Page 47 of Sorry, Not Sorry

After spending most of the morning in bed, Delilah and Noah finally left her flat for a stroll into town.

Walking hand in hand through the neighbourhood park, they stopped to sit on a bench, watching people walk their dogs and the occasional jogger run past them on the pathway that circled the park.

Overhead, the blue sky was darkening as clouds clustered into a grey blanket, slowly blotting out the late morning sunshine.

The temperature had been unseasonably warm when they’d left the house but was quickly dropping, and Delilah was beginning to regret not bringing a jacket.

A sharp gust of wind cut through her light sweater, and she rubbed the sudden goosebumps on her arm.

Noah reached for her hand and squeezed it gently. ‘Looks like we missed the best weather while we were in bed.’

Delilah smiled coyly. ‘I know, but it was so worth it. Best way to start the day.’

‘Couldn’t agree more.’ He released her hand and wrapped his arm around her, and she snuggled against him.

It was so good to see the tactile and affectionate Noah she had known in the past, with none of the moodiness and coldness he had displayed towards Zazie.

She stifled a pang of jealousy at the thought of Noah’s ex-girlfriend.

It was hard to forget that only a few weeks earlier, he had been so involved with another girl, he had been contemplating proposing to her.

But then, Delilah reminded herself, Noah had stood up to his mother in front of her in a way he had never done for Zazie, which had to mean something.

‘Has Zazie been in touch with you since – well, you know?’ she asked tentatively.

‘No,’ Noah said tersely. ‘Just as well cos I’ve got nothing to say to her.’

‘Don’t you think maybe you two need to have a proper chat and get closure?’ Delilah persisted, even as the voice in her head was screaming at her to shut up. Are you trying to drive him back into her arms, you idiot!

‘You really can’t stop yourself going into counselling mode, can you?’ Noah drawled, his voice tinged with humour.

‘Well, when people react strongly to someone, it means there’s still feelings there,’ she pointed out. ‘I just want to make sure I’m not the rebound girl.’

‘Del, if anyone was on the rebound, it was me with Zazie.’ He shifted on the bench to face her squarely.

‘I won’t pretend I didn’t care about her because that isn’t true.

When I met Zazie, I was struggling to get over you, and she was fun and easy to be with.

I was desperate to move on from you and me and to be happy again.

Maybe I was forcing things with her a bit, but Zazie really cared about me – or at least, I thought she did,’ he finished grimly.

‘I know she cared about you! Look, I’m not saying what Zazie did was right, but no one’s perfect and it isn’t always easy to be upfront about things if you’re afraid you’re going to hurt someone, or even lose them.’

‘Yeah, well being honest is super important to me. You’re not holding anything back from me, are you?’ He studied her earnest expression quizzically.

‘No, of course not,’ Delilah said quickly. She reached up and stroked his face gently. ‘I’m glad you’re over Zazie. I won’t lie – it was torture watching you loved up with someone else.’

Noah turned his head to kiss the palm of her hand before tracing a path down her arm with his lips.

His hand slipped under her top, and she shivered at his touch and pressed herself against him.

He kissed her hard, and his warm fingers stroking her left her aching for more.

A cyclist whizzed past, and Delilah pulled away from Noah, laughing.

‘You need to behave or we’re going to get arrested,’ she breathed, her voice catching at the naked desire in his eyes.

‘I don’t care who’s watching,’ he murmured, but she resisted the temptation and sat back, slipping a hand through the crook of his arm to lovingly trace the small crown tattoo on his forearm.

‘I’m shocked you still have this,’ she marvelled. ‘I would have sworn you’d removed it or covered it over with – with something else.’

‘Didn’t occur to me,’ Noah said with a shrug. ‘You’re always gonna be my queen.’

‘That’s so sweet! Who knew you were such a romantic?’ She beamed up at him and squeezed his arm, a fuzzy ball of happiness lodging itself inside her. She and Noah would be fine, she vowed silently. Zazie was his past, and there was nothing to fear about the future.

‘Okay, so now it’s your turn to demonstrate a bit of romance,’ he said with a grin. ‘I distinctly remember you promising to get a tattoo when I did this one, and we both know that never happened. We could go to Stan’s parlour now if you’re up for it?’

His eyes dared her to accept the challenge, and Delilah pulled a face and shuddered. ‘Ugh! Sorry, but I can’t handle the idea of that needle drilling into me.’

‘And here’s me thinking I’m worth any amount of pain. Just so you know, Zazie was planning to get one done with my name on it,’ he said plaintively, and then burst out laughing when Delilah rolled her eyes.

