Page 11 of Penance (Rising From the Ashes #2)
Lily
B enton Falls High School sits down the road from the fire department, a place I have been trying not to think about for the past three weeks—not that the town has made that easy.
Rumors about the fire—and me and Theo—haven’t died down like I hoped they would.
Instead, they seem to have started a fire of their own—one that, from experience, will be almost impossible to put out.
Summer heat blasts me in the face as I step out of my car, and I hurry across the parking lot. I’m running late, a trait I despise, but I’ve struggled to keep the mask of prime and polished Lily Carson since the fire.
Lately, I’ve been seeing more and more cracks in my veneer, and those cracks look a lot like my mother.
The shrill sound of my ringtone has me scrambling to find my phone as I walk across the street.
The jingling stops just as my hand wraps around the slim shape, but as I pull it out to turn the volume off, it starts back up again.
A familiar name flashes across the screen.
My heart is loud in my ears, and cold sweat breaks out over my skin.
I’m frozen, stuck staring at a name I haven’t seen in years.
The phone stops ringing, but I still don’t move.
Two seconds later, a text pings through.
Mom: Call me .
It’s been eight years, three months, and eighteen days since I’ve spoken to my mother.
I was nineteen the last time, and I don’t intend to end that streak now that I’m almost twenty-eight.
Squaring my shoulders, I reach for the door and yank it open, but with my mind still on my mom, I end up running into something solid.
An unladylike grunt pushes from my chest with the collision, knocking the breath out of me and heating my cheeks.
“I’m so sorry. I—” I begin, but my words are cut off.
“You should watch where you’re going, little lady. You never know who you’ll run into.”
Unease runs down my spine at the sound of the man’s voice. It’s pitched low and gravelly like a smokers, and menace hangs in the edges of it. It’s a voice I’ve heard a thousand times before—not from this man, but from men like him. Men who thrive on making women feel small.
My spine stiffens, and I take a big step back, putting space between us.
The man’s lips tilt up, revealing a row of yellowed teeth. There’s something about him that feels familiar—more than just the sound of his voice—but I can’t put my finger on why.
A door opens down the hallway and closes again, but it’s enough to make me realize I’m alone with this man.
“If you’ll excuse me,” I say, offering him a polite nod and moving to walk past him, but he moves with me, blocking my way.
He doesn’t say anything, just smiles at me like he knows something I don’t, and I debate whether I should grab my pepper spray. Before I can move, though, he winks and says, “Have a good day, Ms. Carson.”
My name on his lips sounds like a warning, and a sense of foreboding has the hairs on my arm standing up. I hold my breath as he walks closer, passing close enough to brush against me, but he doesn’t stop. He keeps walking .
I don’t breathe again until he’s completely gone.
Air whooshes out, and my shoulders slump.
Gritting my teeth, I force my feet to move down the hallway to the room where the board members are waiting.
When I reach it, I stall—just for a minute—but it’s enough to let the doubt in.
The kind that creeps over me anytime my mom reaches out.
Too much. Not enough.
It was always one or the other, but never just enough. And as much as I wish it didn’t, the doubts she created still creep in during moments like this—moments when I need to play the part and be perfect—yet no matter how hard I try, I can never reach it.
Voices come from the other side of the door. My time is up. Taking a deep breath, I open the door, but when I spy who’s sitting at one of the tables, I can’t help but wish I had taken a little more time.
Theo’s eyes go straight to me, a stupid smile on his face. I haven’t seen him since the day of the fire. I should have known I couldn’t avoid him forever, but a girl can try. Although, a closed board meeting is the last place I expected to run into him.
He notices me staring and winks, and I quickly snap my focus away from him to Abigail, who is sitting to his left.
I’ve been avoiding her, too, but my mind hardly registers her.
Instead, it’s stuck replaying the last time I was around Theo.
The way his arms held me a little tighter as my body trembled.
How my mind begged me to get my act together, but my body wouldn’t listen.
The hatred I felt after it was all said and done, not at him, but at myself.
“Ms. Carson, if you’ll join us, please—” Eric Westbrook, the board president, sits at the head of the table, his fingers steepled beneath his chin.
His voice startles me out of my thoughts, and Theo’s dark eyes slice to Eric.
