Page 28

Mathéo

The whole drive home I have flashbacks of the best orgasms of my life. And fuck, that means something as I had a lot of them over the years. But I could never let go like that. With women, I always felt like I had to be in charge, take control, set the pace. Not with Micki. He took everything in his hands—literally. The thought makes me grin and my cock twitches in my pants.

***

I’m sitting in a meeting at work, remembering the weekend again. The way Micki pulled my boxers down yesterday morning was just too fucking hot. How he pressed me against the tiles in the shower. His long slender body firmly against mine, our cocks next to each other, against each other. The way his long fingers wrapped around my hard-on and grabbed it firmly, without any fear of hurting me. No inhibitions and no restraint. The way he jerked me off, hard and fast, his thumb in my slit over and over again. And then he reached for his cock with his other hand.

I toyed with the idea too, but I was too distracted—and too much of a coward. But I’m curious if I can drive Micki as crazy as he does me.

Probably not because, unlike him, I have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to men, but I think I want to give it a try.

“Mathéo? Mathéo!” My father, fuck. “Focus, for fuck’s sake! Where did I go wrong with you? I should’ve never given Dijon to you. You’ll drive us to ruin if you carry on like this!” No, I’m not, but the words stick in my throat. You don’t contradict my father.

***

Even if I had wanted to, there would’ve been no chance to imagine that I was with a woman when I was with Micki, not even with my eyes closed. Micki’s way of touching and holding me is too different, his body feels too different against mine, and fuck, in this case different is so good. I want it to be good for him too, but I don’t really know how and I’m not the type to just wing it. That’s why I’m still sitting in the office at 8:30 on a Wednesday night googling “gay sex”.

Maybe I should have done this at home, because my cock is straining in my suit pants, and I certainly can’t get any relief here. Not to gay porn—hell, not to any porn.

To be honest, I didn’t assume I’d react this way. Men never did it for me. I’m not into men. But Micki does it for me and the guy bent over the desk getting fucked from behind has a cute little ass too.

Just the idea of Micki here in my offic e— ah fuuuck. My father would freak out if he knew I’m toying with the idea of fucking a man in my office.

For my father, being gay is an afront, as is not behaving in according to your gender—whatever that means. He would detest Micki. No, he will detest Micki. The day will come when I introduce Micki to my parents and either they can accept him as my partner, or I’ll be gone.

My own thought surprises me, but only for a few seconds, because I’ve never rebelled against my father before. But just the idea of being without Micki, without the only person in the world who knows everything about me, and still looks at me with so much love in his eyes? I wouldn’t give him up for anything in the world.

Maybe I’m not quite as straight as I always thought, because the next three clips are equally... hot. Admittedly, this new realization is odd, so I quickly switch to porn with women. The girls are small and cute, their boobs bounce and swing, the screams are high and shrill—and my cock sinks to half-mast.

They would’ve never been my type, but they would have done the job. But not today. Maybe it’s because I now have a partner who is exactly my type? Maybe my type has always been feminine man and not tomboyish woman, and I’ve just subconsciously fought it?

My father uses the word “gay” in his everyday language for men who don’t fit his ideal of manhood due to their emotional or physical constitution. In short, my father is a homophobic asshole. I was never allowed to do what I wanted, and I was never allowed be who I am. I have never been enough for him, and because of that, I couldn’t even think about being gay on top of that.

I think back the last twelve years, to the countless women, and try to find one that I was really attracted to. There was one, but I didn’t sleep with her. Because she didn’t want me. Not a classic beauty, not a typical girl, not one who threw herself at me. Nika. She’s the only one I really wanted.

Lost in thought, I stare out of the window into the dark night for a while. The streets are still busy, and the headlights of the cars form two glowing snakes that slowly wind their way through the city. Is it important how I label myself? Does it really matter? I am in love. At 27, for the first time in my life, I feel butterflies when I think about another person. I enjoy being with him, spending time with him, no matter what we do, and I miss him the moment I get in my car and have to drive away. So much so that it hurts. Isn’t that what it’s all about? Exactly that feeling? The feeling of coming home when you’re holding the person you’re in a relationship with?

My alarm clock snaps me back to reality. I have to get going. Micki will be home calling me in half an hour, and I want to be in bed by then so that all I have to do is roll over and fall asleep when we hang up.

***

After getting nowhere with my research yesterday, I’m slightly nervous now. I now know that gay porn is hot, but since I can’t really imagine having sex with Micki yet, that’s not useful information. I need more of a beginner’s level and porn doesn’t seem to be the right place for that. I need someone to ask, but out of my friends, only Tom knows that I’m with a man, and I don’t think he can actually help me. élias knows, of course, but it’s the same. Adrien would be a possibility. He also knows that I have no experience with men, which means he’ll not be surprised when I ask stupid questions. Right?

