Page 27

Micki

“Hey!” A hand snaps right in front of my nose in a sweeping motion and I startle. “Stand in line! We’re on stage in two!” Nika, as friendly as always. I take a quick look around to take in where I am.

We are at a competition in Freiburg. It’s a big, cross-border event with French and German crews. We are competing as the defending champions and that increases the pressure even more. Especially because the other crews are working hard and killing it out there.

“What’s wrong with you? You’ve been completely out of it all night. Hell, for the last two weeks. Is it because of that guy the others are talking about? The one you kissed? Is there something going on? Sam said it looked serious. Why don’t we know anything about him?”

Nika and Philipp weren’t there that night because neither of them likes clubs. The others only saw Mathéo once at the wedding and he looked different in a suit and slicked-back hair than he did in jeans, a polo shirt and his messy short curls. And yes, it’s a valid question why I didn’t tell my two best friends that Mathéo and I are dating, but it felt so surreal after the first weekend. And it still does.

Every time he calls, I’m afraid he’ll tell me that he can’t do it after all. We saw each other last weekend and while we didn’t get any closer physically, he didn’t pull away either. His hands were shaking and everything about him was stiff except his cock. Being touched was easier for him, but I don’t know, maybe he imagines a woman touching him.

He leaned against me, he took me in his arms, cuddled up to me, and at night he held me close to him. And he kissed me. I’ve never been kissed like that in my life. Mathéo is demanding, only to lose himself completely in the kiss and give away all his control. I keep falling further and further for him, and I’m scared.

“He’s here tonight.” I swallow the lump in my throat.

“No shit? Has he ever seen you dance before? Is that why you’re so nervous?” I can’t stop my smile.

“I’ve been dancing with him.” Nika’s beautiful face contorts into a big question mark.

“I don’t get your problem then. Who is it? Do I know him?”

“That’s possible.”

Frenetic clapping reaches us. The other dancers leave the stage and it’s our turn. I see him the moment I step onto the stage. The spotlights are still on the audience until we are in position. That’s how we want it, we want to know who’s watching us, we want to see our people.

Mathéo is hard to miss. Front row, right side, together with élias and Adrien. None of them is under 6’3” and each man towers over the crowd, next to each other it’s almost comical.

His gaze catches mine and a shy smile lights up his blue eyes. I knew he wanted to meet up with élias, but I didn’t know if it had actually worked out. To be honest, I thought he backed out because Nika and Philipp hadn’t said anything. The two of them seem surprised as they look at each other and communicate wordlessly.

Stunned is the probably the better word as far as Nika is concerned. But for me, only one thing matters: he’s here, for me. A warm tingling sensation spreads through my stomach, and I’m fully focused the moment the spotlights turn on the stage.

“Is there something you have to tell us? Or is it a coincidence that our husbands are out there with the same man who broke your heart two months ago?”

“What the hell is he doing here?”

While Philipp is still trying to keep his tone calm and approachable, Nika simply blurts out her question. I nervously brush a curl out of my forehead and try to tuck it behind my ear. “He’s here for me.”

“What do you mean? He made it very clear that he isn’t into men.”

Oh yes, I remember that vividly. But I’ll also never forget the first time he kissed me. How he took my face in his hands. “Maybe not everything is always as black and white as it seems at first glance.”

I sense Nika’s doubt and worry, but I’m not surprised. She doesn’t know Mathéo the way I know him, so I can see where she’s coming from.

“Leave it. Come on, let’s go. élias and Adrien are probably already waiting. And Mathéo too, I’m sure.” I nod gratefully to Philipp, who is doing his best to save the situation and calm us all down.

Nika doesn’t answer, but trudges resolutely forward, straight towards Mathéo. With her index finger deep in his chest, she comes to a halt in front of him.

“I’ll never forgive you for what you did to élias, but if you hurt Micki, I’ll finish you off. I’ll take everything that’s ever meant something to you.”

