Page 7 of Sorry, Not Sorry
Delilah leaned back against the cushioned headrest of her office chair and closed her eyes.
The painkillers she had taken the moment Sammie and Ross’s session was over had kicked in and she felt the tension between her temples begin to ease.
At the sound of a gentle knock, she opened one eye and glanced warily at the closed door.
The last thing she needed was Polly showing up and accusing her of napping on the job.
‘Who is it?’ she called cautiously.
‘It’s me,’ came a muffled reply. ‘It’s pretty quiet in there. Just checking you’re still alive.’
‘Come in.’ Delilah sat up and smoothed back her braids. Her head was heavy, and her brain still felt like someone had swapped it for cotton wool, but Armenique was safe.
Armenique came in and sat down facing Delilah’s desk, leaning forward to peer closely at her. ‘What’s wrong? Did I wake you up or something?’
‘No, resting my eyes. I have a pounding headache and just took some paracetamol a few minutes ago.’
‘You do look pretty knackered,’ Armenique observed.
‘Cheers,’ Delilah mumbled sarcastically. She yawned widely and covered her mouth. ‘Sorry. I didn’t get much sleep last night.’
‘Woohoo! Someone’s finally having some fun!’ Armenique broke into an infectious belly laugh, throwing her head back with such gusto she nearly lost her blue headwrap.
Delilah pulled a face and then smiled reluctantly. ‘Haha, very funny. I’ve told you I’m not dating.’
‘Ah yes, Miss I’m-taking-a-sabbatical-from-men.’ Armenique grinned and wiped under her eyes. ‘So, if it’s not bedroom action keeping you up, what’s the problem?’
‘Who knows. Too much thinking, I suppose,’ Delilah said, swivelling her chair to avoid Armenique’s questioning gaze.
‘Never mind about me, what I don’t get is why every single one of my clients wants to cause drama.
I’m trying to keep on Polly’s good side, but it’s so flipping stressful trying to control some of these people!
Take my couple that just left. She’s trying to hold their relationship together while all he cares about is getting his leg over!
I swear it’s like pulling teeth getting Ross to show her a bit of consideration. ’
‘Sounds like an arrogant tosser,’ Armenique said sagely. ‘But don’t quote me. I’ll deny ever using such judgemental language.’
‘I thought I’d be used to him by now, but he was acting like such an arse today.’ Delilah closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh. ‘I don’t know why poor Sammie puts up with it.’
‘Maybe because she loves him?’
Delilah’s eyes flew open, and she turned her chair back to face Armenique, her headache momentarily forgotten. ‘How can you possibly think love excuses abuse?’
Armenique raised an eyebrow at Delilah’s sharp tone. ‘Hang on a minute, no one’s talking about abuse here. The bloke sounds selfish and insensitive, but that hardly makes him an abuser!’
‘But that’s how it starts, isn’t it?’ Delilah’s voice rose. ‘You give an inch, and then another, and the next thing you know, you’ve got a man taking advantage and calling all the shots.’
Armenique tilted her head to the side. ‘Are we still talking about Ross?’
‘Him – and guys just like him. I’ve gone out with enough of them to recognise the pattern.’ Delilah struggled to keep the bitterness out of her voice.
Armenique studied Delilah thoughtfully. ‘We’ve been mates since we started this course, but this is the first time I’ve heard you talk about your exes this way. I always assumed you were the happy-go-lucky, love-’em-and-leave-’em type.’
‘I’m fine until a guy starts to get possessive or controlling,’ Delilah replied shortly.
‘So maybe that’s why clients like Ross trigger you.’ Armenique hesitated. ‘Come to think of it, it always seems to be your male clients you have a problem with.’
Delilah tried to row the conversation back from the direction it was taking. ‘I was talking about me. It’s got nothing to do with my clients. We’ve both done the training and trust me, I know how to keep my personal views out of counselling sessions.’
‘Well yes, in theory,’ Armenique said slowly. ‘But we’re not miracle workers, Del, we’re human and it’s easy to let our own experiences get in the way of being objective. This is why you need to come to supervision, and it’s something you should explore with your therapist.’
Although the peer group sessions were mandatory, Delilah found them stressful, and when no one had pulled her up after she’d ducked one or two, she continued to find excuses not to attend. She dropped her head back against the headrest and closed her eyes, but Armenique didn’t let it go.
‘You’ve got away with missing most of the supervision sessions, and yet you’re obviously struggling with your clients. This work can really weigh on us and we all need support. You need to take this seriously,’ she said.
When Delilah made no reply, Armenique sighed heavily. ‘Del, I’m your friend and I love you, but I’ve got to be honest, babe. If you don’t sort this out, it’s going to cost you.’