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32

IZZY

I was a nervous wreck, and it didn’t hit me until I was standing in Jason’s house, well aware of what I’d asked for earlier. Sex wasn’t the problem. No, the issue was that I hadn’t thought this through. I wasn’t wearing anything particularly sexy. I had no lacy panties or lingerie. In fact, I was pretty sure I was wearing cotton underwear.

Jesus, this was such a terrible idea. Why hadn’t I talked to Vira first? She would have made sure I was ready for this. She could have taken me shopping and?—

I pressed my hand to my cheek as I thought of the state of my…lower regions. Zavala had always made sure I was perfectly trimmed down there, just the way he liked. Since I’d come home, I hadn’t done a single thing to maintain myself, other than basic care. I wasn’t growing a bush, but I wasn’t exactly waxed and buffed for Jason.

Oh my God, what was I doing? This was a terrible idea. I needed to leave. I grabbed my purse and headed for the door, but before I could get there, Jason walked out of his kitchen with two glasses of wine and a smirk on his face.

“Leaving so soon?”

I spun around and pressed my hand to my chest as anxiety rippled through me. “Hey,” I chuckled, trying to figure a way out of this. “I was just…” I motioned for the door, not sure what I was going to say.

“Running?”

He walked toward me and handed over a wine glass. I took it reluctantly, but the moment I saw that gleam in his eyes, I downed half the glass. Yikes, that was not the way wine was supposed to be drunk.

“So, you want to tell me why you’re freaking out?”

Did I want to tell him? He would never understand. He’d probably tell me I was overreacting, but I knew better. Men would say anything to get laid. Well, anyone but Zavala.

I shook my head, refusing to think about him right now. That wouldn’t help a thing. “I know you probably won’t understand this, but I didn’t really consider…all the ways I would need to be prepared for tonight.”

“Such as?” He wasn’t mocking me—just genuinely curious.

“Well…” I licked my lips, trying to form the embarrassing words. In the end, I just had to speak them. “I’m not wearing anything sexy. I literally have on cotton underwear.”

“So?”

“And things are not…trimmed as they should be.” God, the mortification levels were at a fever pitch right now.

But as I looked at him, his eyes seemed to darken with need instead of the disgust I expected to see. “Izzy, are you telling me you have a full bush right now?”

“Not—it’s just not—God, this is so embarrassing,” I muttered. “Can we just do a redo on tonight? I’ll go home and make wiser choices. You can wait here or…I don’t know. Maybe you don’t want to wait for me. Maybe you want to scrap the whole night and?—”

He was in front of me seconds later, pressing his finger to my lips. Those beautiful, dark eyes roamed over my face, taking in every single inch of my skin. I felt naked under his gaze, completely stripped of every secret I had.

Slowly, his finger slid down my lips and over my chin, then glazed over my neck. My breath hitched as he brushed his finger over my breast, then gripped my hip, pulling me closer. His wine glass was gone now—where, I didn’t know. I was too busy watching him watch me, wondering what he was thinking.

I got my answer a minute later when his fingers deftly worked at the zipper of my pants and stripped them down my legs. Standing in front of him in only my everyday underwear, I felt even more on display than if I were naked.

A small squeak left my lips as his hand slid into my underwear and he gave a sharp tug on my hair. His eyes flared in excitement as he slid between my legs, swiping at the moisture rapidly building.

“Fuck, Izzy…Are you telling me you thought I wouldn’t like this?”

“I—” His finger thrust inside me, making me choke on my response. My hands flew to his arms, bracing myself as he nudged my legs apart with his knee. Hot breath coated my skin as his lips hovered over mine. My eyelashes fluttered as I tried and failed to keep my eyes locked on his. A dizzying feeling washed over me as he pumped his fingers in and out of me, driving me toward a cataclysmic orgasm that I knew would shatter me.

“You’re so fucking pretty with my fingers ravaging your pussy. Look at me, Izzy. Keep those gorgeous eyes on mine.”

It took everything in me to focus on him instead of letting my emotions swallow me whole. I gasped as he thrust hard inside me. His tongue trailed over my lower lip, then he bit hard, breaking the skin just as his thumb slid over my clit and sent me spiraling. My whole body shook with pleasure and my nails dug into his arms as I struggled to hold myself upright.

“That’s it, baby. Take what you need.”

Heart hammering, lungs tightening…I was hardly in control of anything. Black spots dotted my vision as my body swayed from the force of my orgasm. And just when I thought I would pass out, Jason caught me, tugging me into his arms as his tongue licked at the abused skin of my lip.

“You’re so fucking beautiful when you come,” he murmured.

My head lolled against his shoulder as he carried me upstairs. I felt like a rag doll as he took me to his room. “Don’t fall asleep on me, sweetheart. I’ve got plans for you.”

“Sounds dangerous,” I murmured as a chuckle left my lips. “I think you’re dangerous for me.”

“Never,” he answered, kissing me sweetly as he laid me on the bed. His thumb brushed against my lip. He shook his head, frowning at the blood on the pad of his thumb.

