Page 123 of Should Our Hearts Catch Fire

A guttural groan rises from Gabriel’s chest. “Fuck, yes.” Withdrawing his fingers, he grabs the bottle of lube and squeezes a generous amount into Ellis’ hand. He guides itbetween his cheeks, drawing a sharp breath from both of them. “Start with two,” he instructs.

Swallowing hard, Ellis brings his trembling fingers to Gabriel’s hole, just circling it at first. Gabriel’s thighs clench, his cock twitching, pushing out a drop of precome.

“Jesus,” Ellis chokes out, feeling a sudden need to taste it. He pulls his hand back, much to Gabriel’s chagrin, and surges up to give him an apologetic kiss. Using it as a distraction, he smoothly flips them over so he can be on top.

Or attempts to.

“Fuck!” he gasps as a sharp pain pierces through his lower back.

Gabriel pushes up on his elbows, eyebrows pulled together. “What happened?”

“I think I threw out my back.” This used to be his best move.

Gabriel’s expression is stuck somewhere between sympathetic and entertained. “Yeah, sorry. I’m not exactly delicate.”

“No shit.” After a few controlled breaths, he tries to move, relieved to find his back is actually fine and he’s just a big drama queen. “Okay. All good. Now, where were we?”

“You were about to finger me until I begged for your cock.”

“Right. That.” When did his voice get so squeaky? Jesus.

Enjoying Ellis’ discomfort too much, Gabriel spreads his legs wide and lets his arms flop down by his head. His left eyebrow arches expectantly. “Well?”

“Impatient,” Ellis chides, slotting himself into the inviting space Gabriel has created for him.

“Nope. Horny.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Finding his fingers inconveniently dry, Ellis lubes them up again, waiting a few seconds to let it warm up.

“Elliiis,” Gabriel whines, his bottom lip sticking out in a pout.

“Not impatient, huh?” He leans forward and takes Gabriel’s cock into his mouth at the same time two of his fingers push inside.

“Shit!” Gabriel’s back arches off the mattress, one of his hands shooting down and latching onto Ellis’ bicep. “Fuck. Yeah, just like that.”

Ellis barely registers the words, his ears filled with white noise. All of his senses are focused on the tight, soft heat enveloping his fingers and Gabriel’s unique, sweet taste on his tongue. Whenever he withdraws his fingers, Gabriel’s body tries to pull him back in, his blunt fingernails leaving half-moon shaped marks in his skin. Gabriel’s head is thrown back, mouth slack and trying to form words Ellis can’t hear, though he thinks he can read some of them. Words likeso goodandmoreandplease.

It’s an addictive feeling, being needed—wanted—so desperately.

There’s a frantic tapping on his shoulder, trying to get his attention. Lightheaded and out of breath, he pulls off Gabriel’s cock but doesn’t remove his fingers. He doesn’t even remember adding a third one.

“What?” God, he sounds like…well, like he was just wrecking his throat on a dick.

Gabriel, of course, notices, grinning like a Cheshire cat. “What? I need a break. You’re way too good at that for a gay virgin.”

Hello, praise kink.“Bisexual virgin. And I learn fast.”

“Lucky me.” He makes grabby hands. It’s unfairly adorable. “Come here. I wanted to ride you, but I’m wiped. Sooo out of shape. You’ll have to do the hard work.”

“How optimistic to assume I’m in better shape after you’ve been feeding me all those cinnamon rolls.”

Pulling his fingers out, he stretches himself over Gabriel, indulging in a slow make-out session. This is yet another first for him. He’s had a lot of those lately, but not all of them have to do with being with a man. Having someone who understands him has nothing to do with Gabriel being a man. Being able to be completely himself around another person has nothing to do with Gabriel being a man. Having someone supporting him and listening to him has nothing to do with Gabriel being a man.

Pausing in the middle of sex just to kiss and touch each other, just to feel each other instead of barreling towards the finish line so it can finally be over has nothing to do with Gabriel being a man.

It has everything to do with Ellis finally realizing how he’s wasted so many years spending his energy on people who didn’t give two shits about him.

“Hey.” Gabriel’s palms frame his face, coaxing him to look up. “Where did you go?”