Page 13 of Should Our Hearts Catch Fire

That would take a lot more than a sugar overdose. Although he does have to admit that the cinnamon roll he got last time made his day more bearable.

“I’ll stick with coffee,” he decides. “This time.”

Gabriel purses his lips. They’re full and unusually soft-looking for a man, like he regularly uses lip balm—

What on earth? Lip balm?

“You could have both. Have you ever tried a dirty chai latte?” Gabriel’s voice tears Ellis out of the strange train of thought he has no idea how he’d gotten on.

Focus.Gabriel asked him something. Right. Some weird drink.

“Can’t say I have.”

Gabriel nods, probably having expected Ellis to be the kind of guy who sticks to what he knows. Familiar is good. Familiar is safe.

“It’s just chai latte with a shot or two of espresso. Like mocha, but that one has chocolate instead.”

“I haven’t had that either.”

“Oh.” Gabriel looks unsure. “Well, if you like cinnamon, chances are you’ll like it.”

He does like cinnamon. What he doesn’t like is uncharted territory. “Yeah, I…I don’t actually do well with lactose.”

“Easy fix!” Gabriel reassures him. “We have every alternative milk under the sun. How about almond? Or soy?”

Ellis scrunches his nose. “God, no. That tastes like ass.”

Gabriel snorts. “Is that a bad thing?”

Ellis freezes, watching Gabriel’s eyes grow cartoonishly wide as it sinks in what he just said.

Gabriel’s eyelids slide shut slowly, followed by a deep intake of breath.

“I said that out loud, didn’t I?”

Ellis swallows, not quite sure what to make out of the squirmy feeling waking up in his abdomen. “Uh…yeah.”

“Right.” Taking another deep breath, Gabriel gives him a tense smile that looks like it’s been stapled on. “Will you excuse me for a moment?”

For the second time in five minutes, Ellis is left alone when Gabriel disappears in the kitchen. He’s gone for about a minute or so. Long enough that Ellis has to loosen up his tie when air doesn’t flow quite right into his lungs. What’s weirding him out is that the squirmy feeling is still there.

When Gabriel comes back, his face is flushed, and he seems to be having trouble looking directly at Ellis.

“Sorry. I needed to scream into a pillow. By pillow, I mean our cold room. It’s surprisingly soundproof, you see?” he rambles, a panicked edge to his voice. He must take note of it, because he presses his lips together and clears his throat. Then he smiles. “That’s a no to soy, then. How about oat? Coconut? Or just regular lactose free milk?”

By some miracle, even though Ellis’ brain isn’t functioning right, his lips manage to move and produce a hoarse, “Oat will do.”

Gabriel finally looks at him, his expression almost pained. “Jesus. I didn’t mean to force you to get something you don’t want. Forget I said anything.”

Strangely entranced by the way a few wavy locks of Gabriel’s hair fall into his eyes, Ellis takes a while to reply. “No, that’s fine. It sounds good. I’d like to try it.” He’s already forgotten what drink they’ve been talking about.

Gabriel studies his face for a few moments. “Okay.” His hand hovers over the takeaway cups of varying sizes. “Size?”

“Medium.”

“Alrighty,” Gabriel says, his voice having regained that cheerful tone it had lost for a minute. He reaches for a medium-sized cup, a pen in his other hand. “Can I have your—” He cuts himself off, shoulders slumping ever so slightly. “Ah. Nevermind. You’re literally the only customer here.” He gives a nervous laugh, pausing for a second before scribbling something on the cup. “Will that be all?”

There’s no reason Ellis should feel guilty for putting that bummed expression on Gabriel’s face. There’s also no reason for Gabriel to take it personally. Why should Ellis go around and announce his name every single time he wants to get a stupid coffee? Surely, he can’t be the only one who feels that way.