Page 31 of Should Our Hearts Catch Fire

And the event was ten weeks ago, just a couple of weeks before the whole thing with Cal and the company went down. Which only reinforces his belief that Erikawascheating on himall along. In retrospect, Ellis should be glad that they broke it off right before he had to move to the Gold Coast.

“Then you might want to hit up the guy you fucked twelve weeks ago.”

He hears a sharp intake of breath before all hell breaks loose. “Fuck you, Ellis! Just because you’re afraid of commitment and admitting that—”

“I’m sterile.”

Whatever she was about to say never makes it out. “W-what?”

“I can’t have kids. I underwent a vasectomy years ago.” One of the first things he did after graduating.

“You…” she seethes. “How did I not know about this?! I was in a relationship with you for months! I deserved to know if the guy I was dating couldn’t have kids!”

“Erika, let’s stop the bullshit.” He’s tired and so fed up with being taken for an idiot. “Neither of us was pretending that this was something it wasn’t. Neither of us was planning a white-picket-fence future with the other.”

“That’s completely beside the point!”

“Let’s talk about something else, then,” he says, keeping his voice empty of emotion. “Like the fact that you were going behind my back. Or that when I caught you, you tried to make it my fault because, let me paraphrase, ‘I didn’t pay you enough attention’. Or that you’re trying to manipulate me into raising someone else’s baby. Either way, it doesn’t concern me.”

She’s quiet at first, breathing harshly, loud enough to hear through the phone. “You’re such an asshole, Ellis! Fuck you andyour guilt-tripping. If you weren’t such a boring, workaholic fuck, I wouldn’t have to go and seek comfort elsewhere!”

And there it is again.

“You definitely didn’t mind the perks that came with me being a workaholic. I don’t remember you complaining about me working so much when it got you nice jewelry or dinner at a fancy restaurant.

She sputters indignantly. “I was trying to be an independent woman and give you space!”

“Thanks for your consideration. Now that there are almost a thousand kilometers between us, feel free to forget about me.”

“I won’t listen to this,” she grits out. Ellis can hear her pacing. “How about you sort out your daddy issues before spewing judgment all around you? Just go and live your boring, dull life with your piece-of-shit company while you can, because no one will ever stand to be around you. You’re going to die alone, Ellis. And you’ll deserve it.”

The call disconnects.

Erika didn’t say anything he hadn't heard before. Yes, he’s boring. Yes, he’s a workaholic who doesn’t even like his job. Yes, he judges people because people are stupid. He knows all that.

So why does it hurt?

He’s not without fault. He was well aware what kind of person Erika was, be it her affinity for pretty, expensive things or the need to be the center of attention. Ellis could give her the former. He’s not good at the latter. So none of this is a surprise, is it?

He might complain about people using him for the money all the time, but what has he ever done to change it? Throwingmoney at people is easier than connecting with them. It’s his fault his relationships are so superficial.

He throws his head back against the headrest, hating himself a little more when he dials Erika’s number. She lets it ring five times, likely trying to prove a point, but eventually picks up.

“What do you want?” she snaps.

“Are you going to keep it?”

“How dare you— Of course I’m keeping my baby!”

Fine, then. “The father, will he help you raise it?”

She hesitates. “What is it to you?”

“I want to know if he’s competent to be a parent.”

“More than you would be, that’s for sure,” she says with derision, as if she hadn’t tried to rope him into parenthood just now.

“When it’s born…if something happens and you struggle raising it…I can help. Not raise it but…I can send you money. If you can’t afford a babysitter, or daycare, or…I don’t know. Something. I can help.”