Page 40 of Sorry, Not Sorry

Delilah ripped off the jumper in frustration and tossed it onto her bed to join the discarded pile of clothes.

It had been almost an hour since Noah’s call and unless she planned to face her ex-boyfriend wearing nothing more than trousers and a bra, she didn’t have much time left to find something decent to wear.

What was even more frustrating was that she still had no clue why he was coming over.

Get a move on, Del! She faced the full-length mirror, turning to the side to check the fit of the black jeans hugging her small waist and curvy bottom.

If she didn’t want Noah turning up to find her half-naked…

She hurriedly shut down her imagination before it went any further and opened her closet door to flip through the hangers again.

Aiming for casual chic when your wardrobe was more like casual slob wasn’t easy.

She pounced on a silky black t-shirt with an asymmetric neckline she had missed earlier and pulled it off the hanger, slipping it on while her mind continued its feverish speculation.

‘ Can I come over? ’ The four words weren’t much to go on, and Noah’s tone had given nothing away. While his parting words before he’d left her standing on the bridge had been brutal, what if the kiss they’d shared had changed his mind about his feelings for Zazie?

Delilah ran her fingers through her twists and carefully brushed back her edges.

Smoothing her eyebrows with her finger, she picked up a tube of mascara and then paused to stare at her face in the mirror.

You’re doing exactly what his bloody mother said you would!

She bit her lip and tossed the tube, unused, back into her make-up bag.

‘Noah is with Zazie! Noah is with Zazie! Noah is with Zazie! ’ She chanted the words aloud to block any rogue fantasies from slipping through and began to fold the clothes scattered across her bed.

She was concentrating so hard on not thinking that it took a moment for the doorbell chime to register.

Adrenaline raced through her body, and she stood indecisively until the doorbell sounded again and jolted her into action.

Dropping the jumper she’d been folding, she turned towards the door and promptly banged her toe against the corner of the bed.

A stab of intense pain ran through her foot, and she hopped out of the room, cursing under her breath.

By the time she reached her front door and pressed the Entryphone button to the building, the throbbing in her toe was agony.

She opened her door and heard Noah’s footsteps bounding up the stairs, and within seconds, he was inside the flat. She waved him through, hobbling slowly behind him and biting her lip to stifle the moans threatening to emerge.

He walked into the living room and turned to watch her slow progress. ‘What’s wrong with your foot?’

‘I just stubbed my toe on the bed,’ she replied, sinking into the nearest armchair and rubbing her toe gingerly, trying not to whimper from the pain.

‘Have you got any ice? Or frozen peas?’

‘Huh?’ Delilah looked at him blankly.

He sighed in exasperation and walked into the small kitchen at the end of the living room, pulling open the freezer and rummaging through its sparse contents.

‘Do you ever buy food? This stuff looks like it’s been here for years!’

She pulled a face and watched him take out a small bag of ice cubes. He shook half of it into the kitchen towel draped over the sink and twisted the towel into a tight ball. Coming back to kneel beside her, he gently lifted her foot, and her body immediately stiffened at his touch.

‘Where does it hurt?’

She pointed silently to her small toe, and he carefully held the ice-filled towel against it. Despite her pain, she shivered at the sensation of Noah’s warm fingers on her skin, and terrified he would see how his touch affected her, she snatched the cold compress away and flashed a nervous smile.

‘Thanks, it’s fine… I can do it myself.’ She waved him towards the sofa. ‘Sit down. Please.’

Noah eyed her for a second and then released her foot and stood up. He sat on the sofa facing her and nodded towards her foot.

‘Does it feel better?’

Delilah nodded, pressing the makeshift ice pack against her numb toe. The stabbing pain was subsiding into a dull ache, but her bigger concern was why Noah was in her flat.

‘So what brings you here? After what you said the other day, I didn’t think you ever wanted to see me again.’ She tried to keep her tone light, but it was hard to stop the hurt seeping into her voice.

Noah dropped his gaze and massaged the back of his neck. ‘I know,’ he said gruffly. ‘What I said to you in the park… it was cruel and – and unnecessary. I wanted to check you’re okay. I don’t want any hard feelings between you and me.’

‘Oh,’ she said, her voice hollow with disappointment. She knew she could be the queen of wishful thinking, but despite the stern talking to she had given herself, she had still secretly hoped Noah was coming to confess he felt something for her.

‘I suppose it’s my turn to apologise.’ With his hands clasped together and one leg jiggling furiously, Noah couldn’t have looked more uncomfortable if he’d tried.

‘I was well out of order kissing you in the park and then making things worse by attacking you instead of taking accountability for my actions.’

As if he couldn’t bear to sit any longer, he stood up and wandered over to the window, peering through the blinds into the street before turning back to face her. He ran a hand over his face and then sighed heavily.

