Page 35 of Penance (Rising From the Ashes #2)

Lily

S ince losing my mind and kissing Theo, I’ve been avoiding public places for fear that I might run into him, which puts a wrench in the whole fake dating thing, but I digress.

I’ve managed to keep to myself for a couple of days, but now I’m in dire need of groceries.

I had to give up my public hiatus unless I wanted to starve.

Now I’m walking into the store, my hat pulled down low over my eyes. I’m only shopping for the basics—a quick in and out. I’ve just grabbed a buggy when I feel someone step up behind me, invading my personal space.

The smell of sandalwood and smoke hits me at the same time I feel a pair of warm hands land on my waist, and then I’m being spun around, lifted, and thrown over Theo’s shoulder.

“What are you doing? I scream, pulling my hands from his waist and pounding my fist against his back. “Put me down.”

I’m hanging upside down, my face bouncing against his back and my hands holding on for dear life because he’s only holding me with one arm wrapped around my legs and the other hanging casually by his side.

“No can do, hopeless.”

“Theo, if you don’t put me down right this instant—” I don’t get a chance to finish those words because his other hand comes up, swatting the back of my thigh.

I gasp, mortally offended, and Theo’s arm tightens around my leg.

“You drive me insane. Do you know that?” Theo asks, his voice full of gravel. “I’ve resorted to kidnapping you because you’ve been avoiding me ever since that kiss, and I’m going out of my mind. This is your fault, hopeless. All your fault.”

“ My fault ?” I screech. My voice pitches high, and I try hitting his back again—but he might as well be built of solid steel. “No one is forcing you to kidnap me, Theo Sylvis. Now. Put. Me. Down.”

I punctuate each word with a jab to his side.

We’ve drawn attention by now, but instead of doing something normal, like calling the police because they see a woman being kidnapped, the residents of Benton Falls are watching with glee because they are being given a first hand account of a juicy piece of gossip.

I swear this town needs help.

The world starts to tilt again without warning, and I’m standing back on my feet. Theo opens the passenger side door of his truck, all while one hand still lingers on my waist. We are standing entirely too close for me to think right.

“Are you going to stop fighting me now?” Theo asks, his voice washing over my skin.

I cross my arms over my chest to glare at him, which only puts us closer.

“Are you going to stop kidnapping me?” I ask, and he grins. Full-on grins, making my heart stutter.

“Nope.”

“Then I guess I’m still fighting.”

He shrugs as it’s no matter to him. “Suit yourself.” I’m being lifted again, but this time, instead of being thrown over his shoulder, he places me in his truck and leans in to buckle me in. “But be careful because I like it when you fight me, hopeless.”

______________________

“Are you going to tell me where we are going?” I ask, only for Theo to ignore me. “Are you planning on murdering me?”

That gets a response. Theo rolls his eyes. “If I were planning on murdering you, I would have let you fall out of that tree. It’s less messy when it’s your own fault.”

I narrow my eyes, glaring at the side of his face, but he keeps his eyes on the road, acting like he can’t feel me staring at him. “Let’s never talk about the incident again.”

Theo snorts. “Is that what we are calling it?”

“No. Because we are never talking about it again, so we aren’t calling it anything.”

A dimple pokes into his cheek. “If you say so, hopeless.”

Growling, I throw myself back into my seat. “Would you stop calling me that?”

“No.”

“Ugggghhh. You are the most frustrating man I’ve ever met.”

He grins. “Thank you.”

Knowing I’m on the edge of throwing myself out of his truck, I reach forward and turn on the radio, and it stays on for the rest of the drive.

I’m watching the landscape pass by when it begins to change. Instead of a clear horizon and fields full of flowers, there are ratty trailers and trash littered everywhere.

The scene change is so jarring and familiar that my heart stops in my chest. It’s not the trailer park I grew up in, but when you’ve been in one run-down trailer park, you’ve been in all the rest.

My chest grows tight, making it hard to breathe, but I manage to turn toward Theo and squeak out a question. “What are we doing here?”

He stops the truck in front of one of the trailers and turns to look at me. “I want you to meet someone.”

I can’t tell him that being in a place like this fills me with anxiety. He’s already seen too many cracks in my mask, so instead, I hide my trembling hands and say, “Okay.”

I take the thirty seconds it takes him to run around the truck and open my door to compose myself, and by the time he opens my door, the only sign of my anxiety is the necklace in my hand.

