Page 33 of Sorry, Not Sorry

Lying in bed staring up at the ceiling, Delilah felt like a prisoner.

Two days of heavy rain had kept her trapped indoors and restricted from the long walks she had started taking to get out of her flat and out of her own head.

She hadn’t heard from Noah since his spat with Zazie in the café and she wasn’t sure whether to be annoyed at the silence or relieved to be spared further involvement in his love life.

Without a job to distract her from the monotony that had become her life, the ongoing separation from Salome was ratcheting up Delilah’s levels of anxiety, and even the long chat earlier that morning with Armenique hadn’t managed to ease Delilah’s frustration or motivate her to get out of bed.

Just as she was contemplating ringing Polly and begging her to reconsider, her phone rang.

Sending up a silent prayer that it was Salome calling to make up, Delilah picked it up and frowned at the unknown number on the screen.

Curiosity overcame her instinct to cut the call, and she tapped the green icon.

‘Hello?’ she asked cautiously.

‘Delilah?’

It took a minute for the voice to register.

‘Zazie?’ Caught off-guard, Delilah scrambled upright, her guilty conscience immediately sending her into a panic that Noah had told Zazie the truth about her.

‘Yeah. You all right? I got your number from Noah. Look, I know you’re probably really busy with work and I’m sorry to drag you out in such crap weather, but is there any chance you can meet me today?’

Zazie didn’t sound like someone ready to murder her for lying about her past relationship with her man, and Delilah slowly released her breath and leaned back against the headboard. She cleared her throat and gave it a few seconds while she consulted her empty calendar.

‘I might be able to make some time this afternoon. Where are you?’

‘I’m in the middle of a fashion shoot, but it looks like I’ll be stuck here all day cos we can’t do the outdoor shots until this sodding rain stops. Listen, I really need to talk to you. If I text you the address, can you come over as soon as you’re free?’

* * *

The large building with peeling blue paint on the edge of an industrial park didn’t look like an obvious venue for a fashion shoot, was Delilah’s first thought while carefully picking her way up a path of cracked paving stones.

But then, what she knew about the fashion industry wouldn’t fill the back of a postage stamp.

The rain was still bucketing down, and she huddled under the portico to close her drenched umbrella before pressing hard on the intercom.

A crackly voice answered and buzzed her in before she could say a word, and she pushed open the door into what looked like a vast, empty warehouse.

The large windows, dirty white walls and stained concrete floor were grimy rather than glamorous, and there was no sign of Zazie or anyone else.

Making out the faint strains of music coming from down a long corridor, Delilah slipped off her wet puffer jacket and followed the sound, eventually tracking the source of the music to a room at the back.

She tapped on the closed door and when no one answered, knocked harder.

Seconds later, the door flew open, and Delilah blinked in stunned surprise at the sight of Zazie in skintight denims and a silver bra top that left nothing to the imagination.

Silver streaks ran along the model’s sculpted cheekbones and under the arches of her eyebrows, while her shimmering metallic lipstick complemented silver highlights in her thick corkscrew curls.

The silver theme extended to glittering high-heeled sandals that added more inches to her already impressive height.

‘Oh good, you made it! Come and meet the guys,’ Zazie said cheerfully, grabbing Delilah’s arm and pulling her into the room.

Momentarily disorientated by the pounding rap music blaring and a bank of dazzling spotlights angled around white canvas screens, it took her a moment to notice the two men in the room poring over a digital camera. They glanced up, and one of them turned a knob on a console to cut the music.

‘Tony’s the photographer for the shoot and Marc’s his assistant,’ Zazie announced with a casual wave in their direction, adding loudly, ‘Guys, this is my mate, Delilah.’

Delilah returned Tony and Marc’s friendly nods with an awkward smile before turning to Zazie. ‘I hope I’m not interrupting, only you did say to come whenever…’

‘No, it’s fine. We’re pretty much finished with all the indoor shots, so we’re just hanging around. I’m hoping the rain stops before we lose the light cos it’ll be a real pain to get all togged up again tomorrow. I’m soo glad you came!’

It would have been so much easier to have hated Noah’s girlfriend, but Zazie’s bubbly, easy charm made it impossible.

‘You look incredible, by the way,’ Delilah said sincerely. ‘It’s probably a stupid question, but… um, what exactly are you modelling?’