Before I lose my courage, I search for him on Instagram and quickly find him among the few people Nika is following. Adrien Delfosse. The surname rings a bell, and I immediately wonder if he has any relation to the big investment company that made the news last year when the owner and CEO died.

His son had inherited the company, but didn’t want to take it over and sold it for 575 million euros. I plan to look into it some other time, there are more important things right now and I start typing.

“Hey Adrien! You’re probably wondering why I’m texting you and this might sound stupid, but I could use your help.” Okay, so far it’s been easy. “You know I’m with Micki and I’ve only ever been with women before, so I don’t have any idea what he might like...” No, I can’t write that.

I’m just about to delete everything when I slip and press enter. Shit! I frantically try to call the message back when it says read underneath. FUUUCK!

“Hey! Are you still online?” It’s a shitty move if I ignore him, right? I just need to be cool with this. Fun fact: I’ve never been cool with anything. That’s why I’ve never let anyone get close to me.

“Yep.”

“Call me!” Below that a phone number pops up. I’ll never get out of this; it was a shitty idea but now I’m stuck. I dial nervously and Adrien answers on the first ring. I can hear the smirk in his voice. But not in a nasty way, that’s not his nature.

“Okay, let’s get straight to the point. You want to know how to get Micki hot?”

I guess we’re diving right in. “Yes?”

“Have you already done a bit of research or am I your first source of information?”

“Um... I’ve watched some porn, but it didn’t really teach me what I need.”

Adrien laughs, soft and deep. “I’m glad you see it that way. The thing is, I can’t tell you what Micki likes or doesn’t like, because I’ve never been with him. And what he likes is totally individual, just like with women I assume, though I don’t know about that. But there is a very strong advantage in a relationship with a man.”

“And that would be?” Nervousness spreads through my stomach.

“You’re one too! And as long as you don’t have any ultra rare kinks, you can assume that your partner will like what you like.” Okay, that makes sense. I’m annoyed that I didn’t think of that myself. “Does that help you?”

“Yeah, absolutely. Thanks. Seriously, I don’t have a clue what I’m doing and I want it to be good for him too.”

“If you keep that as your goal, you won’t do anything wrong. Pay attention to Micki; watch to his reactions and don’t forget, Micki is not an inexperienced man. He knows what he wants, and he knows what he’s doing. Let him take you by the hand, I’m sure he’ll love discovering this new world with you. But if you need a few more details, Philipp always reads these romance novels. If you want, I can send you some links to good, realistic stories.”

I only read the news, but it can’t hurt and I’m curious. “Yes, I’d love that.”

“Do you need anything else?”

Without thinking, the next question pops out of my mouth. “Was Albert Delfosse your father?”

There is silence at the other end of the line. Then Adrien clears his throat. “What makes you think that?”

“I saw on your Instagram profile that your surname is Delfosse and it’s a rather rare name.”

He exhales audibly. “What do you know about Albert Delfosse?”

“I know that he died last year and that his son sold the company to a group of investors for over half a billion.”

“His son sold the company because his father stipulated in his will that he could only run the company if he lived in a traditional partnership. Marriage to a man was therefore ruled out.”

I gasp audibly. “Are you serious?”

“I am completely serious. And my father knew what he was doing. He changed his will accordingly after our wedding. He appointed me as his sole heir, but with this clause.”

“So, that means your parents never accepted that you’re gay? You’re gay, aren’t you?” I’d rather ask once too often, all these labels make me terribly insecure and I don’t want to do anything wrong.

“Yes, I’m gay and no, they didn’t. At first they just ignored it and didn’t take it seriously. When Philipp and I got together and they realized they could no longer deny it, they cut me out of their lives. They never wanted to get to know Philipp.”

This could be my reality too. No, that will be my reality, there’s no other way. But I know I’m ready to live it. My father is a homophobic asshole, and my mother does as he pleases and obeys his every word. “And how did you feel about that?”

“It was tough at first, but I already had distanced myself a bit, and my life was no longer in Paris. And Philipp has a great family. Do you know élias’s parents?”

“Yes, why?” élias’s parents are insanely nice people.

“Philipp’s parents are just like that. They took me in like a third son. I don’t know Micki’s parents, but Micki’s sisters are cool. I’m sure they’ll welcome you with open arms too.”

***

“Ah, shit! I’ve missed you.” A slender, almost petite body presses against me, but I don’t need to bend down to get the long-awaited kiss. Just lower my head a little and those lips are already there, making my whole body tremble.

“Is that so? Tell me more.” A smoky voice breathes into my ear and if I wasn’t already rock hard, this would have been the moment my cock woke up. My hands grip Micki’s hips and I take three steps to push him to the wall so that our hard dicks press against each other. I slowly slide my hands up under his T-shirt, along his narrow flanks.

