Page 24 of Penance (Rising From the Ashes #2)

Theo

T heo: I thought we agreed I would pick you up before the game today. Why are you not at your house?

Lily: No, you agreed. I didn’t text you back. I’m perfectly capable of driving myself.

Theo: Hopeless…

Lily: Sorry, there’s no one at this number by that name.

Theo: You’re the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met.

Lily: Thank you.

I growl, throwing my phone in the passenger seat and pulling away from the curb. Lily is exasperating, which means she’s impossible to get out of my head.

It’s the first baseball game of the season, and I think I might puke.

I don’t even think I was this nervous when I played for the state championship my senior year, but the only thing I gained from that game was a ring I don’t wear.

There’s more riding on this one. My relationship with Tanner.

My reputation in this town. I’m not naive enough to think people won’t be watching my every move while I’m out on that field.

In fact, it’s the very reason Lily and I chose to make this our first official outing as a “ couple, ” which only adds to the pressure.

When I pull in, Lily’s car is already waiting in the parking lot.

She’s sitting in the driver seat, swiping a light pink lipstick over her lips, and the sight is so distracting that I nearly drive onto the sidewalk.

I slam on my brakes and jerk my gaze away from Lily, but not before I see the sarcastic smirk on her lips.

The woman is bound to drive me mad.

Jerking on the door handle, I jump out of the truck and walk to the back to grab my gear. Lily meets me there, the smirk still lingering on her mouth.

“Nice driving.” Humor glitters in her eyes, and I can’t even be mad because the sight of it is so breathtaking.

She’s wearing a pair of cut-off jeans and a Benton Falls High School T-shirt.

It’s form-fitting, revealing the curve of her waist and causing me to nearly swallow my tongue.

Her hair is pulled up in a bun meant to look messy, but knowing Lily, it’s meticulously placed—and dang it, if she isn’t beautiful.

I’m wearing a ball cap that sits low on my brow, hiding most of my face from her, and I’m thankful I had the sense to put it on before I left the house. Otherwise, she’d be privy to just how much I enjoy seeing her like this.

“The sun was in my eyes,” I lie, and she snorts.

“Now, who’s lying to themselves?”

Shrugging, I don’t deny it. There’s no reason to. She’s right.

After dropping my tailgate, I reach in, pull out the bag full of gear, and sling it over my shoulder.

Then I turn so we are face to face, our bodies inches apart. She tilts her head back to look at me, and I dip mine down to do the same. We stand there staring at each other for a minute until I break the silence.

“Are you ready for this?”

She lifts one shoulder and lets it fall back down. “I’m used to putting on a show.”

I frown, my brows knitting together. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Lily’s eyes dart away from mine, looking at something over my shoulder. “Nothing,” she says, her voice flat. “We have company.”

She steps closer, her hand coming up to rest on my arm. Today’s heat index is at a record high, but it’s nothing compared to the heat radiating off Lily. Her eyes come back to me, and she smiles. And I forget my name.

“You’re going to need to pretend you like me, Theo,” she says through her smile. “Your ex-wife is heading this way.”

Pretend?

I want to laugh.

Who has to pretend when she’s enough to make a man downright obsessed?

I’d tell her that, but the mention of my ex-wife is like a bucket of cold water thrown over my head. I tense, starting to turn my head to look, but Lily’s hand moves up my arm to my neck, blocking me.

“You are terrible at this. I wouldn’t have agreed so quickly if I knew I would have to carry our weight.”

I glare down at her, my face still hidden by the shadow of my hat. “Nothing about that decision was quick, hopeless.”

“Oh, shut up, and do better,” she says, flicking the side of my neck before smoothing her hand over my jawline. She smirks when a shiver runs over my shoulders. She’s playing a dangerous game, but two can play it—and I’m not one for losing.

Leaning down, I move in closer until my cheek brushes against hers. My hand lands on her waist, tugging her closer until she’s pressed against me. Her breathing hitches, and I chuckle. My voice is low and dark when I whisper, “I love when you boss me around, hopeless.”

I can feel her heart beating against my ribs—fast and steady. Every addiction starts with one hit, and I’ve just had mine.

It’s like playing with fire, and I crave the burn.

“Well, isn’t this cozy.” Josephine’s voice is grating, scratching against every last nerve I have.

Sighing, I close my eyes, but before I can pull away, Lily whispers, “Don’t let her get to you. That’s what she wants.”

