Page 48 of Should Our Hearts Catch Fire

Ellis huffs. “I’ve heard.” He feels a pang in his chest when he remembers where—whomhe heard it from.

“Thank you for being here,” Dawson says, looking up at him with big, soft eyes. “You’re always here.”

He shrugs uncomfortably. “Family is family.”

“You were there for me when I needed you too,” Dawson reminds him.

Ellis fixes him with a firm look. “Youarefamily, Dawson.” He hates how vulnerable Dawson looks, hates himself for being one of the reasons for it. “I’m sorry we spent so many years being strangers.”

“Me too,” Dawson says wistfully. A sheepish smile curls his lips. “I feel like the moment warrants a hug.”

Ellis feels his own lips twitch, and he quickly covers it up by rolling his eyes. “Sure.” The hug is awkward and unfamiliar, different from the one he gave Dawson to comfort him. This time, it’s for his own benefit too, and he’s not sure what to do with that.

Not long after, the doctor comes back to let them know Cal is stable enough to have visitors, but isn’t awake yet.

“I’ll never get used to this,” Ellis says as he takes in Cal’s unconscious body. At least this time there are no bruises on his face, and he’s not hooked up to twenty different machines.

“Me neither,” Dawson agrees, taking a seat next to the bed. He carefully takes Cal’s hand that has an IV inserted into it, cradling it gently between his palms.

As Ellis watches them, a peculiar feeling grows in his chest, a sort of hollowness that feels like a long-forgotten memory.

His phone vibrates, and he looks away from the scene in front of him, almost grateful for the distraction. He curses when Amanda’s name flashes on the screen. He lets it go to voicemail, and curses again when a dozen unread messages glare at him. Between his erratic thoughts involving Cal or Gabriel, he completely forgot about work. Unbelievable.

He turns to Dawson. “I’ll be right back. Just need to step out for a bit to cancel the rest of my schedule.”

Dawson blinks up at him disorientedly. “You don’t have to do that. Look at him.” He nods at Cal. “He’s not waking up any time soon.”

Ellis hesitates. As much as he’d like to keep an eye on Cal, he’d rather not wait around for him to wake up. There’d be no point anyway, and he’d just end up being an anxious mess. On the other hand, he doesn’t want to leave Dawson alone.

“What about you?”

“I’ll need to go home too, for Donut. But I’ll be back later. I’ll let you know if anything changes.”

That makes Ellis feel a little better.

“How will you get home?”

“Uber. Or I can call Kieran.” He gives Ellis a small smile. “Don’t worry about me.”

Yeah, no such luck.

“Call me if you need me,” Ellis says after giving it a thorough thought. Here goes hoping that work will help him focus on something else.

Once in the car, he gives Amanda a call to explain the situation, leaving it in her scarily capable hands to reorganize his schedule.

Amanda is waiting for him when the lift opens on his floor, holding a large cup of what he assumes is coffee in one hand and an iPad in the other.

“Figured you’d need this,” she says, her features softened in sympathy. “You okay?”

“Swell,” he deadpans, taking the coffee with reluctance. The logo tells him it came from the small café on the ground level, and he suppresses a sigh. Gabriel has totally spoiled him. “Thanks for this.”

“Anytime, sugar,” she says, grinning when he glares at her. She turns the iPad towards him. “Your 10:30 will be here shortly.”

His head spins at the tightly packed colorful blocks filling the screen. He grunts noncommittally, knowing Amanda never takes his shitty attitude personally, and heads to his office.

Regarding the cup in his hand judgingly, he takes a small, cautious sip and instantly gags. The fact that the coffee didn’t come fromLost and Groundaside, his tastebuds must have reprogrammed because black coffee just tastes vile now, like bogwater. He dumps the whole thing in the trash. He’ll just have to go through the day uncaffeinated and miserable. It’s fine. The day was off to a shit start anyway.

Once at home, Ellis collapses onto the sofa, suit and all. He’d planned on going back to the hospital after work, hoping Cal would be up by then, but no such luck. Dawson instructed him to get some sleep instead, promising he’d call once there was any news. Ellis has no doubt Dawson himself will be staying the night at the hospital, but he didn’t call him out on it. Dawson probably wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway.