Page 47 of Penance (Rising From the Ashes #2)

Theo

A fter we leave the jail, I hate Zeb Ellis more than I ever have, but he may also be my only hope of winning the custody case—that is, if I choose to believe what he told me. I haven’t decided yet.

I dropped Morgan off at his car with a promise to call social services again about Mia. He left with a broken heart, and I left even more determined to help him figure out a way to get her back.

I’m walking through my front door, getting ready to make that call, when Tanner appears in my line of vision. It’s the first time I’ve seen him in a week. He’s been staying at Josephine’s house, and if I’m honest, I didn’t expect him to come back.

“Hey, kid. I—uh—didn’t know you were coming over.”

My throat aches from everything I want to say to him, but before I can, he throws his arms around my neck.

“I’m sorry, Dad,” he cries.

My hands come up, wrapping him in a hug and holding the back of his head.

“Hey,” I say, soothingly. “What is this about?”

“I’ve treated you awful this summer. I was—was angry at you,” he sniffles. “For leaving me with mom, for loving alcohol more than me. I was so angry and didn’t give you a chance.”

His words are broken and muffled by my shirt, but guilt is like an old friend. I can recognize it when I see it.

I pull him back just enough for him to look at me. “Tanner, you did nothing wrong. You had every right to be angry—to work through those emotions. I understood them.”

He shakes his head, tears streaming down his cheeks. “But I want to understand you too, Dad. Will you tell me your story?”

I freeze. I’ve never told him my story because I never wanted him to hate Josephine like I did. She’s his mom, but Lily’s words have stuck with me.

“My mom—isn’t like you. She never wanted to get better, but growing up, I would have done anything to understand her. I guess all I’m trying to say is that maybe your kid wants you to let him in.”

It’s time I let him in. “Yeah, kid. I will. Come on, let’s sit.”

I guide him to the steps and try to figure out where to start.

Swallowing, I start from the beginning. “My dad was an alcoholic, and I grew up never wanting to be like him. He was mean and abusive, and I promised myself that if I ever had a kid, I’d be the exact opposite of him.

So when I found out your mom was pregnant, I did everything I could to be a good dad, including marrying your mom. ”

Tanner’s brows furrow. “Did you not love her?”

“That’s hard to answer,” I say, scratching my jaw. “We were young, and neither realized that loving someone isn’t just a feeling. It’s showing up for someone even when it’s hard, and as teenage parents with no money, a lot of things were hard.”

“But I thought Mom had money? Grandpa and Grandma do.”

I knew this part would be hard because it doesn’t just make his mom look bad. It will shatter his view of several people he cares about, but I’ve come to realize that their guilt is not mine to hold.

“As long as your mom was married to me, they would not speak to her anymore. They cut her off, and your mom—she was used to living in luxury. It was a hard adjustment for her, and I understood. Her whole world changed, but I tried to take care of her the best I could. We started fighting, though, even before you were born, and that teenage love was no longer enough. I no longer loved her for her—I loved her because of you—and I think she knew that, too.”

Tanner’s voice is quiet when he asks, “Do you think she loved you?”

I shake my head. “No, kid. I don’t. After you were born, our financial situation became even tighter than it was before.

I didn’t mind. I’d survived on less, and you were being taken care of.

That was all that mattered to me, but your mom—she was tired of living that way.

She went back to your grandparents, but the only way they would let her back into their lives was if she divorced me. ”

“I begged her not to go because I didn’t want to spend a day away from you, but she filed for divorce anyway.

I thought we would split custody, but I was wrong.

So very wrong.” A band wraps around my chest, and I stare at my hands.

“I don’t know if it was your mom’s idea or another thing your grandparents demanded, but she asked for full custody—and she won because of money.

” A harsh snort leaves my throat. “I never cared that I didn’t have money—but I did that day.

I couldn’t even afford a lawyer. I defended myself, and I lost. I lost you. ”

I finally work up the nerve to look at Tanner. Silent tears stream down his face, and I reach up to wipe them away. “I started drinking that day because I couldn’t take the pain of losing you, and once I realized the alcohol numbed it, I kept drinking.”

