Page 1 of Penance (Rising From the Ashes #2)

Lily

T he room buzzes with noise as people whisper behind their hands about the biggest piece of gossip all year—the engagement of Hayes Miller and Mallorie Jade Harrison.

Never mind that the real gossip stands beside them in the form of my own stupidity.

Hayes and I were friends—just friends. Yet somehow, I got caught up in the idea of him being more, and I ended up falling into the same desperation my mother did—chasing a man who was never meant to be mine.

Not that I loved Hayes. I don’t want love. I want safety. Hayes was safe.

Now, I’m standing at his engagement party, hiding my forced smile behind a glass.

The happy couple mills about the room, laughing and smiling with their guests, all while never letting go of each other.

It makes me want to gag.

“Lily, dear, it’s so good to see you.” A regal voice floats from beside me, and I nearly jump out of my skin, embarrassment heating my cheeks from being caught staring so intently.

Taking a sip from my glass, I lower it and cradle it to my chest before turning to greet the bride’s mother—Abigail Harrison, the queen of this town.

Even in her older age, the woman is beautiful—regal and put together in a way I will never be.

Her hair is naturally blonde, and her green eyes seem to notice everything.

She was the first person to welcome me when I moved to town and the first to congratulate me when I got the high school principal position at the beginning of this year.

She’s become like a surrogate mom to me—even if she doesn’t know I view her that way.

“Mrs. Harrison, thank you for the invitation,” I greet, my hand going to the necklace against my collarbone. It is a reminder—always a reminder.

“Abigail, dear. Call me Abigail.”

I nod, taking a small sip of my drink and holding it to my chest again. Offering her a polite smile, I avoid her gaze, hoping she doesn’t see the shame in mine, but when I bring my attention back to her, her eyes narrow as if she can see right through me.

“Did you bring a date?” She asks. The question is so casual that it’s obviously not casual at all. She caught me staring at her soon-to-be son-in-law, and we both know it—but I’m no threat. I never was.

“No—just me,” I admit.

Her lips pinch together in distaste, but she reaches out and pats my hand. “Not to worry, dear. I can help with that.”

Wincing, I bring my glass to my lips again, relishing the cool water.

“Abigail—” I start, but a warm, solid hand lands on my shoulder.

The smell of sandalwood and smoke fills my lungs, and I hold my breath to keep from breathing it in.

It’s not because I hate it—just the opposite.

I like it a little too much, especially because the person it belongs to drives me crazy—not to mention he’s the dad to one of my students.

“Don’t let her lie to you, Mrs. Harrison. She’s here with me—she’s just shy.” The voice is deep and masculine and, to my annoyance, prickles over my skin, leaving goosebumps behind.

Turning my head, I come face to face with Theo Sylvis, the town’s new fire chief.

The man is handsome, with dark hair and eyes to match, natural muscles built from hours of hard work, and a grin that spells trouble.

The suit he’s wearing leaves nothing to the imagination.

His biceps bulge as he tucks his hands into his pockets, threatening to rip the fabric.

Every single girl in here is staring at him.

The problem is that he knows it, and that leaves him with a cockiness that grates at my nerves.

When I meet his gaze, he’s already wearing that smirk on his lips. I narrow my eyes, ready to tell him exactly how I feel about his interruption, but Mrs. Harrison beats me to it. “Oh, Theo. How lovely. I’m glad you two found one another.”

Theo’s arm stretches across my shoulder, and that grin ticks up two notches.

It makes me want to punch him in the nose—a fact that the soon-to-be bride would probably be proud of, seeing as that’s how she managed to land her fiance. Only she used a tire iron, and it was an accident. Mine would be no accident.

Like they have a mind of their own, my eyes slide to the couple again, hoping to find them distracted by the crowd, but when I find them, Hayes’s eyes are already on me while his bride whispers in his ear.

The couple steals glances this way, and I force myself to return my attention to the people standing with me.

With the weight of Hayes and Mallorie Jade’s stare, I let Theo keep his arm around me, but I’m punching him in the gut as soon as I can.

“We’re just friends,” I say to Abigail, stopping her from creating a story where there isn’t one. “And we didn’t come here together.”

Theo is undeterred, though. There’s mischief in his eyes when he says, “For now, at least.”

Pulling my lips back from my teeth, I force a smile as if I find him funny.

Abigail’s eyes bounce between us, and she sucks in her cheeks as if she is trying not to laugh.

“Lily, let me know how that denial works for you six months from now. Just ask my daughter—the things you run from always catch up to you.”

Then she walks away, her tinkling laugh floating back to me as she goes, and I’m left with a sense of foreboding because she can’t possibly know how scared of that I am.

With the smile still on my face, I reach up and grab Theo’s wrist. I drag him behind me until we are in a corner of the room where no one is paying attention to us.

And once I’m sure no one is watching, I rip his arm off me, drop my smile, and spin so fast to face him that I stumble in my heels.

Theo’s hands shoot out, catching me around the waist with a self-satisfied smirk on his lips.

“Are you crazy?” I hiss, trying not to think about how the heat of his hands seeps through the silk of my dress to my skin. “You can’t start rumors like that.”

His thumb strokes lazily across my hip, and I grit my teeth to keep from shivering.

“Cold, sweetheart?” Theo asks in a voice that is all gravel and grit.

“It’s December,” I say, not an ounce of emotion in my voice.

His lips twitch like he’s fighting off a witty remark, and I wonder how much it would hurt if I dug my heel into his toe.

He steps forward, crowding into my space. “Dance with me, hopeless.”

I scoff. “That’s a stupid nickname. Don’t call me that.”

