Page 28 of Penance (Rising From the Ashes #2)

Lily

M y favorite part of the weekend is sleeping in.

Even during the summer, I make myself get up early on weekdays.

I have a routine: wake up, get in a two-mile run, complete my skin care, and eat breakfast. For breakfast, I make myself a protein shake along with two hard-boiled eggs.

Day in and day out, the routine is like clockwork—except for on weekends.

The weekends are the only time I let myself just—be. Exist outside of expectations.

That’s why, when I hear hammering outside my house at nine a.m. on a Saturday, I nearly flip my lid.

My neighborhood is quiet. An elderly couple lives on one side of me, and the house on the other side is empty. So the noise is both unusual and annoying.

Throwing on a pair of running shorts and a tank top, I slide on a pair of sandals and head toward my front porch where the noise seems to be coming from.

I’m out the door before I have the time to consider that I should have probably checked through the window before barging outside. Theo is kneeling on my front lawn, bent over a saw, cutting a 2x4—shirtless.

His back muscles ripple, and even though it’s only mid-morning, sweat drips down his skin, and my mouth suddenly goes dry.

I’m standing there gawking, unable to look away, but then Theo turns around and winks.

There’s a smirk on his face like he knew what I’d been doing when his back was turned, and it makes me want to punch him— because, let’s be honest, a girl can find a man attractive and still want to strangle him.

“What are you doing?” I ask, trying to save at least a little of my dignity.

“I’m cutting a board,” He says blandly, continuing to kneel at my feet.

“And you needed to do that shirtless?” I shake my head. “Better yet, why are you doing it at all?”

He doesn’t answer me at first, turning back to the saw and firing it up to make a cut before standing to face me. “You had a loose board.”

Theo says it as if it should have been evident from the start, and then he walks past me to the porch. I hadn’t noticed it when I first came out, but now that I’m paying attention, I see a board missing to the left of my front door.

“That’s not an answer, Theo,” I say, following him, but he pays me no mind, laying the board down and starting to nail them in.

I kick his boot. “I’m talking to you.”

Crossing my arms over my chest, I glare down at him even though his back is to me, and he can’t actually see me.

His attention stays on the board. “I can feel you glaring at me, hopeless. I heard the question.”

I huff. “Then answer it.”

With a long, drawn-out sigh, he stands up. “I figured we could get to know each other better.”

“Why?” My nose scrunches up, and my brows furrow together.

Theo chuckles. It’s deep and warm, and I hate it. At least, I want to.

“Don’t look so disgusted, hopeless. I started thinking—”

“Hopefully not too hard,” I grumble, and he shoots me a look before he continues.

“As I was saying—I was thinking.” He stops, lifting a brow as if waiting for me to interrupt, and when I don’t, he continues.

“We really don’t know each other. I mean, we know the basics, but that’s it.

If we are going to do this thing—convince people we are dating—then we should probably get to know each other. ”

I hate to admit it, but what he’s saying makes sense.

We might have been able to fool Josephine with our performance at the game, but it won’t be so easy with the Birdies.

Nothing escapes them. They have their finger on the pulse of all the gossip in Benton Falls, and if I’m going to convince them that I’m not as cold-hearted as they might think, then I will need to get to know more about Theo than I do right now.

So I drop my arms and put my hands on my hips while staring him down. “Fine, but I need coffee first.”

______________________

Theo is sitting on the front step, waiting for me when I come back with two cups of coffee.

His tools have been put away, and the loose board on my porch has now been fixed.

I still don’t understand why he did it. It’s not like he had to do that to have this conversation, and now it feels like I owe him.

Sitting beside him, I stretch out my hand, offering him the other coffee. Theo takes it and smiles, and I have to look away. That stupid smile of his is lethal.

“I knew you liked me, hopeless.”

I shoot him a glare out of the corner of my eye, but it’s half-hearted. Something about the weekend always makes things lighter, including me.

“Don’t get used to it,” I mumble around my coffee as I take a sip. The liquid warms my throat, making life better in an instant.

“So,” Theo says, pointing at me with his mug. “Where should we start?”

“I don’t know. This was your idea,” I say, staring at a dandelion in my front yard.

A bee buzzes around it, and I watch it, following it around and around because it’s easier than looking at Theo.

I don’t let people get to know me—ever. Not the real me, at least. So, I don’t know how to do this, and it makes me feel out of control.

And I guess being snarky when things feel out of control is easier than letting people in.

If he takes offense to my tone, though, Theo doesn’t show it.

“Tell me something about you I don’t know.”

I nearly laugh. I could write a book about everything people don’t know because I only show them the parts of me that are easy for them to accept. I don’t say that, though. Instead, I say, “There’s nothing to tell. I’m an open book.”

Theo’s snort catches me off guard, and I turn to look at him. He’s placed his coffee on the step beside him, humor lighting up his eyes, but there’s something more. Something sincere.

“Come on, Lily,” he says, using my real name, but I think I’ve come to prefer the other because when he says my name like that, it feels—real. Something we are decidedly not. “This won’t work if you don’t give me something.”

Pursing my lips, I blow out a slow breath. He’s right. Again. But it’s not like I’m trying to be difficult. I just don’t know how to open up when I’ve spent my whole life hiding.

“Fine,” I concede. “Maybe I’m not fully an open book, but I’ll answer your questions—the ones you need to know, at least.”

I offer him scraps, but he doesn’t seem to care.

