeats before gathering my hair in one hand, holding it together. His fingers brushed over my nape, light as a feather—by accident or design, I couldn’t tell. My breath hitched, and goosebumps erupted on my arms.
The tension slowly transformed into something else I couldn’t place.
This was bad. Where was my indifference? My mental defenses had crumbled the very moment I’d spotted the choker, and I needed to rebuild them as fast as possible.
Shortly after he’d moved my tresses out of the way, cool silver touched my skin and encircled my neck, a barely there touch, almost like a question Dion wanted me to answer. My throat filled with bile as memories of the noose joined all the other painful flashbacks in my mind, and I couldn’t help but let out a small whimper.
Dion was completely still and waited patiently. When I tensed even more—even worse than before—he leaned closer. His voice sounded low and soothing and almost like a caress, and I shuddered as he purred into my ear. “Nayana. I’m telling you again. No one is hurting you. This is protection. You’resafe with me.”
With his breath on my skin, I slowly calmed down. I wasn’t in Credenta. I wasn’t sold to a man I hated, nor was I about to die on the gallows. I was free, and this silver choker ensured I’d stay that way.
Turning my head, I saw Dion in deep concentration, and I realized he was making sure that he didn’t hurt me. It was written on his face, in the way his brows were drawn together in concentration. He dropped my hair, and his thumb stroked little circles on my nape in an attempt to soothe me as I averted my gaze from him again.
“It’s all right.” I had to stifle another shudder. “I’m fine, Dion.” This time, I meant what I told him. Somewhere in the last minute, the affirmations I’d told myself—and the ones that Dion had muttered—had chased away the painful recollections and helped me fully return to reality.
He nodded and carefully closed the choker before busying himself with smoothing my locks with his hands. Wanting to reclaim my distance, I attempted to take a step, but Dion’s left arm snaked around my waist, and he held his right arm out to me. “Your turn.”
“Huh?” My eyebrows drew together in a frown as I tried to figure out what Dion wanted from me. He was too near, and petrichor and evergreens assaulted my senses in thebest way possible. Would it be weird if I moved my head just a little and buried my nose in the crook of his neck?
“The cuff, Naya.”
Dion surprised me by addressing me by my real nickname instead of the one he enjoyed using to irritate me. Quickly, I schooled my expression and allowed my eyes to roam over the wrist cuff. I didn’t trust my voice yet.
The whole situation felt so unreal, and I was completely out of my depths. This was just an act—I knew that—but I couldn’t help myself, it felt oddly intimate, and it confused me.
As I adjusted my stance, Dion pulled me closer to him until my back was flush against his chest, and the heat he radiated was almost searing. I forced myself to keep my breath steady as I cautiously clipped the silver cuff around his wrist and shut the clasp, making sure that I didn’t pinch his skin. “There.”
My cheeks were on fire, there was no denying it. This closeness affected me even if we were just pretending. I had every intention of stepping out of the position we were in, but Dion didn’t let me go. Instead, the arm I just cuffed joined the other one curled around my waist, locking me in and hauling me flush against his chest.
Unable to move, I desperately tried to calm my pounding heart. I reminded myself of what an irritating idiot Dion was, how often I’d fumed over something he’d done, but it did nothing to stop my agitation. Because, if I was honest with myself, the few glimpses he’d allowed me—the ones where I could see behind his mask—had convinced me that there was more to him than just the unlikablepersona he so often displayed. And on top of it—why did he have to be so insanely attractive, and why could he affect me like that anyway? Ugh, I normally wasn’t that shallow!
“You should let me go, Dion.” I was struggling with my self-control, but pride warmed my chest when my voice didn’t crack. Lately, it was even the small wins I had to celebrate.
“First, I have to tell you something, Jama. About this arrangement.”
I craned my neck to get a look at Dion, but I only got a quick glimpse of his expression. His pupils were dilated and almost black, but before I could examine this phenomenon further, he raised his right hand to my chin and, after taking it into his possession, directed my gaze back forward, away from him.
“Just listen.” There was a predatory undertone as he purred his words, and my heart wanted to break out of my chest. “Naya, as long as you wear this, and we’re around people outside of our group, I’ll treat you as society expects from me and say things you’ll consider hurtful—words wounding your pride. I want you to always remember that it isn’t me who thinks so and that you must play along for your own safety. The less you speak, the better.”
My answer was out faster than my brain worked, which had often been a problem of mine. “But—”
“No. Just listen to me, Naya. I would hate to be forced to killevery single personat the border control just because your stubbornness puts you in jeopardy. So think before you act. I’m sure you don’t want a bloodbath to happen.”
“What in the gods’ good names, Dion? You can’t seriously consider murderingeveryone?”
“You better not try me, my little Jama.” Dion’s voice was merely a whisper in my ear, and an icy shiver was running down my spine, only this time, it wasn’t pleasant. “Always remember: I’m not a good person. You’d better keep that in mind and stay as far away from me as possible.”
Whiplash.He was giving me serious whiplash. One moment, I thought I’d figured him out—the next, he showed me how absolutely wrong I was. I gritted my teeth and finally broke free of his hold. Turning around, I faced him.
Dion was standing unnaturally still, like a predator seizing its prey, locking me in place with only his glare. I froze instantly. It was an instinctual reaction, an acknowledgment of danger. My thoughts returned to the time he bit into my shoulder, and I had no idea why that memory came back to me or what to make of it. After all, he wasn’t even remotely playful right now.
“Dion? Are you all right?” I finally dared to ask.
It was as if a spell lifted. The extreme tension left Dion’s body. His jaw worked, and he nodded. “Yes. I thought I heard something.”
I frowned. That had definitely been a lie. “Sure.” I scoffed, spun around on my heel, and made my way to our horse and the waiting men.