Page 70 of Should Our Hearts Catch Fire

Ellis laughs, hard enough that his shoulders shake. Is it always going to be like this with Gabriel? Is he always going to make Ellis feel everything a hundred times more intensely? The prospect is terrifying.

It’s kind of wonderful too.

Ellis:No can do. I was promised dinner.

Gabriel:Ugh.

Grinning like a maniac, Ellis pockets the phone before his fingers grow a life of their own and type out something he’ll regret.

He sits in the car for a while, just to digest everything that happened. And it’s alot.

He did it. He actually did it. He took a leap.

And now he’s falling.

Chapter 15

Half an hour later,Ellis is no longer so sure about having Jordan as a friend and is seriously considering express-shipping him back to Sydney.

“No.”

“Elliiis,” Jordan whines. “Youhave to. I can teach you the basics—”

“Please do not teach me anything.”

“—but you need to do some serious research. You can’t just whip it out and expect it to go smoothly.”

“I’m not whipping anything out.”

Giving no indication he heard him, Jordan jovially carries on. “And I know I’ve only met Gabe twice, but I’ll bet my left nut he’s a firecracker in bed. You better brace yourself.”

“Jordan, if you don’t shut the fuck up, I’ll help you,” Ellis growls. He’s starting to suspect that the burning sensation inhis chest has less to do with acid reflux and more with jealousy. Not that he has any right to feel jealous. He and Gabriel aren’t anything.

Yet.

Jordan has somehow managed to manifest a box of condoms out of thin air. “I know you’ve had a bit of a dry spell. These are extra lubed.” He pitches the box to Ellis, who catches it on reflex.

“I’m not sleeping with him on the first date!” He yeets the box back at Jordan.

“You never know what’ll happen.”

“I knowthiswill not happen.” Not that his mind hasn’t wandered…there. Not too far but to some…stuff.

He’s wondered what Gabriel looks like under the funny aprons and baggy t-shirts. If the cookie dough scent still clings to him after a shower. If kissing him would taste just as sweet. If they were to lose their clothes, would he be as patient with Ellis as he’s been so far? Would he get annoyed and frustrated if Ellis dragged his feet? He can’t reconcile that reaction with Gabriel’s lovely personality, but everyone has a breaking point. Gabriel won’t wait for him forever.

Maybe Ellis made a mistake. Maybe he shouldn’t have given Gabriel hope if he’s not sure he can follow through. What if he’s wasting Gabriel’s time?

Jordan snaps his fingers in front of Ellis’ face, frowning. “You got stuck in your own head again, didn’t you?” He sighs. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I just got a bit too excited.”

Ellis grimaces, the thoughts of his inadequacy promptly replaced by distaste.

“Not like that,” Jordan says with a laugh. “Well, maybe a little. But I mean it, Ellis—this is fucking wonderful. And I’m so proud of you. I think Gabe could be really good for you.”

Yeah, Ellis thinks so too. He just doubts he’d be good for Gabriel. “You’re biased. Of course you’d get excited about me dating a man.”

Jordan opens his mouth to protest but changes his mind. “Well, let’s face it—your taste in women sucks. So far, your taste in men is loads better.”

“Yeah, not sure about that. I kissedyouafter all.”