Mathéo snorts briefly, as his gaze falls to the floor and he shakes his head. “There’s nothing to take away from me if I no longer have Micki.” With these words, he turns to me and wraps both arms tightly around me. “I’ve missed you,” he whispers tenderly in my ear, then his large hands cup my cheeks and his full lips find mine.

I feel my friends’ eyes on me and I smirk into Mathéo’s lips. “What is it?” His words are just soft whispers.

“Nika has something to say, but she’s holding back...” I say as a pull away.

“Whoa, okay. I don’t take back anything I said. But you really mean it, don’t you? Fuck...” Nika says.

“Nika, sweetie...” It is really sweet how élias tries to keep his wife in check. But Nika has no filter and that will never change. Mathéo and I both smile, forehead to forehead.

I’m only wearing sneakers and despite my 6’2” height, I have to stretch a bit. I love this feeling of looking up at someone, looking up at my man. Mathéo’s gaze still holds mine as he answers her. “Yes, I mean it. It took me a bit to understand and accept it. But there’s no going back for me.”

My heart opens. No one has ever spoken about me like this before.

***

The night is long. It’s after midnight when the award ceremony is finally over and almost 2:30 when Mathéo and I turn into my street looking for a parking spot. He left Dijon straight from work and is now taking a small duffel bag out of the trunk. Just knowing that he will be mine for the next two days makes my heart beat faster. Mine. If someone had told me that six months ago, I would have flipped them the bird.

We are both beat when we finally fall into bed. Mathéo slides in behind me, putting his hand on my stomach and pulling me tightly against him. “Sleep well, mon chou.”

The nickname alone is enough to make my eyes water, and I cuddle up tightly in his arms.

The next morning, I wake up to gentle fingertips stroking my shoulders and over my back, and it feels so good that I don’t want to open my eyes. But as gentle kisses move down my spine, it’s impossible to pretend I’m sleeping for one more second.

I quickly turn in Mathéo’s arms, wanting to see him and, above all, kiss him. A deep moan leaves Mathéo’s mouth as my lips press against his and my tongue seeks its way into his mouth. He lets out a sound that’s not a grumble, it’s more like a purr from a big cat. A tiger maybe.

We lie like this for a long time. My naked chest against his. I can feel his warm skin and his short chest hair, which spreads over his stomach before disappearing into his waistband. His three-day stubble scratches my lips and I love the feel of it so much so that I don’t want to let him go when he carefully lifts his head.

A chuckling laugh breaks the silence, and I open my eyes. Mathéo smiles down at me with a soft gaze and there is so much love in it. I can’t remember a man looking at me like that before. Not to fuck me, not as prey, but...

“You are so beautiful. So incredibly beautiful.” He shakes his head in disbelief. “I never had a chance, you know. I saw you and at that moment I knew I’d never find anyone as fascinating as you.” My heart flutters as he slides his fingers over mine and continues. “Your large hands, the long, delicate fingers...” Mathéo’s fingertips trail along my arm. “Your narrow but firm shoulders ...” A shiver runs through my body. Goosebumps cover my skin as his short fingernails tickle my flank and I feel myself getting hard. Fuck. My eyes fall shut as he circles my nipples. “You might not believe this, but big breasts were never my thing, quite the opposite. This deep cleavage with nothing underneath but two small hard nipples got me so hot.” He bites his lower lip for a moment, my nipple still between two of his fingers, and I have to make an effort to stay calm even though I’m melting on the inside.

“Still does.” Fuuuck.

“Are you hard for me?” I whisper.

“Yes ...” I can hear the hesitation and uncertainty in his voice, but also the longing and desire.

“Can I touch you?” Mathéo’s pained look hurts. He wants to say yes, but his mind fights him. Almost invisibly, his head moves in a hint of a nod. “Say it. I need to hear it. I need to be sure you want this and you’re not just doing it because you think you have to.”

I see him swallow and I hear him take a deep breath. “Please touch me.” His whisper is rough and soft, but his tone is firm.

