Page 28 of Sorry, Not Sorry

They had been in the café for almost half an hour and, so far, Zazie had done most of the talking.

Arriving fifteen minutes late, she had launched into a list of grievances against Noah’s mother in between sips of hot water flavoured with a slice of lemon.

It didn’t take a genius to pick up on Zazie’s deep-seated resentment of her boyfriend’s mother and, in Delilah’s opinion, the couple who really needed counselling was Zazie and Mrs West. But, seeing as she had herself never conquered that particular mountain, Delilah was hard pressed to suggest an approach that could work.

‘ Only child syndrome ,’ she had teased Noah mercilessly after he had finally coaxed her into the house next door to meet his parents.

Her initial impression of Noah as the golden child smothered by his overbearing mother’s attention was reinforced when she started joining him on his weekend visits home.

The Sunday routine in the West household rarely varied.

Church for his parents (a practice Noah had long sworn off) was followed by a huge meal cooked by his mother.

After that came a couple of hours listening to Neville’s extensive collection of vinyl records while the family caught up with the events of their week, before wrapping up the day with board games.

From the moment they arrived, Mrs West would fuss endlessly over her son, paying no attention to his obvious discomfort.

The fussing had never been extended to Delilah and, in stark contrast to Neville’s immediate and warm acceptance, Mrs West’s frost-tinged formality towards Delilah had never quite thawed.

It shouldn’t have come as a surprise then to learn Noah’s mother was giving Zazie a hard time, although Delilah struggled to understand why.

Surely even the most protective mother in the world would find beautiful, charming Zazie utterly enchanting.

Eventually Zazie ran out of steam and Delilah glanced at Noah, who sat across from her. Despite the occasional pained expression she had seen creeping onto his face, he had let Zazie speak without interruption.

‘What’s on your mind, Noah?’ Delilah asked quietly.

Staring into his coffee, Noah shook his head without comment, and Delilah felt her hackles rise.

Was she supposed to influence his sceptical girlfriend by herself?

Irritated by his lack of support, Delilah suppressed the strong temptation to remind him she was only here under duress and kept her tone even.

‘Noah, it’s important you’re honest with Zazie because you’re going to need to show a united front when it comes to your mum.

If she gets how important it is to you that Zazie feels welcomed, and that her being hostile towards your – your girlfriend’ Dammit, why was it still so hard to get that word out !

– ‘risks alienating you, I’m sure she would make the effort. ’

Noah exhaled loudly and ran a hand over his head. He opened his mouth and then paused, clearly struggling to articulate his thoughts. Zazie put down her cup and squeezed his hand affectionately.

‘Yeah, babe. What are you thinking?’ She gave him an encouraging smile. Noah gazed down at her hand clasping his for a moment and then cleared his throat.

‘Look, I don’t really know how to say this…’

‘Say what, sweetie?’

Noah’s eyes remained downcast as his voice dropped into a murmur. ‘Don’t take this the wrong way, but the thing is… and I know you mean well, but sometimes you can come across as a bit…’

‘A bit what?’ Zazie frowned.

‘Well… a bit full-on. I know it’s your personality and I don’t think anything of it, but Mum is a very reserved person and sometimes – well, I’m just saying that sometimes less is more.’

‘Noah!’ Delilah stared at him in disbelief. How could he possibly hold Zazie responsible for his awful mother’s stand-offish treatment?

Zazie clearly thought the same. Stricken, she pulled her hand away, looking as wounded as if someone had just slapped Bambi.

Noah studied the table intently and tapped his fingers in a silent tattoo.

‘Zazie, I know you mean well. Really, I get it. But – seriously, who gives an expensive designer bag to someone you’ve only met twice!

You can’t buy a person’s affection.’ He looked up at her, his face unsmiling.

‘Come on, you must admit that was over the top.’

Delilah shook her head slowly, shocked that he was doubling down on his harsh comment instead of apologising to an obviously hurt Zazie. When had Noah become so cruel? And why was he doing his best to sabotage Delilah’s efforts to help them?

Zazie sprang to her feet so abruptly she almost knocked over her half-empty cup of lemon water.

Her face was flushed, and her chest rose and fell rapidly beneath her white cashmere sweater as she pointed a trembling finger at Noah.

‘I actually cancelled a photo shoot today that my agent set up weeks ago, because I thought we were all here to work out how to get your mum to treat me right,’ she hissed.

