Page 27 of Sorry, Not Sorry

‘So you finally met Zazie! Okay, go on then, spill the beans. What happened after she left?’ Salome demanded.

Delilah absently stroked Arin’s fine baby hair as he sat quietly on her lap with his thumb stuck in his mouth. ‘Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Noah and I sat there for about five minutes in an awkward silence you could have cut with a knife. Then I got up and left.’

‘Well done, hon.’ Salome reached across the kitchen table to squeeze her sister’s hand, her eyes brimming with compassion. ‘Meeting your ex’s girl can’t have been easy for you.’

‘Especially when she looks like a bloody supermodel and seems like a lovely person,’ Delilah agreed with a wry smile.

‘Thank God you don’t have feelings for Noah any more.’

When Delilah made no comment, Salome tilted her head and scrutinised her sister through narrowed eyes. ‘Hold on, you don’t still have feelings for him, do you?’

Delilah sighed. ‘I don’t know – maybe?’ She buried her face in Arin’s curls. ‘Seeing him again is bringing up all these weird emotions, but maybe that’s just a normal reaction to meeting an ex’s new partner.’

‘It didn’t bother you when it was Desmond,’ Salome observed dryly, reaching across the table to stroke her son’s cheek.

‘True, but then he wasn’t asking me for marriage counselling, was he?’

Salome’s hand stilled and she stared at her sister with wide eyes. ‘ Marriage? Are you serious?’

Delilah nodded. ‘Yup. And so, it appears, are they. Once they get mummy dearest onside, they’ll be setting a date.’

Salome looked stricken as she took in the information. ‘I’m starting to regret making you go through this apology exercise. I didn’t realise you were still into Noah. I’m sorry, sis – what are you going to do?’

‘There’s nothing I can do except finish what I’ve started.

I owe him, Sal, and if I can help him get his happy ever after, maybe he’ll stop hating me and I’ll stop feeling guilty.

When they get his mum’s blessing, and I get Noah’s forgiveness, hopefully then we can all move on with our lives.

I’m meeting up with them on Tuesday to talk through some strategies – I mean, suggestions. ’

Salome’s sympathetic expression was beginning to jar, and Delilah quickly changed the subject. ‘Guess who’s back from Brazil?’

‘Really?’

‘Yup. I called him yesterday. Do you know, Remi’s the first man on your stupid list who actually sounded pleased to hear from me.’

‘Why?’ Salome asked bluntly.

‘I didn’t ask! Anyway, I’m meeting him on Thursday evening, so I suppose I’ll find out.’

Arin squirmed on her lap and Delilah sniffed, screwing up her nose as the tell-tale aroma hit her. ‘Eww, Arin ! I wondered why you were sitting so still! Sal, your child needs changing.’ She stood up and held Arin under his arms, dangling him above the table.

Salome didn’t move. ‘Well, I’m knackered. Delilah, you do know that you could change him yourself.’

‘Haha. You know I don’t do poopy nappies. Seriously, Sal, take him before he leaks all over me!’

Reluctantly, Salome pulled herself up from her chair and reached for her son. ‘Come on, little man. Let’s go upstairs and get you cleaned up.’ She glanced at Delilah. ‘Can you make me a cuppa, hon? I’m parched.’

Delilah had just switched on the kettle when Farhan wandered into the kitchen. Walking over to the fridge, he took out a half-empty packet of sliced cheese and glanced over at her. ‘Where’s Sal?’

‘Upstairs, changing Arin. Actually, if you’ve got a minute, I’ve been wanting to have a word.’

‘Oh? Why, what’s up?’ He folded a slice of cheese into quarters and crammed it into his mouth and then opened a cupboard and took out some crackers.

‘Have you noticed how tired Sal looks lately?’

Farhan lowered the cracker that was halfway to his mouth and swallowed hard. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean my sister looks absolutely shattered and needs more support than she seems to be getting from you,’ Delilah said.

A flash of anger crossed his face. ‘What exactly are you trying to say, Delilah?’

Delilah ignored Farhan’s terse tone and stuck to her guns.

Salome’s unguarded confession about feeling frustrated with her life had been weighing on Delilah.

Her sister’s upbeat demeanour couldn’t hide the dark shadows under her eyes, nor had a new air of restlessness escaped Delilah’s notice.

Salome worked extraordinarily hard to make everyone happy and ensure everything around her was perfect.

Any cracks in the flawless image her sister chose to project meant something was very wrong, and her husband should have been the first to spot it.

‘Listen, it’s your job to take care of her and, if you ask me, I think she’s doing too much,’ Delilah said firmly. ‘I know you’ve been busy with work, but you must have noticed she’s run off her feet.’

