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20

JASON

“Carli!” I called out, wondering what the hell was taking her so long. I’d sent her upstairs to brush her teeth ten minutes ago.

I looked at my watch and sighed. I was supposed to be in a meeting right now, but instead, I was trying to convince my four-year-old to get her butt out the door.

“Carli!” I shouted again. “If you don’t get down here in three seconds, I’m coming to get you!”

I heard a giggle from upstairs and rolled my eyes. The kid didn’t even have any fear when it came to me. Maybe that was my fault. Had I been too soft with her? Hell, I didn’t know what I was doing.

“One!” A burst of laughter came from upstairs. “Two!” A squeal. “Three!”

When she didn’t come down, I got really pissed and stomped up the stairs, marching down the hall to her room. When I walked inside, she was nowhere to be seen.

“Carli, this isn’t the time for games. I’m supposed to be at work right now.”

I was trying to hold my temper, but she was really pushing my buttons this morning. She wouldn’t eat her breakfast unless I played a game with her, and then she refused to get dressed until I guessed which fairy princess she was. And since I wasn’t up to date on fairy princesses, it took forever until I got her dressed.

I heard a little giggle from under the bed and got down on my knees, searching for the little rugrat. “Get out here now.”

“Daddy, you’re supposed to say, found you!”

“I’m gonna be saying a hell of a lot more than that if you don’t get out from under that bed. I told you to brush your teeth.”

“I did, Daddy. See?” She spread her little cheeks wide in a smile as she showed me her teeth.

“Then what have you been doing for the past ten minutes?”

“Playing,” she said as if I was stupid.

“Carli, get out here now.” My temper was on the verge of snapping. It was taking everything in me to control the anger surging inside me. I was used to dealing with terrorists and people I could kill. That wasn’t a possibility with my daughter.

“Daddy, you’re ruining the game.”

If she thought her sweet voice was going to make me crumble, she was wrong. I got to my feet and turned for the door.

“Stay under the bed, then. I’m leaving.”

I stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind me. The instant I heard her screams, I knew I’d won. The door crashed against the wall as she flung it open and came running out, throwing herself against my legs.

“Daddy!” she screamed.

“I told you it was time to leave, but you didn’t listen,” I chastised. “Now you can stay home.”

Tears streamed down her reddened cheeks, and it took me a minute to recognize the terror in her eyes as she clung to me.

“Goddamnit,” I cursed under my breath, immediately hauling her up into my arms and holding her tight to my body. I carried her back into her room, but she started thrashing in my arms.

“No, Daddy! No, don’t leave me! I’ll be good! No, no, no!” she screamed hysterically. Snot dripped down her face as she cried out, her little hands clawing at my shirt to stay with me.

“Shh,” I whispered, trying to calm her down. Her bedroom was the wrong place to take her. I headed into my bedroom right next to hers and took her to the bed, sitting down with her still tucked against me. “Baby girl, calm down. Hey, I’m not leaving.”

“I’ll be good, Daddy! I promise! I’ll be good!”

Her screams tore my heart out. My eyes slipped closed as I rubbed my hand up and down her back, trying to soothe her after I just caused probably the most traumatic moment of her life since she lost her mom.

“Baby girl, I’m so sorry. I would never leave you. I swear. I would never leave you.”

I repeated it over and over again, knowing she needed to hear the words. I felt so stupid. I hadn’t even considered the way my words would affect her. My mother had threatened to leave us behind all the time to get our asses in gear. It just never occurred to me that it would have such a different meaning for her.

And I should have realized it. I was her father. I was supposed to protect her. That’s what I promised the night I took her home.

“Carli,” I whispered, pulling her away from me. She screamed and cried, refusing to let me go. I finally stopped trying to pull her away from me and just sat with her, rocking her in my arms until she calmed down. Her sobs had died to hiccuping breaths. With every stroke of my hand down her back, she calmed down just a little more.

“Carli, I would never leave you.” I pressed a kiss to her forehead and continued rubbing her back. “I was only trying to get you to listen, but I made a mistake, okay?”

Her breath stuttered again as she hugged me tighter. “Okay.”

But I didn’t believe it for a second.

“Hey, look at me.”

Gently prying her away from me, those big eyes finally met mine, and the wariness in them gutted me. I hated that I’d put that fear there. I hadn’t meant to hurt her, but I’d done it all the same.

“Baby girl, I didn’t mean to scare you, okay? I just wanted you to listen, and I shouldn’t have said I was going to leave you. I was wrong. I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t want you to leave me like momma.” Tears leaked from her eyes as she tried not to cry.

“I’m not going to leave you. And your momma never would have left you if she could help it. Believe me, you were the best thing in her life. She would have stayed with you forever. She loved you so much.”

Her chin trembled as she stared straight at my chest. “Do you still love me, Daddy?”

I tilted her chin up so she could see me. “Baby girl, I love you more than anything in this world, and that will never change.”

“Even if I hide under the bed?”

My lips quirked up at the side. “Even then. But how about we make a deal?”