I feel every single rib as I take his top with me on my way up and slip it over his head. Micki immediately drops his gaze, as if he’s hiding from me. As if it makes him uncomfortable when I see him like this. His dark curls fall into his face and cover his beautiful eyes.

“Hey, why do you always do that? Why are you hiding?” I gently pull Micki’s chin up until he looks me in the eye again.

“It’s not the look you’re used to when you take off a top.”

“And that’s a good thing.” My thumb gently strokes his left nipple and, with a soft moan, goose bumps form all over Micki’s upper body. “Can you feel that?”

My hips roll forward and press into his crotch. Micki’s head falls back with a loud groan. “Yes...”

“And why do you think that is?”

Instead of an answer, he just shakes his head, whimpering, as I rub my hard-on against his once again. “Never in my life has it felt better to be touched and never in my life has it felt better to touch someone. I love your body.”

With gentle kisses, I move from his shoulder over his collarbone to Micki’s lower jaw when it bursts out of him. “But I’m a man.”

“Oh yes, there’s no doubt about that.” My tongue licks at his nipple and my left hand grips firmly between his legs. My mind is trying to intervene loudly asking me if I’ve lost my mind. Mathéo, what the fuck are you doing?

But my mind can go fuck itself. I’ve had a lot of time to think over the last week. About myself and my sexuality and what I want. Not with just any man, but with my partner, with Micki.

“I want you. With everything you are. I don’t want to hold back, and I don’t want to think too much about it. I just want to do what feels good.” I’ve never touched a dick before, apart from my own of course. That’s going to change now. All my insecurity is blown away. Micki is insecure enough for both of us and that feels so wrong. My Micki, who knows who he is and the effect he has on men, should never doubt himself. I reach behind his thighs and pull him up and, as if by reflex, he wraps his legs around my hips, clinging to me.

He is so much lighter than I expected. I carry him into the bedroom without any effort and lower him onto the bed. Micki holds me tightly, trying to pull me down to him, but I have other plans and he’s still wearing far too many clothes.

“Nope.” Grinning, I shake my head. “My turn.”

“Mathéo, you don’t have to...”

Two of my fingers rest on Micki’s soft lips. “I know, mon chou. But I want to.” And with those words, he sinks back on the bed.

I make short work of his pants and underwear. Micki’s cock jumps out of his boxer briefs as I lift the waistband. I could tease him a little more and prolong the whole thing, but if I’m being honest, I’m too scared that I’ll lose my courage somewhere along the way, so I just go for it.

My fingers close around Micki’s hard-on and his whole body trembles. I love how responsive he is—and oh my god—I love how his dick feels in my hand, silky and smooth. I don’t ever want to let go. The sounds sneaking out of his mouth as my hand slides slowly but firmly up and down his cock are super hot. He moans, he whimpers, he groans, and he talks. Incoherent and mindless, but so sexy. “Ah shit, that’s good. So good, Schnuck. Don’t stop, Schnuck. Fuck. Can you see the stars too? Everywhere. So bright I can feel them...”

His closed eyelids flutter and his back arches. Damn, he’s flexible. Images of when we first met flash in my memory. Micki with his head in my crotch and his legs spread out in front of me in a perfect sideways split. Fuck, the things we could do in that position naked.

My jeans are getting more and more uncomfortable, and I try to get rid of them without letting go of Micki. Not an easy task, but somehow I manage. My left hand slides into my boxer shorts while my right thumb just grazes over Micki’s glans, sending a tremor through his body.

With the amount of precum he’s leaking, my hand glides easy and fast up and down his entire length. I can feel his breathing change, how he’s holding his breath, then inhaling and exhaling jerkily.

“I’m close... ah...” And with that, strings of cum spurt out of his twitching cock over his stomach and chest. It feels like he isn’t going to stop, as shivers keep running through his body and my cock twitches in my hand.

Why is it so damn hot? Why? My mind doesn’t understand, but my body takes over. My eyes search for Micki’s. As if of their own accord, my hands pull my boxers further down and I grab back ahold of my own cock. Micki’s pupils are wide, his eyes almost black and yet they seem to get a little darker at the sight.

“Yes, Schnuck. Come on me. Show me, I’m yours.” When women opened their mouths during sex it was always a huge turn-off, with Micki it makes me want more. “Come on. This is all yours. Take it!”

Ah, fuck yes, it’s all mine. I pump faster and faster, I’ve now switched back to my right hand and my left hand slowly runs up his firm belly with its light lines to a small but firm dark brown nipple.

“Come for me, Schnuck.” And I do. Hard, so fucking hard.