Page 46 of Should Our Hearts Catch Fire

“Yeah,” Ellis promises.

Gabe can only hope. There’s a good chance he just flushed everything down the toilet.

Guess I'll find out soon enough.

Chapter 10

Monday morning has Ellisstanding in the shower for a good twenty minutes, staring unseeingly at the charcoal gray tiles while hot water runs in rivulets down his body. He can feel himself turning into a cooked lobster but can’t get himself to move. Because once he’s stepped out, he just needs to put his clothes on and he’ll be on his way to get coffee.

And he’ll see Gabriel.

At the thought of warm, kind eyes and a cloud-breaking smile, his insides do something strange, a tingling sensation spreading through his abdomen and tinkering off into a low thrum under his skin.

He shivers, leaning forward to rest his forehead on the tiles. Good grief. He’s too old to have a sexual identity crisis. Definitely too old for Gabriel—who might be, as it turns out, pushing 30, but his bright, curious personality makes him too innocent. Way too innocent for the likes of Ellis, who only knows ruthlessness and manipulation.

Didn’t sound so innocent when he was dishing out all the sexual innuendos.

Great. Now he’s thinking of Gabriel and sex. That’s the last thing he needs.

His dick must be of a different opinion because it twitches, a rush of blood heading in the same direction as more thoughts of Gabriel take over his mind. Goddammit!

With a grunt of annoyance, Ellis switches the water off and steps out, drying himself with harsh strokes as if that could help him get rid of unwanted thoughts. He has more pressing matters to think about. Like the message Gabriel left him on Saturday, and what answer Ellis is going to give him.

Yeah, go ahead and pretend there’s anything to think about.

There’s plenty to think about. So many things to consider. Just because Ellis might feel…a certain way doesn’t imply he should go for it. Innocent or not, Gabriel is too good for him. Just remembering their first meeting has Ellis wanting to slam his head against a brick wall. Gabriel might have forgiven him, might even sympathize with him, but he doesn’t deserve a grumpy ass like Ellis, that’s for sure.

But then he thinks back on the moment he was sitting in his car on Saturday, the box with a cinnamon roll in his lap, waiting to be devoured. He can still feel the violent jolt of his heart as he flipped the box open, as he skimmed his gaze over what he’d assumed was another mysterious message. Instead, he found ten digits followed by four words that opened a door to what he’d promised himself he would never touch.

Have dinner with me? G.

His pulse spikes even now, just thinking of it all: the anxiety, the confusion, the fear. And the flicker of hope that set off a fire in his heart.

“Fuck it,” he growls, making quick work of taming his hair and throwing on his clothes, sans the tie. He doesn’t have the patience to faff with it right now.

He checks the time, cursing when he sees how long he’s been stalling. But if he hurries, he’ll get to the café nice and early, before anyone else comes in. It will be just him and Gabriel, and Ellis will have the chance to tell him…to tell him…

His phone goes off just as he grabs his car keys, and he frowns at seeing Dawson’s name. It’s not like him to call so early, unless…

With an ugly, foreboding feeling settling in his gut, he accepts the call. “Dawson? Is everything—”

“Cal’s at the hospital.” Dawson’s voice breaks on the last word.

“What? What happened?”

“I don’t—He just collapsed. Couldn’t breathe. I called an ambulance, but they wouldn’t let me ride with him.”

Hearing Dawson’s growing panic ironically quells Ellis’ own. Having something or someone else to focus on always helps him to keep his mind straight and to do what he does best—fix things.

“Where are you?” he asks calmly as he leaves the apartment.

“Home. I’m just headed to the garage—”

“No,” Ellis cuts him off. “You’re in no state to get behind the wheel. Wait for me, I’ll be there in five.” At least he’d had the foresight to get an apartment so close to Cal and Dawson’s.

“But—”

“Dawson. Breathe,” he orders gently when he senses Dawson is on the verge of hyperventilating. “It will be okay. I’m on my way.”