“Why?” Tanner asks, his voice breaking. “Why would she do that? Why doesn’t she just want me to be happy?”

“I think in her own way, she wants you to be happy,” I say, defending her. “But I don’t think she knows how to be happy.”

Tanner doesn’t say anything for several moments. I can see the wheels turning behind his eyes, and then he says, “Thank you, Dad.”

I lift my brows. “For what? ”

“For telling me your story.”

Tears clog my throat, making it hard to speak, so I just nod instead, looking away so I don’t completely fall apart.

“Dad?” Tanner says, and I turn my head to look back at him.

“I’m sorry I let my jealousy cloud what you were doing for Morgan.”

“Kid—” I start, but he shakes his head.

“No, Dad. I understand now. And I—I’m proud of you.”

Four words. That’s all it takes for the last parts of me to heal.

______________________

On the day of the custody hearing, I’m a ball of nerves. Not only will this seal my son’s fate, but I’ll also have to face Lily for the first time since confessing that I love her—if she still shows up.

I meet Tanner in the parking lot, and we walk in together. He talks about his day while we walk, and I listen. We’ve spent the last couple of days getting to know each other, and it’s been more than I could ever dream of.

My lawyer, Josephine, and Eric are already waiting when we enter the courtroom. My ex-wife and her husband sit on their side with smug grins as I walk in. They think they have won. I head toward Mr. Abbott, expecting Tanner to go over to his mom’s side, but to my surprise, he follows me.

When I look at him, he puts his hand on his neck and looks uncertain. “Is it okay if I sit here?”

Despite where we are standing, happiness tugs at my chest. “Of course it is, kid.”

He pulls out his chair, and I look over at Josephine. If she’s angry, Eric is downright murderous.

Judge Ranker walks in, his robes billowing around him, all while my heart hammers.

While he’s getting seated, I let my eyes roam over the crowd, searching for Lily, and when I find her, standing toward the back, the world goes still.

Lily stares back at me, her blue eyes enough to make a man’s heart stop. Everything about her is put together, but underneath, I can see the turmoil brewing. She’s beautifully broken.

Judge Ranker bangs his gavel, and I jerk my attention away from Lily to the door at the back of the courtroom and then to the judge.

“We are here again for the custody review between Theo Sylvis and Josephine Westbrook.” The judge looks at me.

“Mr. Sylvis, I’m not usually one for gossip, but in times like these, it can be helpful—especially in this town.

It has come to my attention that the only thing you’ve managed to accomplish this summer is a failed relationship.

It has also come to my attention that in the past few weeks, your son has been exclusively living with his mother. Care to explain?”

I swallow hard, my eyes darting to the door again. On one side of me, Tanner fidgets in his chair, but on the other, my lawyer looks calm, far calmer than I do.

“We had a misunderstanding, Your Honor.”

The judge lowers his glasses to the end of his nose and stares at me over the top of them.

“A misunderstanding?” He asks in disbelief.

“Yes, Your Honor. Tanner and I had a lot to work through due to my absence in his life.”

Judge Ranker hums. “And have you figured it out?”

I glance at Tanner. “We have.”

Josephine snorts, bitter to the very end, but Tanner smiles back at me. And with that smile, I know that no matter what happens here today, it won’t be the end of our relationship. Tanner is old enough to make that decision for himself now—even if I don’t end up with custody.

Suddenly, the door at the back of the courtroom flies open, and Hayes and Campbell saunter in. They are both dressed in their uniforms, Campbell with his arms tucked beneath his vest and Hayes with a piece of paper in his hand.

“What is this?” Judge Ranker demands. “You are interrupting my courtroom.”

Hayes smirks. “Sorry, Your Honor, but I have a warrant for Mr. Westbrook’s arrest.”

Josephine gasps, her hand flying to her chest as if scandalized at the mere thought, and Eric stands up, knocking over his chair.