“Fair enough. Let me think,” he says, rubbing at his jawline.

My eyes follow the movement of his fingers before I catch myself and snap them back to his.

He’s watching me with a smile. There’s no way he missed that I just ogled him.

Heat pools in my cheeks, but Theo snaps his fingers together, saving me from humiliation. “I’ve got it. Where did you grow up?”

My mouth falls open a little. “That question took you that long to think of?”

Theo shrugs. “Had to think of one you’d answer. Now answer.”

Chewing on my lip, I place my cup beside me, suddenly uninterested in it.

“A town a couple of hours from here.” It’s vague, but it’s an answer. Barely.

“Do you still have family around there?”

I immediately regret playing this game with him. It’s one thing to talk about me. It’s entirely another thing to talk about my family.

“Yes.”

“Do you still visit them?”

“No.”

“More than one-word answers, hopeless,” he growls, rotating his neck and popping it.

A sardonic laugh escapes me. It’s jaded, or maybe it’s just that I’m jaded.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Theo.

Do you want me to tell you my childhood sucked?

It did. Do you want me to tell you it was lonely?

It was,” I rant. “The end. There’s the summary of my life. There really is nothing else to say.”

By the time my rant is over, I’m breathing hard, and tears burn my eyes, but I refuse to let a single one fall. I stopped crying over my childhood a long time ago.

Pity fills Theo’s eyes, and I pull mine away. Looking at him is too much.

“Lily.” My name on his lips will be my downfall. I’m sure of it. I close my eyes at the plea in his voice.

A rustling sound comes from his direction, but I still don’t open my eyes, not even when I feel his leg brush against mine .

“Lily, look at me,” he begs, but I can’t. Letting someone in, especially Theo, is too much.

So I shake my head, denying his request, but I should have known he wouldn’t be one to give up.

Calloused fingers trace the line of my neck, over my jaw, and end at my chin. With my eyes closed, all my other senses are heightened, and I feel him shift, leaning his whole body closer until his lips are next to my ear.

“Look at me, hopeless.” It’s the anguish in his voice that has me finally giving in.

Prying my eyes open, I look at him, taking my time because I know once I do, the jig will be up, and he’ll see me. The real me.

When my gaze finally meets his, I realize I’ve made a grave mistake. Even though I had felt him move closer, I hadn’t realized just how close. Our faces are inches apart, and I can see every emotion swirling in the darkness of his irises. Sadness. Fear. Desire. It’s all there, and it’s terrifying.

Theo smiles, but it does nothing to calm my racing heart.

“What?” I ask with a lot more bravado than I feel. In reality, all I feel is pain, and it’s started to create cracks in my foundation.

Theo leans closer, and I hold my breath. I should pull away, but I can’t. His eyes hold me in place.

“You deserved better.”

Three words whispered against my lips. That’s all they are, yet to me, they are more.

Neither of us breathes as we watch each other, our eyes bouncing and waiting for the other to move.

Kiss him.

The plea inside my head is so demanding that I almost do it. I nearly close the gap, just to find out what his lips would feel like against mine, but then a throat clears and reality snaps into place .

Cursing, I jump back, placing space between us, and turn to the newcomer. My cheeks are as hot as the summer sun by the time I find MJ standing on the sidewalk at the bottom of my steps.

“Uh—sorry to interrupt,” she says, eyes flashing from me to Theo. Her lips pull back into an ear-splitting grin when they land back on me, and she bounces her brows. Holding her hand to one side of her mouth, she whispers, “What was that?”

Even when she’s whispering, though, there’s nothing quiet about MJ, and it becomes evident that Theo heard her when he snorts. I pointedly ignore him, keeping my attention on MJ.

“It’s not what you think,” I start to deny, but an arm falls over my shoulder, the weight of it pure torture.

Theo pulls me into his side, the vibrations of his voice pulsing into my side when he says, “Actually, it’s exactly what you’re thinking.”

He says it with such confidence that it’s impossible to argue, and then I remember that I’m not supposed to be.

A sudden thought strikes me, and I wiggle under Theo’s arm.

How long had MJ been standing there? Did he know she was there? Had that all been for show?

Theo’s arm tightens, holding me still against him and pulling me out of my thoughts. It’s hard to think when the smell of sandalwood and smoke fries my brain.

“Oh,” MJ says, her eyes still bouncing between us, but there’s a little wrinkle between her brows now as if she’s trying to figure out what’s really going on. “Well, I was just coming to invite Lily to our house for a cookout, but if you’re busy—”

“I’m not,” I practically shout, standing so that Theo’s arm falls off my shoulder, but even though I’m no longer pressed up against him, his scent still clings to me.

I look down at him for only a brief second, but it’s long enough to see his eyes narrow and his lips tilt up as he stares at the goosebumps running along my leg .

When did those get there?

MJ turns to look at Theo, and my stomach drops. There’s mischief in her eyes, and I’ve come to learn that that means nothing good for me.

“Actually,” she says with a socialite smile her mother would be proud of. “There will be plenty of food. Why don’t you come too, Theo?”

My teeth grind together as I glare at her, trying to communicate my dislike for her at that moment, but MJ ignores me.

It’s a shame I’m going to have to kill her. We were really starting to be friends.

I look down at Theo, trying to communicate with him this time, but he ignores me, too. His lips pull back in a dangerous smile, and my heart nearly breaks my ribs, trying to escape.

“I’d love to.”