Farhan flushed and dropped the cracker he was holding on to the kitchen counter.

‘Are you serious?’ he said, his voice rising with incredulity.

‘You think I don’t know how hard Sal works to take care of the kids and me, not to mention looking after the house?

Not that I need to justify myself to you, but I’ve been begging her for months to let us get a cleaner in to help out, and she won’t have it.

If you can take a minute to climb down from your high horse, maybe you can ask yourself what’s taken you so long to notice!

Instead of having a go at me, look in the mirror and ask what you’re doing to help. ’

‘I’m always over here keeping her company, aren’t I?’

‘And how’s that helping?’ Farhan scoffed.

‘It’s not like you offer any hands-on support, is it?

You might be in and out of here, but have you ever asked if you can help out with the kids – or with anything?

When we all got hit with the flu, where were you?

Bloody hell, you won’t even change a flaming nappy, so don’t you dare insinuate that I don’t care about my wife! ’

As Farhan’s verbal blows landed squarely on their target, Delilah’s face burned with humiliation. Furious at him for twisting her legitimate concerns about her sister into a damning indictment of her own failings, she couldn’t stop herself.

‘If you care so much, then how come you’re blocking her from getting back into her career? Do you know how utterly bored she is of just being a housewife?’

‘ Delilah! ’ Salome’s shocked voice cut into the tense silence.

Standing in the doorway with Arin in her arms, Salome shook her head in bewilderment as her gaze swung from Farhan to Delilah. ‘What the hell is going on? I’ve literally been gone for five minutes! What’s happened?’

Ashen-faced, Farhan put the packet of crackers back into the cupboard before turning to face his wife.

‘Is it true?’ he asked quietly. ‘What she said – that you’re bored of being at home with me and the kids?’

When Salome hesitated, Farhan shook his head, his expression suddenly so deeply hurt that Delilah’s anger fizzled out like a damp firework.

If she knew one thing for sure, it was that Farhan idolised Salome.

So much so that he had never questioned Delilah’s importance to his wife or queried the open-all-hours access she had to their home.

She opened her mouth to apologise but Farhan’s attention was focused on Salome. ‘Why didn’t you say anything?’ he asked.

‘Because it’s not how I feel all the time,’ Salome whispered, rocking Arin gently in her arms. ‘I’m so grateful you’re here at home with us, and you know I love being with the kids.

It’s just that at times I want to – to do something else for a change.

I miss work. Not every day, but there’s times when I need contact with people who aren’t mums and who talk about something more than whose kid is teething or walking or whatever.

I know you say we don’t need the income from me going to work, but I still feel guilty that you’re carrying the financial burden of all of us. ’

Salome sounded close to tears, and Delilah looked on aghast.

Farhan ran a hand through his hair and shook his head.

‘Darling, you don’t have any reason to feel guilty,’ he said gruffly.

‘You do so much every day. Why was it so hard to talk to me about this? I really wish you had told me instead of—’ His voice unexpectedly cracked, and he gestured towards Delilah, who gasped, horrified at what she had provoked. Why couldn’t I keep my big mouth shut!

‘I’m sorry, Farhan. I’m so, so sorry,’ she pleaded. ‘I was being a total bitch. What I said was horrible and uncalled for. Please forgive me. I should never have said that.’

‘No, you shouldn’t,’ he said flatly. Without another word, he walked past Salome and out of the kitchen.

Delilah looked at her sister in panic. ‘Sal, I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have?—’

‘Why, Delilah? How in the world could you say that to him?’ Salome sounded so stricken that Delilah could have wept.

She raised her hands and then dropped them down by her sides again, only too aware she had no excuse that didn’t make her sound like a petulant child.

‘I had a go at him for not taking better care of you, and he called me out on my own behaviour. I saw red and said the first thing that came into my head to hurt him back. I was angry, but I should never have thrown that in his face.’

‘I spoke to you in confidence!’ Salome looked devastated. ‘I thought I could trust you.’

‘You can , Sal. Come on, please. I made a mistake and I’m sorry.’

Salome’s expression hardened. ‘Do you think saying sorry is going to take the pain away? You saw his face! That’s why I haven’t said anything to him – and now look what you’ve done.’

Delilah took a deep pained breath and closed her eyes, unable to bear the reproach in her sister’s eyes. How had she managed to get it so wrong, she thought wretchedly.

‘I’m sorry… I swear I was only trying to look out for you. I overstepped and—’ She broke off in horror as Salome’s face crumpled and tears streamed down her face.

‘How could you, Delilah?’ she sobbed. ‘I need you to leave our house. Now! ’

Cradling Arin’s head against her shoulder, Salome turned away from her sister and followed Farhan out of the room.