Page 4 of Penance (Rising From the Ashes #2)

Theo

“ I ’m going to get on the ladder first. You follow right behind me.” The words come out harsher than I mean, but I can’t take them back. I’m already stepping toward the ladder, my back turned to Lily.

I need to get out of this bucket before I do something stupid. Since the moment I laid eyes on Lily Carson, I knew she could be something I could become addicted to. And once an addict, always an addict.

I learned that the hard way, and part of being an addict is acknowledging when you are chasing a high.

For reasons I don’t understand, being around Lily is a high.

She’s snarky and too stubborn for her own good, but whenever I’m around her, it’s a buzz in my veins. A feeling I don’t want to let go of.

Dangerous. That’s what she is.

By the time I reach the ladder, Lily still hasn’t responded, which is unlike her. Usually, she has a quick remark to whatever I say to her. She can’t resist. A bad feeling settles into my gut, but I ignore it, chalking it up to the adrenaline of nearly watching her fall out of that stupid tree.

“I’m serious, Lily,” I say, turning so my back is to the ladder. I keep my gaze on the ground, watching my footing as I continue talking. “I need you to listen to me on this— ”

I look up to where Lily stands, and my words pitter out.

Gone is the strong, independent woman from moments before.

Her body is trembling violently, and even when she wraps her arms around herself, it doesn’t stop.

Her face has gone deathly white, and there’s a vacant look in her eyes where sparks of anger had been earlier.

My gaze zeros in on her chest, rising and falling too quickly.

“Lily,” I say her name, hoping to bring her attention to me so I can better assess what’s happening here, but her eyes are still vacant.

Even if she were to look at me, that kind of gaze would look right through me.

So, I step forward, careful not to spook her, and place my hands on either side of her face.

“Hopeless, look at me,” I demand, and just like I knew they would, her eyes snap to mine with the nickname.

A tiny corner of my lips lifts into a smirk.

She hates that nickname but doesn’t realize it’s more of a reflection on me than on her.

Maybe one day I’ll tell her where it came from, but for now, I like the heat coming back into her eyes whenever I say it.

“What?” She grits out between chattering teeth, but the word doesn’t have the usual bark she uses in my presence. Her breathing is still too fast, and the worry kicks in again.

“How much smoke did you inhale?” I ask, my thumbs gently stroking over the soft skin on her cheeks to keep her grounded.

Yeah, that’s the reason, Theo. Keep telling yourself that.

I grind my teeth, shoving out the errant thought.

There’s chaos below us, and I need to get back down there with my men. I trust them to do their job, but they shouldn’t have to do it alone because I can’t get over the feeling of this woman’s skin against the calluses on my hands.

“Come on, hopeless. Talk to me. How much smoke?”

Her shoulders are stiff, but she shakes her head. “Not a lot.”

“Good,” I say, searching her face for the truth. “That’s good. ”

And it is good, but it still doesn’t explain Lily’s quick descent from the fierce independence that nearly got her killed to the woman standing before me. I would have expected this reaction when she was on the limb, but not now that she’s safe in the bucket.

My eyes sweep over her again, looking for any injuries I might have missed when she fell, but I find none.

Glass shatters from one of the school windows, pulling my attention away from her and to the building, but not before I notice her flinch. I grit my teeth, hating how fear floods her eyes, but we are out of time.

“Okay, hopeless,” I say, returning my attention to her. “Time’s up. We have to get down, and I’m not sure you can make it. So, I would apologize for what I’m about to do, but—I’m not really sorry.”

That’s the only warning I give her before I step forward and lift her. Lily is a tall woman—but I’m taller. Her legs wrap instinctively around my waist to keep her from falling, and my hands grip her thighs.

“Theo. Put me down,” she screams, her fist beating into my back, and even though she can’t see it, I smirk.

There’s the bark.

“Not going to happen, hopeless. Wrap your arms around my neck and hold on.”

Miraculously, she does what I ask as I step toward the ladder again and begin the descent.

I still hold her with one hand while the other grips the railing.

Lily clings to me like a koala. In normal circumstances, I might have teased her about it.

But my mind keeps conjuring images of the paleness of her face and the way her body trembled as she stood in the bucket.