“It’s okay.”

“It’s never okay,” he growled, his eyes flashing.

I didn’t want him getting lost in his head, thinking about things that didn’t matter. I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him closer as I ran my hands up and down his thick biceps.

“Make love to me.”

“Always.” His lips crashed down on mine in a bruising kiss that lit my soul on fire.

I clung to him, tearing at his shirt, desperate to feel his heated skin against mine. The moment his clothes hit the floor, he was on me, ripping my shirt in two, completely decimating it. I chuckled as his lips met mine again in an urgent kiss.

“What are you laughing at?”

“Just wondering how you expect me to go home without any clothes.”

“Who said anything about letting you go home?” he asked, palming my breast.

I inhaled sharply as his thumb brushed over my nipple. I thought maybe I’d be able to control myself a little more around this man, but instead, it was like every interaction made me even more desperate for him.

His cock nudged at my entrance, but he didn’t give me what I wanted. Instead, he rocked against me, driving me insane as he lowered his head and took a nipple in his mouth, sucking gently. Every ragged breath I drew in left me feeling dizzy and needy.

“Look at you, baby. You’re so fucking beautiful when you have my cock pressed against you.”

“I need you inside me,” I gasped.

“Patience,” he ground out. “I enjoy teasing you.”

But I’d had enough. I grabbed his ass and yanked him forward, pulling him inside me. The sudden fullness was almost too much, and his thick girth had me crying out.

“Fuck,” he hissed. “I fucking told you to be patient.” His eyes darkened as he forced himself to hold back. Tension bracketed his mouth as he rocked slowly inside me, working me open for him. It was nearly too much, almost overwhelming in his sheer size. But with every thrust of his hips, I opened a little further for him, taking him fully inside me as the pain subsided.

“There’s my girl.” He lowered his lips to mine, pressing sweet kisses to my lips. I hadn’t expected him to be so soft, and now that he was, I worried it was because he felt he had to be gentle with me. I wouldn’t break.

“Are you ready for more?”

Oh, thank God.

I nodded, gasping as he pulled out and thrust hard inside me. My whole body rocked against his as he held me to him. He knelt before me, his muscles pulsing as he ground his cock into me over and over again. And if that wasn’t enough to send me over the edge, his thumb slid over my clit, swirling in dizzying patterns until everything started to turn dark. “Jason!” I cried out as my body tightened around him. “Don’t stop!”

His arms curled under me, pulling me to him. In a flash, he rolled us over, placing me astride his lap. His lips latched onto my neck, sucking hard as he palmed my breast, tweaking my nipple. My hips acted on their own, riding him hard as I closed my eyes and memorized the feel of him deep inside me.

“Izzy,” he breathed, kissing me hard. His tongue lashed with mine, swallowing me as he gripped the back of my neck and held me to him. I was so lost in his touch, in the feel of him so completely consuming me. Not even the ache in my legs could stop me from taking every last drop of pleasure I needed.

“Oh God,” I whispered, wrapping my arms around his neck, holding him to me.

“That’s it, baby. Ride me. Take my cock and fuck yourself hard,” he grumbled.

I clenched around him, squeezing his cock as I slammed my body down on him again and again, holding on for dear life. I could feel him so deep inside me, tipping me over the edge yet again.

“Fuck, Izzy.” His arms wrapped around my waist and he slammed his mouth against mine as he held me, spilling his cum inside me.

Panting hard, I buried my face against him, sucking in a ragged breath as his hand slowly skimmed my back. Tears pricked my eyes as something inside me broke. The walls came tumbling down as sobs shook my body. I couldn’t control them, couldn’t force them back, and was left a shaking mess.

“Hey,” he whispered, pressing his lips against my temple. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

He did, but I didn’t have myself. It had been so long since anyone had touched me with so much love. I hadn’t realized how much I needed it until right now. The overwhelming feelings rushing through me made it impossible to differentiate between love and desire. The words were on the tip of my tongue, desperate to spill out, but fear held me back. I didn’t want him to run from me, even though I knew those words meant something to him.

Tender hands brushed the hair back from my face, wiping the tears from my eyes. It was only when I finally looked at him that I saw the truth staring back at me. This man was slowly tearing away the broken pieces and mending them. I could feel it happening every day, but this…

I didn’t know how to accept that kind of love.

I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to return it, either.

* * *

I snuggled into his chest, refusing to wake up after such an amazing night. I’d been exhausted after our first time, but that didn’t stop him from waking me in the middle of the night for another round, or sliding between my legs just a few hours ago. I had been well and truly fucked, and after every kiss, I fell deeper for this man, wishing I could find the words to tell him just how much he meant to me.

“Baby,” he rumbled, sliding his hand up the back of my neck as he pulled me in for a kiss. “Morning.”

He stole my breath, then slid his hand down my stomach, circling his finger over my clit. I gasped, spreading my legs for him, relishing in his touch first thing in the morning. I could scarcely breathe as he slid his fingers through the wetness between my thighs.

“Jason,” I moaned.

“Tell me what you need, baby.”

