Page 89 of Should Our Hearts Catch Fire

It only takes a few more strokes before he’s coming, adding to the mess on Ellis’ belly. Ellis watches with avid fascination, wincing a little when Gabe continues to stroke them.

Gabe lets go, trying to catch his breath. He leans down to press a kiss to Ellis’ sweaty forehead. “Was that okay?”

There’s a moment of utter silence, and then Ellis laughs, hard enough that his shoulders shake with it. High on pleasure andoxytocin, his energy pulses, rubbing against Gabe’s. Gabe soaks it up, enjoying its warmth and affection.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he says, chuckling.

Ellis’ eyes are bright and sparkling when he looks at him. His hands frame Gabe’s face, drawing him in. Soft, wet lips land on his, the kiss sweet and unhurried, bordering on innocent. He presses their foreheads together when they pull apart.

“Where have you been?”

There’s something rueful and almost sad in his voice. It wraps around Gabe’s throat, choking him, making tears spring to his eyes.

“Looking for you,” Gabe whispers, smiling as he looks into Ellis’ eyes. “But you found me first.”

“Yeah,” Ellis says, voice thick with emotion. “I did.”

“Now you’re stuck with me.”

Ellis laughs. “I can live with that.”

Gabe grins and kisses him.

Chapter 17

Ellis would like tosay he feels no different when he wakes up on Monday morning than he did yesterday before he’d gone home with Gabriel. That the best date ever and his first time doing anything sexual with a man haven’t changed him on a visceral level. That stripping himself bare, literally and figuratively, in front of Gabriel and touching each other wasn’t as groundbreaking as he’d expected.

He'd be the biggest liar in the world.

There’s been a shift inside him, as if he were made up of puzzle-pieces and they’d all just slotted together. For the first time in…ever, he no longer feels like he’s been dropped in the middle of a raging ocean with waves coming at him from all sides, trying to take him down. He’s still in the ocean, but it’s calm and not so deep, and he might even see the shore.

Even the black hole in his chest seems smaller now. It’s been shrinking since Gabriel had come into his life and somethingelse has started growing in its place. Something he’s never felt before.

What’s surprising is how none of these changes feel like they are in any way related to Gabriel being a man. As if his gender was just an afterthought now that Ellis has come to accept that part of himself. Yes, touching Gabriel’s flat chest and hairy legs (he finds that really cute for some reason) was new, as was the feeling of another man’s come painting his skin. It was new, and fascinating, and amazing, but not life-altering.

No, the life-altering part was Gabriel holding him like Ellis was made of glass and kissing him as if his own survival depended on it. Them holding hands as Gabriel went down on him was, in a strangely disturbing way, the sweetest thing Ellis has ever done. Would Gabriel hold his hand when their positions were reversed? The idea makes his cock twitch.

Standing naked in front of the built-in wardrobe mirror, he barely recognizes himself as he stares at his reflection. He’s a mess, all wild hair and a baffled expression. There are small, bright-red bruises Gabriel has marked his hips and thighs with before he—

At the memory of Gabriel between his legs, taking him all the way into his mouth like he was starving for it, Ellis’ cock is now fully hard.

He sighs, foreseeing a shower wank in his near future.

There are only two people in the line before Ellis when he gets to the café. Even though Gabriel is already serving the first, his eyes latch onto Ellis the moment he crosses the threshold, as if he can sense him there. As always, he smiles, wide and radiant, and waves excitedly.

Ellis waves back, the action tamer than Gabriel’s, but he’s pretty sure he’s grinning like an idiot.

“Hi, stranger. Long time no see,” Gabriel greets him once the lady before Ellis has moved over to the pick-up station.

“Yeah, it’s been a while,” Ellis says, chuckling. He doesn’t miss how Gabriel not-so-subtly checks him out, his pupils dilating a little even though he’s seen pretty much everything there is to see.

Ellis’ skin suddenly feels very hot.

“No cinnamon roll today, I presume?” Gabriel says, all blasé and shit, the little menace.

“Yeah, no. I had, like, five for breakfast.” Which is probably why he’s been buzzing since then. Sugar rush. But what did Gabriel expect when he sent him off with the rest of the cinnamon rolls and whatever was left of their dinner (which will be Ellis’ lunch today)?

Gabriel smiles, pleased, then heaves a sigh. “You know that if you end up at the hospital with a cardiac arrest, I’ll feel guilty as hell, right?”