I slowly straighten up, pressing Mathéo back onto the mattress. After one more look to make sure he’s in this, I pull his boxer shorts down.

Mathéo’s cock jumps up at me, long, thick and veiny and so absolutely gorgeous that I can’t help humming appreciatively.

I’ve seen his dick before, but the thought of putting my hand around it for the first time and gripping it tightly does things to me. If I was naked, I could easily keep up with him, that’s how hard I am for him. He’s so damn sexy.

With a feather-light touch, I slowly slide my fingers up his thighs and a shiver runs through Mathéo’s body. His eyes hold mine with a steady gaze as my fingers encircle his cock. I wait for Mathéo’s head to fall back and his eyes to close, but it doesn’t happen. Instead, a trembling moan escapes his clenched lips.

My grip is firm, my strokes slow as my hand slides up and down his length again and again. I think he likes it, but he’s so quiet, it unsettles me. His breathing is uneven and shaky, his chin twitches. With a little pressure, I run my thumb over Mathéo’s tip and take the precum as lube. The moment my fingertip presses into his slit, Mathéo’s hips shoot up.

“Ah, fuck. So good. Why is that so good? Shit! Ah... don’t stop...”

A satisfied grin flits across my face. “Don’t stop, huh?” I close my fingers tightly around the base of his cock. “Is that what you want?”

“No, ah, the other thing. Fuck.”

“Ah, you want this?” My hand pulls up and with a little twist and some pressure, my thumb slides over his tip again and his eyes fall shut.

“Ah, yes! Just like that! How can you be so good at that? Fuck! Don’t stop, don’t stop...” Mathéo is squirming, talking incessantly, spurring me on, wanting more, moaning and begging. He’s letting go completely and I wouldn’t have thought him capable of that, at least not yet, but it’s so hot.

While my right hand is working Mathéo’s cock, I reach into my boxer briefs with my left. I’m rock hard and my dick is begging for attention.

Mathéo is on the edge. His breathing is compressed and irregular, his body as tense as a tightrope. His eyes are narrowed, his face distorted. Nothing more is left of his babbling than a pathetic whimper. “Shit, now, Micki, I’m coming, oh fuck... FUUUCK!”

He doesn’t get any further, because the moment he starts to come, I take his cock as far as I can down my throat.

“Fuck... what are you doing? Oh my God, fuck! Fuck!” Mathéo’s hips shoot up and I cough as my gag reflex kicks in. “Oh God, I’m sorry! Shit! Are you okay? Oh my God! I didn’t mean to, I...”

I’m not sure Mathéo knows what he’s doing as his hands grip my hair and hold my head in place. In a firm rhythm, he lifts his hips again and again, fucking my mouth without a hint of restraint as his orgasm ripples through his body. I came the moment I felt his salty cum on my tongue.

Mathéo’s lying next to me, completely spent. His cock is limp, but I can’t resist taking it in my mouth again, licking off the last drops. A pathetic whimper leaves his mouth and Mathéo quickly swings his arm in front of his eyes to hide in his elbow. With my lips still surrounding his cock and my tongue playing, my eyes don’t leave his beautiful face. I can’t see much except the red marks on his pale skin and his soft mouth with its gently curved lips, which contorts painfully with every breath.

When his upper lip starts to tremble, I know something is wrong. Very wrong. Have I done something? Did I go too far? This was his first time with a man, maybe I shouldn’t have used my mouth.

I gently let him slide out and lie down, my hand on the arm above his eyes.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“What are you doing to me?” There’s not much left of his usually firm voice other than a soft cry. “I’m serious. What are you doing to me? I don’t understand it. Everything is so much more with you. And I know it’s wrong, but how can something that feels so good be so wrong? How? Tell me! How!?” Mathéo’s face is contorted in pain, tears run down his temples, but he doesn’t wipe them away.

To say his words don’t hurt would be a lie and yet I’m glad he spoke them out loud. “Nothing about us is wrong. Nothing about what we do is wrong. Love is never wrong.”