‘But instead of taking my side, you have the bloody nerve to attack me? What’s that about, hmm? ’

Noah sighed. ‘Zazie, sit down and stop making a big deal about this. I’m not attacking you. I’m just trying to be honest. That’s what you want, isn’t it?’

‘What I want is for you to support me for a change. You’ve seen how your mum is with me, but no matter what she says, you always find a way to defend her!

Instead of taking my side, you want to make me the problem here.

So it’s okay for her to talk to me like dirt and if I have a problem with it, I’m a flipping drama queen?

’ She flung the angry words at him, oblivious to the heads turning at a nearby table.

‘That is not what I said,’ Noah replied doggedly. ‘Don’t put words in my mouth. Can you sit down so we can talk about this like adults?’

The tension at the table was so thick Delilah could have cut it into chunks. Zazie’s eyes shot daggers at Noah but, to Delilah’s relief, she took her seat without a word.

Delilah leaned forward and tried to keep her voice down, only too conscious of the people nearby openly watching the drama.

‘Okay, let’s take a step back and acknowledge it’s possible to have different perceptions of a situation and different feelings as a result.

Noah.’ She looked across at him, trying hard not to get lost in the gaze he directed back at her. Why exactly am I doing this again?

Giving herself a mental shake, she continued.

‘Noah, you’ve admitted your mum and Zazie don’t get on, which is why you asked for my, um…

input. Zazie has just shared – at great length – how your mother’s attitude towards her makes her feel, and she’s given loads of reasons to back that up.

It’s important that she knows you’re hearing her and not dismissing her feelings. ’

‘Of course I’m not dismissing them!’ Noah shook his head, sounding impatient. ‘Believe me, I know my mother can be hard work at times. That’s why we’re here, isn’t it? All I’m saying is Zazie could try a bit harder to meet her halfway. It can take Mum a bit of time to warm up to someone and?—’

‘A bit of time ?’ Zazie spluttered. ‘We’ve been going out for almost two years, and whenever she sees me, she acts like it’s the first time we’ve met!’

For the love of God, Noah, stop talking! Delilah begged silently as Noah persisted. ‘Like I said, Mum can be hard work, but maybe you can help by toning it down a bit. If you come across as desperate, you’ll never win her over.’

Zazie’s expression darkened. ‘Oh! So now I’m desperate ?’

‘Once again, that is not what I said!’

It was hard to tell if Noah was here to support or to sabotage but, other than entertaining the folks at the nearby table who were now openly eavesdropping, the discussion was going nowhere.

Between Noah’s obstinate stance and Zazie’s short temper, Delilah could feel herself flagging, and she cleared her throat loudly.

Two pairs of angry eyes turned towards her, and she paused for a moment to let the tension subside.

‘We’re getting off track here, so let’s just take a minute to cool down.

Both of you should consider framing your communication in a more constructive way – remember the goal here is to protect your relationship.

Noah, although you didn’t call Zazie desperate, she feels like the words you used amount to the same thing, and you can acknowledge her feelings as legitimate without putting her down. ’

Zazie huffed in vindication and picked up her cup to sip the colourless lemon water. No one spoke for a while, and the observers returned to their conversation.

Noah finally broke the silence. ‘I’m sorry if what I said came off as me putting Zazie down. Believe me, it wasn’t my intention. However’ – he spoke slowly as if choosing his words with care – ‘we can’t work out a decent plan of action to sort out this situation if Zazie continues overreacting.’

‘ I’m overreacting!’ Zazie gasped, visibly flushed beneath her smooth brown skin. ‘Well, if you ask me, you’re underreacting !’

Delilah closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath.

‘Noah, you can’t know how something feels to another person, so you don’t get to decide how they should respond.

You need to take more responsibility for your language because it sounds like you’re belittling her concerns and that’s not helpful.

Can’t you understand how upset Zazie feels and just give her your unconditional support? ’

Noah raised his hands in surrender. ‘Okay, fine, I take it back! Zazie, I’m not trying to piss you off, I promise. I know my mum gives you a hard time and I totally get how it makes you feel.’

‘Good!’ Delilah said firmly before turning to a still fuming Zazie. ‘Given what Noah was trying, in his own clumsy way, to say, is there anything you’re willing to change in how you interact with his mum that could make her behave more warmly towards you?’