Her voice is surprisingly even as she steps back while I, on the other hand, feel like a bumbling teenager.

Lily—one. Theo—zero.

Lily steps around me, a bright smile on her face as she looks at Josephine. I turn too, stepping behind her. Close enough for us to look like a couple, but far enough away that we aren’t touching.

“Hello, Josephine,” I say, taking Lily’s advice and staying calm.

Josephine is standing on the sidewalk leading to the baseball field. She’s wearing a white pant suit to a baseball game, and her hair is pulled back so tight it stretches the skin around her eyes. She’s nothing like the woman standing in front of me.

“Theo.” She says my name with disgust, looking down her long nose the same way she has since she took my son away from me. I don’t know what happened to the girl I once knew—or if she ever existed—but she’s not the woman standing before me now.

“Where’s Eric?” I ask, looking around for her husband because where one goes, the other typically follows. They walk in with their expensive clothes and superior attitude, determined to step on everyone else so that they can sit a little higher. “Doesn’t enjoy baseball?”

Josephine sniffs, hiking her purse higher on her shoulder. “He had a few meetings to attend, but he’ll be here.”

I force a tight smile. “Great.”

Awkward tension hangs in the air. Forcing myself to grit my teeth and smile at the woman who ruined my life is a torture that I will endure until my son is old enough I don’t have to anymore.

Josephine looks at Lily, her smile mocking. Lily lifts her chin, staring her down without an ounce of fear, and I swipe my hand over my mouth, hiding my smirk.

My ex-wife bristles when Lily doesn’t cower under her gaze and turns her attention back to me.

“You know, I kept asking myself why you would allow Tanner to play after the whole—football debacle,” Josephine says, her nose wrinkling on the word debacle as if it weren’t something that had been a risk to Tanner’s life. “But I think I’m beginning to understand.”

I narrow my eyes, anger starting to simmer in my veins. “Understand what, Josephine? Come on. No need to be cryptic. Speak your mind.”

A look of surprised innocence crosses Josephine’s features, and she places her hand over her chest as if offended at my tone. “I just mean, it makes sense for you to say yes since you’re dating Ms. Carson, that’s all.”

“What?” A surprised voice comes from behind me, and I spin around so fast I nearly make myself dizzy.

Tanner stands in the parking lot, his bat bag hanging from his hand and a glare on his face.

“Tanner—”

“You’re dating, Ms. Carson?” he asks, cutting me off.

I shake my head, trying to figure out how to explain this. I told myself I’d tell him before now—but then I got stuck on how to explain that we are fake dating. In the end, I didn’t say anything—another mistake.

“It’s—complicated,” I say, feeling Lily’s presence behind me like a weighted shadow. “I was going to tell you.”

Tanner scoffs, shaking his head. “Sure you were, Dad. Is she the only reason you decided to coach? You know what, I don’t care. I have a game to get ready for.”

He walks off, and I step up to stop him—but a hand on my arms stops me .

“Let him cool off,” Lily whispers. “He’ll listen to you, but not right now.”

My body is shaking under her touch, and my fist clenches, guilt and anger threatening to smother me.

“Theo,” Lily says my name, and I’m desperate to hang onto the high it brings.

Shaking out my fists, I slowly turn to face her.

“Are you good?” she asks, and I shake my head—but then my gaze lands on Josephine. The anger comes rushing back again.

“You knew he was standing there, didn’t you?” I ask, pure venom lacing my voice.

Josephine smiles. It’s a wonder she didn’t become the wife of a politician.

She’d fit the role perfectly. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Good luck with your game.” She stops, eyes scanning Lily in contempt.

“And your girlfriend .” She spits out the word like it tastes bad.

“You know, Theo, it will be interesting to see what Tanner has to say to Judge Ranker at the end of the summer.”

Her words are a punch to my sternum—the winning blow—and she knows it. She follows Tanner to the baseball field with a finger wave and a condescending smile.

I watch her go, hatred burning in the center of my chest.

It’s a hatred that has consumed me for a very long time, stripped me bare, and left me a broken man in its wake.

Lily steps into my line of vision, placing my face between her hands and gently pulling it down to look at her.

My gaze bounces between hers, desperate to know what she’s thinking—to know if she sees me as the monster I am—but she’s not looking at me with disgust. Instead, there’s a softness in her eyes that I don’t deserve.

“Is there a reason you didn’t tell him about this?” she asks. Her voice has no edge, yet it cuts me anyway.