Humor glitters in his eyes. “Okay, Lily. Dance with me.”

His lips caress my name, deepening his voice and increasing the heat in his eyes. I would have been better off sticking with the nickname. “Is that a question or a demand?”

“Whichever one gets you on the dance floor?” he says, shrugging.

“And why would I do that? The only thing that will achieve is to start the gossip train.”

Theo turns his head, staring pointedly at Hayes and Mallorie Jade. There’s respect and a little bit of hatred in his eyes as he takes the couple in. “Seems to me that rumor would be beneficial to you. Your face is an open book when you look at him.”

My shoulders stiffen when Theo looks back at me, his dark eyes piercing. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

His answering laugh is dark and jaded. “Sure you don’t. Everyone loves Hayes Miller—my own son included.”

His voice holds a bitter edge, and my annoyance fades a little.

As much as Theo irritates me, the truth is, he’s a good dad—even if he doesn’t let himself think so.

I don’t know much about the situation with him and Tanner, his son, just that Theo wasn’t around for a while, but based on the way Theo stepped up this year for Tanner, I’m not entirely convinced that his absence was by choice.

Although, if you ask his ex-wife, it was.

Last year, Tanner received a major concussion while playing football.

His mom and stepdad tried to pretend that Tanner had healed from that, and I think Tanner felt pressured to pretend, too, so that he could play football.

But this year, Hayes took the head football coaching position, and between him and MJ, the school nurse, both quickly realized that something wasn’t right.

Once Theo understood the severity of Tanner’s injury and what it could mean for him going forward, he stepped in, getting emergency custody of Tanner.

And since that day, Tanner has been like a new kid at school.

He’s doing better in his classes again, and even though he doesn’t get to play football anymore, he seems lighter .

I think most of that can be chalked up to having the right kind of parent in his life.

Theo’s face tightens as Hayes’s laughter floats over to where we are standing, and even though I try not to let them, my eyes are drawn to him.

He’s standing with Mallorie Jade in his arms. Her head is tilted back, and his lips dip to hers. I snap my eyes away, not wanting to see the next part. I might not have dreamed of being in love, but I got caught up in the idea of being safe—forgetting that safety is just an illusion, too.

Squaring my shoulders, I walk by Theo. His eyes stay on me until I’m past him, and then they drop to the ground. I stop, looking over my shoulder, and say, “Well—are you coming?”

Theo’s head snaps up, and he spins toward me. “Where?”

“To dance.”

His answering grin is trouble.

“I think I might regret this,” I mumble as he takes my hand and swoops me onto the dance floor.

______________________

The heat from Theo’s hand seeps through my dress, sending a shiver up my spine. His palm presses into my lower back, and I lift my arms, wrapping my hands around his neck. Theo’s hold on my waist tightens, leaving me gasping.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been held this way, and surprisingly, it’s not terrible to be held by him—some might even describe it as nice. If I wasn’t emotionally stunted, I might have even been one of those people.

A bitter laugh escapes me, coming out as more of a snort than anything, and Theo’s eyes darken, making my heart pump a little harder.

My survival instincts are non-existent .

The corner of Theo’s lip tips up into a smirk. “What?”

I shake my head, my curls tumbling over my shoulders. “Nothing,” I lie. “Just surprised we’ve been in each other’s presence for over a minute now without you getting on my nerves.”

It’s his turn to snort.

“Well, there was that one other time—” he says, trailing off, leaving me to fill in the memory.

Four weeks ago, after Theo filed for emergency custody, Tanner ran away.

When I found out, I showed up at Theo’s house, wanting to help however I could, partly because I felt responsible.

Hayes had warned me that things were bad with Tanner, but as the principal, there was only so much I could do when Tanner’s mom had full custody and was pushing him to play football despite his injury.

So yeah, I felt guilty about that, but I also showed up because I had become a person I didn’t recognize.

And I don’t want to be that woman anymore.

I wasn’t sure I would be welcomed when I showed up at Theo’s house, but I had to try. Surprisingly, Theo welcomed me into his home. I think it was because the worry had gone to his head. It was the only time we were able to be in each other’s presence without constant bickering.

Since then, our interactions have been stilted at best and annoying at worst.

“That was an extenuating circumstance,” I say, lifting my chin.

The corner of his lip tips up in a smirk. “Sure it was.”

Discomfort crawls under my skin as he stares down at me, those dark eyes piercing through my armor and seeing everything I’m trying to hide. Everything I’ve gotten good at hiding.

And I hate it.

It makes me wonder how pathetic I look to him. I wouldn’t blame Theo for judging me.

I’m judging myself .

Like they have a mind of their own, my eyes search for Hayes and Mallorie Jade again, and when I don’t find them, I’m not sure if it’s for better or worse.

Pathetic.

I might as well be a certified stalker from the times I’ve sought them out tonight. But I can’t stop myself. I’ve never seen a love like theirs—the kind that isn’t ruinous.

“You’re better than that, you know?” Theo’s voice is a low rumble against my ear, taking me by surprise.

My cheeks burn as I pull my attention back to him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

It’s a lie. I do, but it’s not what he thinks, even though I know it looks that way.

He lifts his lips in a sneer. “I take it you lie to yourself often.”

His words are like a splinter under my ribs, digging deep each time I try to pull them out and ignore them.

The song’s melody slowly fades away, and I take advantage of it, stepping out of Theo’s arms. My skin feels chilled the moment I do, the December air bleeding into the room more than I realized before. I grit my teeth, trying not to let him know how close he came to hitting the nail on the head.

“Thanks for the dance, Theo. I’ll see you around.”

I don’t let myself look back as I walk off the dance floor and out of the room.