Page 121 of Should Our Hearts Catch Fire

“Sure, if you like to listen to a different guy being fucked every other night.” Gabriel’s face twists with disgust. “As insufferable as he is, Ash pretty much saved my life. He’s not like me, but he understands what it’s like to be different. That was most important.” He lets out a groan. “I hate to admit it, but he’s a really good therapist.”

“I’m glad you found some closure,” Ellis tells him, still in awe of how strong and amazing of a person Gabriel is.

“Me too. But…I wish I could tell Mum. About Dad.”

“Why don’t you? Would she be mad that you looked him up?”

“It’s complicated. Despite the promise, I think if she knew where he is, she’d want to see him.”

“And you don’t want that?”

“I’m…worried. For her, for him. When I went to see him, I didn’t go with the intention of reviving the past, or making up for the lost time or whatever. But Mum would. She still loves him, Ellis.” His eyes are pleading. “What would you do?”

“Nuh-uh. I’m the last person you should ask.”

“That’s not true,” Gabriel disagrees. “We have a lot in common.”

“I’m not like you,” Ellis says, tasting bitterness in the words. “I’m not sure I’ll ever find a way to forgive my mum for leaving. There’s no closure for me.”

“Your dad never talked about her? About what happened?”

“Not much. When he did, it was always in a way that made her look like the villain in the story. But seeing as my dad was a narcissist through and through, I soon learned I had to take everything he said with a grain of salt. A whole bag of salt, really.”

“I’m sorry.” Gabriel’s hold on him tightens. He snuggles closer until their noses touch. “I wish there was something I could do. A way to give you peace.”

God. Gabriel really has no idea. “You do. When I’m with you, it’s the most peaceful I’ve ever felt.” He takes Gabriel’s hand, placing a kiss on his knuckles. “You’re my solace.”

It takes immense effort to defy his natural response to run and hide, to not look away when Gabriel’s eyes bore into his, as if searching for the truth. He doesn’t have to look deep; Ellis feels exposed on a visceral level, cracked open at the place he’s spent all those years guarding, never letting anyone see.

Between one second and the next, Ellis finds himself on his back, blinking up at Gabriel’s lovely face. He’s looked at that face a million times, and each time he discovers something new, another thing to love. Like the tiny scar on his upper lip, which Ellis is definitely going to ask about later. For now, he just wants to kiss it.

He doesn’t need to lift a finger. Gabriel’s soft mouth descends on him, the kiss rougher and hungrier than Ellis would’ve done, but no less mind-blowing. A staggered moan reverberates between them when Gabriel’s body covers his, his hard cock pressing against Ellis’ stiffening one.

Gabriel peels his lips away to rasp out, “Ellis?”

“Yeah?”

A hand on his chest pushes him down when he tries to catch Gabriel’s mouth again. He groans in frustration. What is Gabriel thinking, riling him up like that and then just—

“Will you fuck me?”

Ellis’ brain short-circuits, losing its ability to form a semi-coherent thought. His visual imagination, on the other hand, lets loose. Unbidden images of Gabriel—of being inside him, connected on such a deep level—flood his mind. His body responds accordingly, making him feel feverish with how quickly it heats up, his mouth going dry when he tries to piece words together.

He goes to nod, when a very solid, alarming thought strikes him.

“Your mum’s next door.”

Gabriel rolls his eyes. “Listen.”

Not sure what he’s supposed to be listening for, Ellis strains his ears. The muted sound of snoring reaches him.

“It’s still weird.”

“You don’t seem to mind.” Gabriel says smugly, rolling their hips together.

Ellis tries to glare at him, but his eyes roll back. “It’s your fault,” he grunts.

Gabriel’s grin is proud. “I take full responsibility.” Then the little shit does it again, bracing himself on Ellis’ chest as he grinds against him.