I was too shy to say anything. The way he spoke to me turned me on, but reciprocating wasn’t something I was comfortable with yet. My eyes slid closed as he slid two fingers inside me. If my nails digging into his skin were hurting him, he said nothing.

“So fucking wet for me,” he groaned, pressing his cock against my thigh. “Tell me how much you want my cock.”

A strangled moan slipped from my lips as he shifted between my legs. A buzzing, desperation swept over me, but before he could shove his thick length inside me, the doorbell went off, interrupting our morning.

“Fuck,” he groaned, pressing his lips to mine. “If I don’t answer, they’ll go away.”

I was about to take him up on that offer when his phone buzzed, putting an end to our morning wakeup call. “Ugh, don’t tell me it’s work.”

“Shouldn’t be,” he mumbled, sliding across the bed to his phone. With a heavy sigh, he got out of bed. “It’s Tahlia. She’s downstairs with Carli.”

“I thought she was going to take her for the morning?” I asked, not really upset, but confused.

“She’s been throwing up all night.”

I tossed off the covers and quickly dressed, knowing nothing was more important at the moment. Jason was a great father, and I knew as much as he wanted to stay in bed with me, there was nothing that would stop him from taking care of his little girl.

“Should I leave?” I asked as I pulled my shirt over my head.

“You might want to,” he winced. “I don’t want you to catch whatever she has.”

I didn’t particularly care. I felt more at home right now in this house than if I went home and sat there all alone. But when we got downstairs, it was clear that Carli only wanted her dad. The poor girl looked absolutely miserable.

“Hey, baby girl,” Jason whispered, taking Carli out of Tahlia’s arms.

“I’m really sorry about this,” Tahlia apologized. “She’s been asking for you all morning.”

“It’s okay,” he answered immediately, pressing a kiss to his daughter’s head. “Hey, baby.” His hand went to her forehead and he frowned. “How long has she had a temperature?”

“It started in the middle of the night. I was going to give her medicine, but she kept throwing up.”

Tahlia looked past Jason to me, giving me a sympathetic look. “Sorry about this.”

“It’s not a problem,” I reassured her.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it. Let me know if you need anything,” Tahlia smiled, brushing her fingers across the little girl’s cheeks.

I closed the door behind Tahlia, then turned to Jason, wondering what I could do to help. He sat on the couch, rubbing his hand up and down Carli’s back as she snuggled into him.

“Can I get you anything?”

He shook his head, his concentration completely on his daughter. Part of me really wanted to stay, but the other part of me wondered if I was intruding. He’d never had this with her before, and it felt like I was only in the way.

“I should go.”

His eyes lifted to meet mine. “You can stay if you want.”

I smiled at the way Carli slept on him. “This is something you should get all for yourself.”

An amused smile crossed his face. “The potential of her getting sick on me? You don’t want to share in that?”

“You know what I mean. She needs you right now, and this is your first time getting to comfort her when she’s sick.”

“I think you’re making this out to be more special than it is.”

Maybe I was, but I never got that. I never held my daughter in my arms when she wasn’t feeling well. I never got to feel her snuggles when all she wanted was me. Maybe it was a silly thing to remember, but it seemed important, even if he didn’t realize it.

“I’ll just?—”

“Izzy,” he said softly, holding out his hand to me. “Stay.”

I was about to tell him I couldn’t, but I really didn’t want to go home. And to be honest, he looked so damn sexy with his daughter sleeping on him. Maybe other women dreamed of a man who would focus on her one hundred percent of the time, but after what I’d been through, watching him cherish his child like this was a flashing neon sign of things to come. And I wanted to be part of it.

I strode over and sat down beside him, resting my hand on Carli’s back. The heat pouring off her instantly had me worried. “She feels really warm.”

He nodded. “I don’t know what to do.”

Unfortunately, through my own experience, I knew exactly what to do. We couldn’t give her medicine since she kept throwing up, but we needed to cool her down. “Let’s give her a bath. It might help her relax and bring down her temperature.”

“Yeah? Shouldn’t I give her a cold shower?”

I shook my head. “You’ll make her shiver, which will only raise her core temperature.”

He stood gently, careful not to wake her, and we headed upstairs. I went ahead of him, making a lukewarm bath for her. She was going to hate it, but if it helped, she’d be feeling better soon. I was in the bathroom when I heard it, the retching and Jason’s low curse. I hurried toward her bedroom just in time to see Carli crying as Jason held her away from his body that was now covered in puke.

“Hey, it’s okay,” I said, rushing over to take her from him. “I’ve got this.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, shooting me a panicked look.

I nodded and pulled her into my arms, rubbing her back as she sniffled. God, she must be miserable. “I’ve got this. Why don’t you get cleaned up in the other bathroom?”

His eyes locked on his daughter and the indecision warred on his face. I knew he didn’t want to leave her, but if he stayed, he’d only make her vomit again from the smell.

“It’ll be fine. I promise to take good care of her.”

After a moment, he leaned in and kissed me, lingering for a second. “Thank you.”