Hatred burns between the two men until it thrums through the room.
A couple of the other board members shift in their seats, and I don’t move from where I stand at the door.
Theo’s ex-wife, Josephine, married Eric, and Eric hates me.
While I didn’t do as much as I should have to help Tanner last year, what I did do was enough to get on Eric’s bad side.
He didn’t like that I showed up for Theo when Tanner went missing.
That one visit to Theo’s house placed me firmly on Eric’s bad side, but I’d do it again if given the choice.
There are a lot of things I’d change about life, but doing the right thing that night isn’t one of them, especially because Eric is part of the reason things were so bad with Tanner in the first place.
He pushed too hard, to the point that Tanner didn’t listen to his body, and it almost got him killed.
Someone clears their throat, breaking Eric and Theo’s glares, and I finally move, walking to the only seat available.
The one right beside Theo.
Holding my breath, I try to avoid the smell of sandalwood and smoke for a little longer. I hold the air in until my lungs start to burn and my head begins to spin, and I only let go when I’m on the edge of passing out.
Theo leans in, his lips twitching, but before he gets too close, I scoot my chair away—at least as much as the space will allow.
Escaping Theo, though, is impossible. He’s everywhere.
In the smell that wraps around me like a familiar friend.
In the comfort of his hand on my arm. In the way, my heart beats a little harder.
He takes up space and makes it impossible to ignore him.
“Have you been avoiding me, hopeless?” he whispers. His voice washes over me, sending a shiver over my skin that I do my best to hide.
“No.”
We both know I’m lying, but he doesn’t call me on it. His lips twitch, revealing a crease around his mouth, and I hate myself for noticing it.
“If you two are finished—” Eric’s voice rumbles, annoyed that anyone would make him wait.
Theo’s jaw tightens, the muscle popping in and out, and Eric smirks. To anyone watching, it’s obvious Eric is goading Theo, but thankfully, Theo doesn’t take the bait. He shoves his hands beneath the table, working his fingers in and out of a fist, and gives Eric a sharp nod.
Even though it’s not my business—and I’d be better off letting it go—I can’t help wondering what just happened there.
It was more than just the typical hatred I’ve often seen between the two men.
I’ve never known Theo to be quiet in Eric’s presence, especially when Eric tries to get a rise out of him.
Theo isn’t shy about making his feelings known.
So why this time?
The question rolls around in my mind as Eric calls the meeting into session, but I’m no closer to an answer by the time we start than before.
“Let’s start the discussion. We have several decisions to make today. I think it would be best to start with a decision about—” Eric starts, but Abigail interrupts him.
“Actually, Mr. Westbrook, we should start this meeting with the lighter stuff. Get it out of the way before the hard stuff, shall we?”
My brows furrow, and the room goes still. The other board members swing their heads between Eric and Abigail.
Eric might be the board president, but Abigail runs the town. Going against her is social suicide, and Eric knows it, too. That doesn’t mean he likes it, though. His jaw clenches, but Abigail just taps her fingers against the table, unbothered while waiting for his answer.
Abigail just recently joined the board, and while it was a source of gossip for most of the town, I know exactly why she did it.
The woman is not a forgive and forget type of person, and this board treated her daughter poorly when she came back to town and applied for the school nurse position.
It wasn’t a slight Abigail Harrison was willing to let go, so here she is, wreaking havoc in a way only she can.
“Of course, Mrs. Harrison,” Eric concedes, almost choking on the words.
“Great, then you won’t mind if I take over from here, will you?” Abigail’s smile is smooth, but it doesn’t fool anyone. She knows exactly what she’s doing.
Eric turns purple from how hard he tries to control his temper, but he still manages to squeak out another agreement. Theo lets out a humorous snort, and I have to bite my lip to hold back a smile. Abigail isn’t the only one who enjoys seeing Eric taken down a few pegs.
Clapping her hands together, Abigail calls everyone’s attention to her. “Now that that’s settled, let’s get started. First up, the topic of the baseball coach. We have found the perfect candidate.”
“We did?” I ask, blurting out the question.
“Yes, dear. We did.” There’s something in the way she says it that puts me on edge—like I’m missing the final piece of a puzzle.