‘ Jeans! Can’t you tell?’ Zazie exclaimed, pirouetting gracefully in the spiky heeled sandals Delilah would have struggled to stand in.

‘It’s a new brand of denims by an up-and-coming Black designer.

Sinbad’s just starting out after design college and can’t afford much.

’ She glanced at the men and lowered her voice.

‘Which is why we’re filming his social media ad campaign on a crap budget in this crap building.

My agent thinks it’s good for my image to be seen supporting the community, but between you and me, I’ve told him we need to raise our game.

There’s loads of big brands trying to book me, and I don’t want to waste my time doing shoots like this where they can’t even afford a friggin’ make-up artist! ’

‘Oh, right!’ Delilah said weakly, trying to keep up with Zazie’s rapid-fire explanation.

Zazie looped an arm through Delilah’s and drew her further out of earshot of Tony and Marc. ‘I really appreciate you coming all the way out here.’

‘That’s okay. What did you want to talk about?’

‘Noah, of course.’ Zazie sounded surprised by the question.

‘Oh, yes, of course. Silly me. How are things going with you two, then?’ Delilah asked, bracing herself.

‘We’re great! After that day in the café, he rang me and apologised for being such an arse.

Then, he came over to mine that night and really apologised – if you get my drift.

’ Zazie’s throaty chuckle and exaggerated wink had Delilah immediately suppressing a bout of nausea.

It was surreal enough knowing that Noah loved someone else without being forced to hear the intimate details.

Zazie went over to a Styrofoam cooler on a nearby table and took out two boxes of fruit juice.

Handing one to Delilah, she tore the straw off the other, punctured the carton, and took a long sip.

With a satisfied sigh, she glanced across to where Tony and Marc were bent over a laptop scrolling through pictures and leaned in closer to Delilah.

‘Thing is, Del, just cos me and Noah are good now isn’t enough. I need to sort out this issue with his mum. It doesn’t matter how much he says he loves being with me, that man’s never gonna propose if the old cow doesn’t give her seal of approval.’

Delilah made a show of pushing the short plastic straw into her juice box and took a sip, silently longing to be back in the boring yet peaceful cocoon of her flat.

Frankly, anything was better than being forced into a ring-side view of Noah’s love life.

The situation was awkward and painful, but there was no way out.

Pull up your big girl pants, Del. The sooner you help this girl, the sooner you can exit Noah’s life .

‘Zazie, why do you think Mrs West doesn’t like you? At the café, you said something like she wouldn’t accept any woman Noah brought home. That might be true, but is there anything you might have said or done that maybe she took the wrong way – apart from the handbag, that is,’ she added hastily.

Zazie’s silver eyebrows merged into a metallic frown as she pondered Delilah’s question. Then she shook her head. ‘Nope. Nothing.’

‘Nothing that’s made her pull that face that looks like she’s just sucked a lemon?’ Delilah persisted.

‘How do you know she does that?’ Zazie looked at her curiously and then her eyes narrowed. ‘I thought you were friends with Noah’s mate?’

‘I – I don’t… I mean, I am,’ Delilah stammered. Damn! The girl was as sharp as a tack. ‘It must have been something Noah said that stuck in my head.’

Zazie appeared to take Delilah’s words at face value, because her brow cleared. ‘Like I said, I’ve been on at Noah about this for months, but all he ever comes back with is I should be patient with her . You’ve heard him yourself. His mum always comes first!’

Zazie exhaled dramatically and then shrugged. ‘Things need to change cos I’m not gonna hang around forever. I look good now, but I’m not getting any younger.’

Delilah smiled in sympathy. ‘I get it. I really do. But you’re still young and you’ve got loads of time to start a family.’

Zazie had started sucking thirstily on her straw, and she promptly choked. ‘You are joking, right?’ she spluttered. ‘My body’s my career , Delilah. I can’t ruin it by having kids.’

‘ Oh! ’ It was Delilah’s turn to be shocked.

If she was sure about one thing, it was the fact that Noah loved children.

In the past, they had always laughed at the weird baby names celebrities came up with, swearing that when they had their own children, any names based on fruits, days of the week, or star signs were off the table.

Noah must really love Zazie if he was prepared to forgo having a family, Delilah thought, wondering why the thought made her feel so miserable.

‘There’s nothing wrong with not wanting children as long as you’re both on the same page,’ she said stiltedly, trying not to sound judgemental. ‘So Noah’s okay with not having kids?’