Page 154 of Should Our Hearts Catch Fire

“Because he’ll always be a monster to me. He has to be. But he shouldn’t be to you.”

Ellis squeezes his eyes shut, drops his forehead to Cal’s shoulder, and justbreathes.

He doesn’t know how long they stand there like that, but at some point, Dawson and Gabriel come back. To their credit, neither of them mentions what they walk in on, although Ellis gets a few strange glances before it’s time to go home.

There’s heaviness in his stomach when he waits with Gabriel for the lift to arrive. He can’t shake the feeling there’s something he should’ve said. When the compulsion becomes too strong, he turns to Gabriel. “Can you hold the lift?”

Gabriel gives him a surprised look. “Sure. Something wrong?”

“No, I just forgot something.” He rushes back to the apartment, his hands shaking as he rings the bell.

Cal’s the one to open the door. “Oh. Did you leave something here?” He steps aside to let him in, but Ellis stays outside.

“No. I just… I needed to say something.”

Cal patiently waits for him to continue.

Ellis probably should’ve thought of what he wanted to say first.

“I’ve been thinking…”

“Yes?”

“There’s no reason I can’t have two brothers. For all I know, my dad has a bunch of illegitimate children anyway.”

Cal stares at him for so long Ellis wonders if he actually spoke out loud. Finally, his throat bobs, a shaky smile appearing on his lips.

“I like that logic. I don’t like being an only child.”

Ellis laughs, a sense of peace finally settling over him.

Maybe everything will be okay after all.

“Are you going to get in touch with your mum?” Gabriel asks in the car on their way home.

Ellis spilled the beans about his mum once they were alone, feeling like he’d burst if he kept it bottled up. Telling Gabriel definitely lifted a lot of weight off his chest.

“One day, maybe. When I’m strong like you. But not right now.”

Everything feels too fresh, too raw, too…justtoo.He’s starting to understand why Cal didn’t want to meet with her.

He feels Gabriel's energy brush against his own in a loving caress, all warmth and softness.

“You’re the strongest person I know, Ellis. You and my mum.”

He’s not. He really isn’t. He wishes he were more like Gabriel. More forgiving, more understanding, more empathetic. Unafraid to put his heart on the line, even if there’s a big chance it’s going to get crushed.

He’s not brave at all, but he loves that Gabriel sees him that way. It makes him want to live up to the expectation.

“Seems that your mum and I have more in common than I thought.”

Gabriel raises a curious eyebrow. “Oh, really? What else do you have in common?”

“We both like spicy food.”

“Whichyoushouldn’t eat, by the way,” Gabriel reminds him. “What else?”

“We both hate horror movies.”