It’s not as bad, but I can still feel her trembling as she clings to my neck.

Lily is fiercely independent, but I’m beginning to think it’s so no one looks beneath her mask.

______________________

The sun is shining as I pull into my driveway. It’s early morning, and dew still covers the ground. But it won’t stay that way long. Despite summer officially being a few weeks off, the heat has set in early.

Fatigue weighs heavy on my eyelids, and I lift one hand, wiping it away as I park. My body aches as I climb out of my truck and walk up the sidewalk to the front porch. My shift at the firehouse was hell.

Pure and simple.

It’s been a while since I was involved in fighting a fire.

Being chief means a lot of paperwork, but it was all hands on deck last night.

I even had to call in some of the day shift guys so the community building wasn’t a total loss.

There was a lot of damage. But none of that was what made it hell.

No, what made it hell was the fiery blonde-haired, blue-eyed spitfire who would rather chew off her own arm than ask for help.

Lily Carson is an enigma wrapped in a riddle. She drives me insane and is very much off-limits. But after last night, I can’t get her off my mind.

I was terrified when I found her up in that tree, and there has only been one other time I’ve ever felt that fear.

It was when my son, Tanner, was hurt last year playing football, and as much as I would like to analyze that feeling, there’s no point.

No matter how much Lily intrigues me, it won’t do me any good.

Nothing will happen between us. Not only because she’s my son’s principal—and pursuing her would be like chasing after a grenade and waiting for it to explode—but I’m older than her.

I’ve lived a rough life and learned lessons the hard way, and one thing I know for sure is that Lily deserves better than a man like me.

The wood creaks under my body weight as I climb the steps, stopping in front of the door and hesitating before I turn the knob and open it.

Anymore, coming home after a shift is more exhausting than the shift itself.

It’s not that I don’t want to be here. I do.

I just didn’t expect having a teenager in the house would be so hard.

I love my son, but we weren’t exactly on good terms before he came to live with me. That’s my fault. I made a lot of bad decisions—things I can’t take back—but I’m here now. And I guess I had foolishly hoped that would be enough, but I don’t blame him because it’s not.

With one deep breath, I shove open the door.

The house is newer and nicer than any home I ever thought I would be able to afford.

It has an open concept, and you can see straight through the living room into the kitchen from the front door.

Tanner is already up, sitting at the table and eating a bowl of cereal as he scrolls through his phone.

Tugging off my boots, I throw them into the closet.

Tanner doesn’t bother looking up as I cross the living room, my footsteps heavy against the hardwood floor.

“Hey, son,” I say, walking over to the cabinets and pulling out a bowl. “How was your night?”

“Fine.”

I’ve gotten used to these one-word answers.

The only time that Tanner and I really talk is when I force him to, and this morning, I’m so tired I don’t know if I have the energy to force it out of him.

But I’m a dad. Good dads never run out of energy, and I’m trying hard to be a good dad.

So I muster the last of my strength and try again.

“Do anything exciting last night?” Sitting beside him and grabbing the cereal box, I try to keep things casual. Pretending to care too much about his night will be the first thing to push this conversation off the cliff. I also learned that the hard way.

“Nope.”

The kid will cause me to go gray at the age of thirty-five, but he’s earned his right to hold back with me. His mom and I had him when we were young. We were both seniors in high school, and the only thing to do was to get married.

Josephine and I were from two different worlds.

Her family had money, and mine could barely afford the clothes on our backs.

I loved her, though. Or at least I thought I did.

Her family cut her off for marrying me. I thought I could make her happy, but Josephine is only happy when there’s money involved.

Her true colors started to show when I couldn’t provide her with the type of lifestyle she was used to.

She ran back to her family, but they would only take her back if she left me.

The divorce was messy. I used every dime I could to keep custody of Tanner, but in the end, her family was lining the judge’s pocket, and mine was out, causing trouble.

I lost Tanner, and that was the day I started drinking.

It’s easy to become an addict when you have nothing left to live for.

I’m here now, though, and I’m trying. And that’s another reason I need to stay away from Lily. She’d become another addiction, and that’s not fair to Tanner.