“On what charges?” He bellows. His face is turning red, and spit flies from his mouth.

Hayes takes his time answering, walking the warrant up to the judge before spinning around to face Eric.

“Well, let’s see—there’s arson,” he says, pretending to think, “and insurance fraud. And I guess we’ll have to see what else our investigation reveals.”

“Those charges are a lie,” Eric sputters. “They are trying to frame me to win this custody hearing. You see that, don’t you, Bill?”

He turns to Judge Ranker, but the judge has gone very pale looking at the paper.

“The charges are real,” Campbell says, stepping up to Eric to cuff him. “Just ask your friend, Zeb. He had a lot to say about you and a lot of proof to go with it.”

On the day Morgan and I visited Zeb, he told me about how Eric had paid him to start all the fires around town, including the community building and the one in his subdivision.

Apparently, Eric has lost a lot of money in that subdivision, and he’s floundering.

He was trying to recoup it with the insurance money.

The other fires had been to throw the scent off of him.

I can’t say whether Josephine was involved, but I figure it will come out in the investigation.

Zeb spilled it all for a chance of making a deal, but I didn’t have the authority to make that deal for him—so I went to Hayes.

Hayes was able to work with the right people to get Zeb a plea deal.

He’ll still serve time, but not as long as Eric.

Zeb also signed away his rights to Mia, and while that’s a step in the right direction for Morgan and Mia, it still isn’t enough.

Morgan has to prove he can provide a good home for Mia, including a steady income, which means the possibility of him dropping out of school is very likely.

I won’t let that happen, though. I’ll figure out something before it comes to that.

When I told my lawyer everything going on with Eric, he devised a plan for Hayes to deliver the warrant during court.

It would make a statement about the reliability of Josephine and Eric’s home.

I told Tanner about all this last night.

He’s been staying with me since I went to the jail and came home to find him at my house.

He wasn’t all that surprised about the lengths his stepfather would go.

He also didn’t seem upset with the possibility of my getting full custody, which I was thankful for.

“That snitch. I’ll kill him for this,” Eric yells, fighting against Campbell as he tries to cuff him.

Hayes walks over to help and offers Eric some sage advice. “I’d stop talking if I were you.”

He reads his rights, and then they walk him back down the aisle toward the back doors. Josephine follows them, crying into her hands as her lawyer vehemently speaks into his phone. I watch them go, and when they disappear through the doors, my eyes find Lily’s.

She’s watching all this wide-eyed, her mouth slightly ajar, and she shakes her head when she sees me watching her.

“On that note,” my lawyer says, turning to the judge. “I propose my client is given full custody, pending the investigation of Mr. and Mrs. Westbrook, and seeing as my client’s son will likely be eighteen by that point, I propose that this hearing is closed.”

Judge Ranker, who has now started to sweat, hastily agrees. “Full custody will be granted to the father, Theo Sylvis. ”

I nearly collapse when he bangs his gavel and scurries out of the courtroom.

“Dad,” Tanner says, and I roll my head to meet his gaze.

“Yeah, kid?”

“Can we go shopping to get stuff for my room?”

A smile breaks out over my face. “Of course, kid.”

He smiles back. It’s one of my favorite sights. “Cool. I’ll see you at home.”

Tanner walks out of the courtroom, leaving me with my lawyer.

“Why did Judge Ranker look like he’d seen a ghost when he ran out of here?” I ask.

Mr. Abbott doesn’t look up from packing his briefcase when he says, “I suspect he’s afraid of what might turn up in Eric’s financials when they are investigated. After all, Judge Ranker loves a good bribe—it’s just never been proven.”

He’s so nonchalant about it that I have to laugh. Sticking out my hand, I offer it to him. He finally looks up from his briefcase.

“Thank you for what you did for my kid,” I say, clasping his hand.

His hard exterior breaks a little when he says, “Anytime.”

He lets go of my hand, and I turn toward the only person I haven’t had a chance to speak to. But when my eyes land on where Lily had been standing before, I find it empty.

She’s gone, and maybe it’s for the best.