‘I won’t lie, Del. Sometimes it’s hard to be around you after what went down with us before, and I?—’

He broke off and walked over to crouch in front of her, looking deeply into her eyes. He was close enough for her to see the dark flecks in the brown of his eyes and smell the clean lemon notes of his cologne.

‘You… what?’ she asked breathlessly, a tiny spark of hope igniting despite herself.

He shook his head. ‘I needed time to work through my feelings about the past. For a minute back there in the park, it felt like we still had unfinished business, but I’ve thought long and hard about this, and for your sake and mine, it’s time to let go of my anger.

I’m ready to try so we can both move on. Is that okay with you?’

‘Absolutely!’

‘So, we’re good?’

‘Of course !’ Delilah nodded emphatically.

Noah drew himself up to his full height and grinned, and Delilah responded with a bright smile, wondering if he could hear the sound of her heart breaking.

She could see the relief in his eyes, and she swallowed the bitterness she could taste in her mouth, determined not to show him how much she was hurting and invite his pity.

She changed the subject before she started to cry. ‘I haven’t spoken to Zazie, but she’s been sending me texts with ideas about how she can connect better with your mum. How’s that going?’

‘Funny you should ask, cos that’s the other thing I wanted to tell you.’

What fresh hell is this man about to announce? Delilah braced herself for more pain, praying for the day she could disentangle herself from Noah’s life.

‘There’s been a breakthrough on that front, and the funny thing is Zazie didn’t need to do anything. Mum called yesterday and invited us round to theirs for lunch next Sunday. She said she wanted to get to know Zazie better.’

‘ Oh … ! ’ Delilah stared at him blankly.

‘I know, right? The best part is Zazie’s actually excited to go.

She really seems to like you, and it looks like your advice has done the trick cos I swear before she met you, she’d have refused point blank or found some excuse.

But when I told her, she seemed really excited and said if Mum’s extending an olive branch, she’s willing to meet her halfway. ’

He smiled wryly. ‘Look, Del, I know it’s been weird for both of us, what with our history and everything, but you’ve really helped Zazie and me turn the corner on this situation with Mum, and I want to thank you.’

Delilah smiled through lips that felt as frozen as the ice cradling her injured toe. ‘I didn’t really do much, but I’m pleased for you, Noah. For both of you. I hope everything works out.’

Noah’s expression sobered. ‘Me too. I can’t have the two most important women in my life at odds with each other. Mum and Zazie will probably never be best friends but if they can get along, I’m comfortable about taking things to the next level.’

Delilah nodded sympathetically even as her mind was furiously connecting the dots.

The timing of his mother’s invitation was no coincidence.

Delilah’s attempt to make peace with Mrs West had clearly backfired, especially after Noah’s unexpected defence of his ex-fiancée.

It seemed his mother was prepared to do anything to get rid of Delilah – including belatedly rolling out the welcome mat for Zazie.

The irony that Zazie was planning to deprive Mrs West of the grandchildren she constantly harped on about was obvious, but she and Noah had agreed to put any acrimony behind them, and it wasn’t her place to interfere.

She could only hope Zazie would do the right thing and admit her feelings about having kids to Noah before it was too late.

Suddenly desperate for Noah to leave, Delilah dropped the sodden towel of melting ice on the side table and stood up.

The emotional darts lobbed in her direction since Noah’s arrival had overtaken the pain in her toe, and she could feel tears building up behind her eyes.

Limping gingerly to the front door, she opened it, and Noah gave her a friendly hug that made her want to weep like a baby.

She glanced at his arm, wondering again about the crown tattoo.

What difference would it make even if it was still there, she thought wearily.

Whatever was printed on his arm, Noah had left her in no doubt that he had moved on in his heart.

He stood in the doorway and held her gaze.

‘It’s time we both started a new chapter, Del.

I want you to know I’m not holding a grudge any more.

You came to me to ask for my forgiveness, and it’s yours.

I really hope you get your job back cos from everything I’ve seen, you’d make an awesome relationship counsellor. ’

He cuffed her gently on the chin. ‘Don’t give up on your dream, you hear?’

Forcing a smile, Delilah nodded and watched him take the stairs two at a time before closing the door and leaning back against it.

She let out the breath she had been holding, but that didn’t stop the tears rolling down her face.

Noah had forgiven her. She had finally got what she wanted, so why did she feel so empty inside?

Walking back to sit on the couch that was still warm from Noah, she curled up into a ball and sobbed.

Gone was the secret hope she had harboured for a reset in their relationship.

Arne and Salome had been right, and even Armenique had warned her to keep her distance.

Second chances only happened in romance novels, not in real life.