He helps me out, and I let him—counting the Mississippis it takes for him to drop his hands.

Twenty. It takes twenty Mississippis.

Which is way too long if you ask me.

Once my feet are on the ground, we walk up a cracked sidewalk with weeds growing through to a front door that doesn’t even look like it locks. Theo lifts his hand and knocks, then steps back and waits.

My charm zips along my necklace. Back and forth. Back and forth. Theo reaches up, stopping my hand from moving. “There’s no need to be nervous.”

I scoff. “I’m not nervous.”

Theo looks pointedly at where I still hold onto my necklace, his hand covering mine, and then back at me.

I lift my chin and pretend I don’t notice.

The front door creaks, and I turn my attention toward it. A woman stands on the other side of the screen door. She’s older, with graying hair and wrinkles that speak of a hard life. Her mouth is set in a stern line, and her eyes are just as hard.

“Theo,” the woman greets. “I didn’t expect a visit for a couple of weeks.”

Theo looks at the woman as if she hung the moon. “I wanted you to meet someone.”

The woman’s gaze jumps to me for the first time, as if just noticing I am standing here. She doesn’t smile, just stands there, assessing me .

“Highfalutin, isn’t she,” the woman says, looking back at Theo, and I bristle—something about being in a place like this, bringing out parts of the old me.

“You don’t know me,” I say, my voice hard.

The woman’s piercing gray eyes snap back to me, and she does another assessment. “You know what, I suspect I don’t.”

She shoves the door open, and Theo catches it with one hand as the woman disappears deeper into her house. When I can no longer see her, I look at Theo.

“Explain,” I demand, but the word loses some of its edge when I realize Theo’s cheeks are on fire. He’s embarrassed, and I’m missing something.

“You know how I said I got sober two years ago?” he asks.

“Yes,” I say apprehensively.

He nods in the direction the woman disappeared. “She saved me.”

“How?”

“She was at the rehab center I went to. I don’t know why, but she gave me her number on my first day there and said to call whenever I wanted a drink. And so I did.”

“Do you still call her?” I ask, then clarify. “When that happens, I mean?”

Theo shakes his head, but his eyes are sad. It’s the first time I’ve realized how lonely it is to be an addict. Even when I was going through it with my mom, I couldn’t see it. I was too close. With Theo, though, it’s so obvious, I wonder how I missed it before.

“Why not?”

He looks off into the distance and blows out a breath. “Because she was becoming something I was reliant on. I needed to prove I could resist it by myself.”

I don’t know how to tell him how proud of him I am, so instead, I say, “Then I would love to get to know her.”

His face breaks into a smile, and I swear the man is trying to kill me because my heart stutters again, like it’s trying to start properly working for the first time in almost a decade.

Jerking my gaze away, I walk past him into the house. He follows me, but I swear I can still feel a smile.

He places a hand on my lower back, guiding me to a small living room right off the kitchen. Everything in the house is old but clean—and I can’t explain why that makes me want to cry.

The woman sits on the couch, flipping through a magazine and waiting for us. She looks up when we enter the room. She doesn’t smile, but something about her makes me feel like she has a good reason not to.

“Lily,” Theo says, “I want you to meet Gwen. Gwen, this is Lily.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” I say, walking over to her and sticking out my hand. Gwen stares at it for a moment as if sizing me up before she takes it, giving it a firm shake.

“So,” she says, dropping my hand and turning back to Theo. “What else brings you by?”

Theo sits on the couch opposite of her, grabbing me and pulling me down with him. He tucks me into his side, and even though there’s no one here for us to pretend for, I don’t move.

“I told you I wanted you to meet Lily,” Theo says, but I don’t miss that he doesn’t meet her gaze.

“Mmm-hmmm, and what else, boy?” Gwen asks like a knowing mother.

Theo tucks his head, hiding from her. There’s guilt written all over him. “I was hoping you would tell her your story.”

“Ah,” she says, looking at me. She doesn’t say anything for several moments, studying me as if trying to learn mine.

Whatever she sees must satisfy her because she nods and says, “I suppose I can do that.”She adjusts her seat, moving to where she’s sitting more comfortably.

“ But it’s not just my story. It’s my son’s, too. His name was Austin.”

“Was?” I interrupt before I can think better of it.