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JASON

I was bone-tired as I walked through the front door of my house at fucking one-thirty in the morning. The past few days had been hell, but we somehow came out on top. Thankfully, Tahlia said Carli had been doing fine at her house. That was one less thing to worry about. I trudged up the stairs to my room, only to come to a halt when I sensed someone else in the room.

Slowly, I pulled my gun and pushed the door open. Relief washed over me when I saw Izzy curled up in my bed. I hadn’t invited her over, but I was glad as hell that she felt comfortable enough to come over. I quickly rid myself of my clothes, locking my gun away for safekeeping. It was hard as hell to get used to not having it at my fingertips, but with Carli here, there was no way I could take the chance.

Sliding into bed behind Izzy, I pulled her body into mine, pressing my lips to her cheek. She moaned, rolling into me and wrapping her arms around my body. “You’re home.”

“Yeah, baby.”

“I’m sorry I’m in your bed.”

“I’m not,” I rumbled, sliding my hand over her back, down to cup her ass. “Fuck, I love having you here.”

My cock was already hard, thinking about what was underneath her clothes. I rolled her over, pressing her into the mattress as I nudged between her thighs.

“Wait, Jason?—”

My gaze met hers instantly. “What is it, baby?”

Her chin trembled as her eyes welled with tears. “Knight…”

“He’s fine.”

She blinked rapidly, shaking her head at my words. “What?”

“He’s recovering?—”

She shoved up from under me, her eyes wild as she stared at me. “I don’t understand. Eva came by and said he was dead.”

Fuck, I knew this would be an issue. I hadn’t been able to tell anyone he was alive. It was better that way for safety purposes. I sat up, taking her hand in mine. “Baby, I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you. We had to move him to a secure location, and until then, we couldn’t take the risk that anyone knew he was alive.”

“Because you thought I’d say something?” she snapped.

“No, not at all. But with these people, we can’t trust that our lines are secure. If anyone had overheard anything, it would have meant death for more than Knight.”

She jerked her hand out of mine, getting out of bed. “And what about my mother? Was there some security reason that you couldn’t tell me about her?”

I winced at the anger in her voice. I turned on the nightstand light so I could actually see her. “Baby?—”

“Don’t you dare Baby me. Why are you hiding things from me?”

“Because I know you don’t have the best relationship with your mom. I didn’t want her screwing up your progress.”

“And that was your decision to make?” she snapped.

“I did what I thought was best,” I answered unapologetically.

She scoffed at my answer, running her fingers through her short hair. “Right. Everyone does what they think is best for me. I lived with a fucking maniac for years. I was ruled by him and had no choice but to let him make every decision for me. Is that what you want? You want to be like him?”

“Of course not!” I shouted, getting out of bed. I strode over to her and pulled her into my arms, though she resisted from getting too close, and that tore my fucking heart out. “Izzy, I would never?—”

“Don’t! Don’t you dare tell me you would never be like him because you purposely kept my own mother from me. And for what? Because you thought I wouldn’t be able to handle having her around?” She stepped back, tears glistening in her eyes as she shook her head in disbelief. “That wasn’t your decision to make. I was blindsided when she showed up here!”

“That wasn’t supposed to happen. I told her to stay away.”

“And that makes it better? You can’t just play with my life like that! You don’t get to decide anything about my life, Jason.”

Sighing, I thrust my hands on my hips and stared at the ground. I knew what she was saying, but I was only trying to protect her. “What would you have me do? Intentionally put you in danger, knowing whatever happens could fuck with your head and put you right back in a place where I could lose you?”

When she didn’t answer, I looked up at her stricken face. “So that’s what it all comes down to,” she whispered. “Everything I do from here on out will come back to what happened before.”

“It’s a concern.”

She nodded. “Which is why you really don’t want me alone with Carli. You’re afraid I’ll go crazy and hurt her somehow.”

“No, that’s not?—”

“That’s exactly what this is about. You know, if you would just discuss things with me, I could talk it through with you, but you didn’t even give me the chance. You just made up your mind that I’m a threat.”

“You’re not a threat.”

“Then why are you hiding things from me?”

I didn’t know what to tell her. Protecting her was not the same thing as assuming she would end up back in that state of mind where she wanted to hurt herself. But I did worry about it, didn’t I?

“I can’t believe this,” she whispered to herself. “I assumed that when you said you loved me and wanted to be with me that you trusted me and believed in me.” Her tear-filled eyes looked up into mine. “Tell me now, Jason. How worried are you that I’ll lose it and end up in the psych ward again?”

I didn’t have an answer for her. And the longer I stared at her, the faster the tears fell down her face. “I’m trying, Izzy. I— I didn’t expect any of this.”

She nodded, her eyes dropping. “I think I should go home.”

“Stay,” I pleaded, but she stepped around me, only stopping when I gently grabbed her arm. “Izzy, I do love you.”

“Maybe that’s not enough,” she said softly. “I need someone who believes in me, Jason. I fought like hell to get out of the headspace Zavala left me in. You have no idea how much it hurts to hear that you don’t see that or believe that I can be strong enough to overcome it.”

Her words struck a chord in me, instantly making me regret my lack of confidence in her. I wanted to go to her and tell her I did trust her, but that wouldn’t solve anything. Flipping the script would seem disingenuous. So, I let her walk away, knowing it was tearing both of us apart because I needed to figure out how to fully trust her and believe that we could work through anything. Otherwise, there was no hope for us.