Page 118 of Should Our Hearts Catch Fire

“Long story short, Dad freaked the hell out. Spiraled into depression. He was convinced my life would be hell, like his was. Obviously, he was happy with Mum, but you can’t expect someone to sort out your issues. Not that Mum didn’t try. She’s a nurse—fixing people is kind of her calling.”

Ellis doesn’t say that Gabriel managed to heal parts of him that had festered for decades. No, he can’t fix Ellis, nothing probably can, but he’s done more for him than he’ll ever realize.

“So he left? Just like that?” A swell of rage rises inside Ellis. Maybe he’s projecting his own shit, but the idea of Gabriel being abandoned by his dad as a defenseless child makes him see red and awakens his protective instincts.

“No. For months, he tried to make it work. When it became obvious he couldn’t, he made sure we were taken care of. Leftus enough money from his inheritance so we wouldn’t struggle.” Their gazes lock, and Ellis is stunned to find no trace of resentment in Gabriel’s. “I know he didn’t want to go, but he couldn’t take care of me. He was convinced he’d ruin my life.”

Ellis frowns. He doesn’t really get how Gabriel can be so calm, so collected when talking about this. Sure, almost three decades have passed, but Ellis is proof that time does not heal everything.

“Mum never moved on,” Gabriel carries on. “She still loves him, I can feel it. She even kept his name. Gave it to me too.”

“Cleaver?”

Gabriel nods. “The family name.” He chuckles. “When I was younger, I swore to change it once I turned 18.”

“But you didn’t.”

“I’ve changed a lot over the years.”

“So your mum says.” It’s still hard to picture Gabriel being any different. “Have they talked since?”

“No. Mum promised she wouldn’t look for him, it would make everything harder. Dad never told anyone where he’s going, not even his brother.”

Sounds like a load of bullshit.

“So none of you know where he is?”

Gabriel bites his lip. “I do.”

“You do? How?” Ellis demands, propping himself up on his elbow.

“I have my ways,” Gabriel says vaguely. He laughs at Ellis’ unimpressed expression. “Kieran.”

“Dawson’s friend?”

“I didn’t want anyone close to me to know I was looking for him, so I couldn’t ask Ash, nor Zeke. And I’m not very tech-savvy. My people-searching skills start and end with Facebook, which, shockingly, Dad doesn’t have.”

“Where did you find him?”

“Arrowtown.”

“New Zealand?” Seems like Australia wasn’t a big enough country to hide in.

“It’s his home country.”

Ellis blinks. “Wait a second, you’re half-Kiwi?”

Gabriel pouts. “Don’t discriminate.”

“Oh no, this is a big deal. I’m not sure we can date anymore.”

“Hilarious.” Gabriel’s features soften. “Arrowtown suits him. The place has, like, 3000 people. If I wasn’t an idiot, I’d have been able to find him too. He owns a small business, makes furniture and stuff. He worked as a carpenter when he was still with Mum. It should’ve been obvious.” Laughing, he says, “He even has a website. With his name and everything.”

“Did you contact him?”

“Kinda.”

“Kinda?”