Page 77 of Should Our Hearts Catch Fire

“I just pay attention.”

“Well, it’s scary.”

“Would you rather I stop?”

“No.” No matter how scary it is, he doesn’t want it to stop. “Normally, I hate attention. Hate what people might see when they look at me.” His eyes meet Gabriel’s. “It’s different with you.”

Gabriel seems to hold his breath. “Different how?”

“I don’t know. Just different. It’s still scary, but a part of me desperately wants you to see me.” God, he can’t believe he admitted that out loud. It’s Gabriel’s fault—something about him makes it so easy to overshare. It’s like once the floodgates open, there’s no stopping the outpour.

“I see you,” Gabriel says, his expression as serious as Ellis has ever seen it. He sets aside the container, one of his hands coming up and cupping the side of Ellis’ neck.

Ellis shivers at the contact. The skin where Gabriel is touching him breaks out in goosebumps.

Gabriel watches him with half-lidded eyes, and when his thumb brushes ever so lightly over Ellis’ jaw, it’s all he can do to not make a sound. Is he really so touch-starved that such a simple, innocent contact nearly makes him melt into a puddle? Or is it just with Gabriel?

Their eyes lock, and the intense yearning he can see in Gabriel almost steals his breath away. Never in his life has anyone ever looked at him like this, like he’s the only thing worth paying attention to. It should terrify the living hell out of him, but instead he finds himself craving more. More of Gabriel’s attention, more of… Just more of Gabriel.

“Can I kiss you?”

It takes Ellis a moment to realize who’s spoken. It’s only when he tries to open his mouth to assemble words that it becomes clear it couldn’t have been him because his vocal cords have forgotten how to function.

When he finally gets them to cooperate, what comes out is a ragged, desperate “Yes.”

Gabriel looks like he’s surprised by the answer, and Ellis would kick himself for putting that expression on his face.

In the end it doesn’t matter, because Gabriel’s suddenly in his space, stopping just before their lips touch to give Ellis the chance to change his mind.

He’s not changing his mind.

With an unexpected surge of courage, Ellis leans forward and lets his mouth press gently to Gabriel’s. He can both feel andhear Gabriel’s intake of breath before his lips soften against Ellis’. Then Gabriel’s lips are moving, parting slightly and deepening the kiss—not much, but enough to send a shockwave all the way to Ellis’ fingertips.

Two things become strikingly clear at once.

One. There’s nothing terrifying about this.

Two. Ellis is deeply, royally screwed.

Gabriel pulls away first, his breath ghosting over Ellis’ tingling lips. “Is this—”

“Yes.” Unlike him, Ellis is far from gentle when his hands cup Gabriel's face and all but hold him hostage as he dives in for another kiss, firmer and more urgent than the first.

Gabriel makes a noise of surprise, but before long his fingers are curling in Ellis’ shirt, and whatever reservations he had seem to fly out of the window. When Gabriel’s tongue traces the seam of his lips, Ellis doesn’t hesitate to open up to him, his body jolting with an almost violent shudder. Gabriel doesn’t taste like sugar, but he tastes good, and right, and like Gabriel. Even the feeling of his barely-there stubble feels right and familiar, though logically, Ellis knows there’s nothing familiar about this.

There’s nothing familiar about kissing a man, not like this. There’s nothing familiar about wanting another person the way he wants Gabriel right in this moment.

When it starts to become almost too much, when Ellis’ whole being starts to feel like a raw wire, someone catcalls, causing them to break apart. It’s like being jostled awake with ice water, and it takes Ellis several seconds to find his footing.

Someone whistles again, making them laugh. Ellis can’t even find it in himself to feel embarrassed, his mind still reeling from the kiss.

Wanting to see if Gabriel looks as uprooted as Ellis feels, he lifts his gaze. And stares.

“Your eyes are glowing.”

Gabriel blinks, the golden glow starting to fade away “Shit.” He angles his body away, his shoulders growing tense.

“Are they actually glowing?” Ellis asks, dumbstruck. “I’ve seen it before. I thought I was imagining things.”