Struck by a thought, Delilah hesitated and then asked quietly, ‘Is your mum still not talking to you?’

The news that he was back with Delilah had sparked a furious row between Noah and his mother.

Even learning about Zazie’s scheme to deprive her of grandchildren had done nothing to lessen Mrs West’s fury at her son for ignoring her warning about the dangers of trusting Delilah.

Since then, she had refused to speak to him until, as she put it, ‘he came to his senses’.

While Noah had been at pains to assure Delilah she wasn’t to blame, it was hard not to feel guilty for causing a rift between mother and son.

‘It was bound to happen at some point. Mum’s never been happy with anyone I’ve brought home and it’s time I put down some boundaries. Don’t worry about it – I’m not. Trust me, she’ll come round,’ Noah said easily.

Delilah scrutinised him covertly, but he really didn’t appear bothered, which was a total switch from when Zazie had been the one in the firing line. When Delilah cautiously voiced the thought, Noah simply shrugged and hugged her to his side.

‘It’s different with you and me. Granted, things between us didn’t end well the first time around, but that’s in the past. Give her time – even Mum can’t stay upset forever. At the end of the day, she knows I’ve been obsessed with you from the first time we met.’

Delilah winced at his choice of words and tried to ignore the flutter of trepidation they caused in her gut.

She knew Noah wanted their relationship back to how it was before she’d run out on him, but there were times when the pace of change felt somewhat overwhelming.

As they spent more time together, it was becoming trickier for Delilah to balance her instinctive need to take things slowly with showing Noah she was enthused about their future and committed to making things work.

While she was happy to be back with Noah, it probably didn’t help that they spent all their free time glued to each other’s side.

It had been weeks since she had gone out with Armenique or spent time with her other friends, and while Noah wouldn’t have minded, after everything they’d gone through, Delilah felt guilty about even suggesting time apart.

Salome had found a part-time job with her old firm who were delighted to have her back and was juggling the demands of her new job with making time for Farhan and the kids, which made finding time for the heart-to-heart chat Delilah sorely needed almost impossible.

Besides, Salome was so firmly Team Noah that she’d have been horrified to hear Delilah voice any concerns about navigating the relationship.

But Delilah didn’t need any reminders that the last time she had felt under emotional pressure from Noah, she had panicked, and their relationship had ended in disaster.

After her sessions with Arne, she had learned enough about herself to recognise that emotional stress was a trigger, but she had no idea how to explain this to Noah without opening a Pandora’s box which would be impossible to close.

They sat quietly on the bench watching a family of ducks waddle past and head towards the stream while Delilah mulled over Noah’s words. After a while, she broke the silence.

‘Babe, you know I’m so happy we’re together, right? But you’ve just come out of a relationship with Zazie, and you should really take some time to process that. It’s still early days for us, and – well, we’re still getting to know each other again.’

She kept her tone light, placing a hand on his chest as if to stop him running too far ahead. He took her hand and held it tight.

‘Don’t bring Zazie into this. That was a completely different situation, and my feelings for her are nothing like we have. Del, this isn’t exactly our first rodeo – we were literally hours away from getting married! How much more is there for us to know about each other?’

‘All I’m saying is, let’s take it slow and not let things get too heavy too quickly,’ she pleaded. ‘We’ve got all the time in the world, and I just want to make sure we don’t get ahead of ourselves.’

Noah frowned, and she stifled a sigh. It was hard to blame him for looking confused or suspecting she might be trying to backtrack, and she wanted desperately to reassure him.

A loud rumble of thunder broke the tense silence, and she looked up at clouds that had grown ominously dark.

She shivered and turned back to Noah, kissing him hard and holding on to him until she felt the tension ease from his body.

‘That’s more like it,’ he muttered, stroking back her hair and caressing her cheek gently. His eyes lit up with a hint of mischief. ‘This might be a good time to tell you about my brilliant surprise.’

‘You look like the cat who got the cream. What are you planning?’ she asked warily.

‘No need to look so suspicious, my queen,’ he laughed, kissing her nose. ‘You’ll love it, I promise!’

Still feeling unaccountably twitchy, Delilah felt her scalp prickle with anxiety, and she forced a laugh. ‘You know I hate surprises.’

‘Relax, girl! You’ll love it.’ Noah glanced up at the darkening sky and stood up, pulling Delilah to her feet and grabbing his jacket from the bench. ‘It’s going to rain. Let’s get out of here.’