“Okay,” she agreed hesitantly.

“I promise to never ever say anything like that to you again, but I need you to do something for me. I need you to do your best to listen.”

She nodded immediately. “I promise, Daddy.”

“Do you forgive me?”

“Yes.”

She threw herself back into my arms and held me tight, and while I felt like I’d made amends with her, I knew the damage was already done. It would take days or weeks for her to trust me again completely.

“Hey, do you want to come to work with me today?”

She jerked back, a huge smile spreading across her lips. “Yes!”

“Alright, but you have to listen because people are working.”

“I promise,” she said excitedly, bouncing in my arms.

“Okay, let’s get your shoes on.”

She hopped out of my arms and ran around her room to look for them. Sighing, I rubbed my hand over my face, cursing myself for being such a fucking disaster. I still couldn’t believe what I had done.

“Daddy, I’m ready!”

But I put those feelings in the back seat and put a smile on my face because my little girl needed me to make this right for her, and beating myself up right now wouldn’t help her. I stood and held out my hand to her, but she instantly held her arms up for me to pick her up. I instantly obliged, holding her in my arms.

I didn’t know how I was going to get through the day with her clinging to me, but if anyone had a problem with it, they could fuck off. My little girl needed me, and she was more important than any job.

* * *

“When do I get a password, Daddy?”

I chuckled at her excitement. “A passkey. You don’t. Not until you’re much older.”

She pouted, clearly finding that unacceptable. “But what if I need to save you?”

“Why would you need to save me?”

“From the baddies,” she said, cocking her head to the side. “Johnny said you protect me from baddies.”

I was going to kick Johnny’s ass the next time I saw him. “Yep, I do, but I promise you’ll never have to save me.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s my job to protect you.”

The doors of the elevator opened to the third floor and her eyes went wide at the massive amount of electronics on the walls and people milling about.

“What do you think?”

“It’s big!”

“This is only one floor. There’s a lot more.”

Her head whipped to mine and her hair smacked me in the face. “There is?”

“Yep. There’s a training floor and—” I was about to tell her about the weapons and the interrogation rooms, but that would have to wait until she was much, much older. “—and a lot of other stuff.”

I headed down the hall, still holding her in my arms. She hadn’t let go since I picked her up on the way out, and I wasn’t sure that was going to change anytime soon. A few people gave me curious glances, but went on their way, but it was when I entered the conference room that things got interesting.

Lock stopped mid-sentence, staring at me in confusion. Then the whole table turned and watched me warily, but it was Johnny who got up and came over with a grin on his face.

“Hey, Carli Sue. What are you doing here today?”

Carlie Sue? “That’s not her name.”

He shot me a stupid look and immediately went back to my daughter. “Daddy couldn’t let you go, huh?”

She beamed at him, refusing to let go of me. “He needed me to come with him.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?” Johnny asked.

She looked at him seriously, all traces of humor gone. “To protect him from the baddies.”

A few chuckles filled the silence, but were quickly squashed with a single glare from me.

“Of course you will. Do you want to sit with me?” he asked, holding out his hand to her.

“No. I’m staying with Daddy.” She tucked herself even further into me and Johnny eyed me warily.

I shook my head slightly. We’d talk about it later, and he’d no doubt kick my ass for causing her trauma that would last for the next ten years.

“Okay, well, let’s get back to the agenda,” Lock said, clearing his throat.

I took a seat at the end of the table, shifting Carli so she was on my lap, facing the table. She put her arms up on the surface, staring at Lock intently. He started to speak, but glanced at her and shifted uncomfortably. It wasn’t every day a four-year-old sat in on meetings and could intimidate the hell out of one of us.

“Uh…Where were we?” Lock asked, shifting through his papers.

“Protection detail for Michelle Frazier,” Patrick said, pulling the focus back to the meeting.

“Right. Mrs. Frazier walked in on her husband being—” Lock’s eyes flicked to Carli’s and he cleared his throat. “Unalived. When she tried to flee, she was held at—” Again, his eyes flicked to Carli’s. “Pew pews. The…baddies searched the residence for something, but when they didn’t find it, they?—”

He clenched his jaw, trying to figure out what to say. I smirked at him, finding the whole thing kind of funny.

“—they played a game of…scratch-off on the canvas of the woman’s outer regions,” Lock hedged.

Everyone else glanced around, trying to hold back their laughter at his description.

“What was the message?” Chase asked, always down to business.

Lock turned to the screen and clicked a button, showing a picture of a bloody woman’s chest with words carved into it. I immediately covered Carli’s face with my hand, glaring at Lock for showing that kind of shit in front of her.

“Seriously?” I snapped. “You couldn’t say gun, but that you show?”

He fumbled with the remote, quickly shutting it down. “Shit. Sorry. I’m not used to tempering my words or our information because we’ve got little ears around!”

“Daddy, why is he worried about saying gun? You have a gun.”

“I know, baby girl.”

“You say gun all the time.”

“I do.”

“Is he afraid of the word?”

I held back a chuckle. “Maybe.”

“Momma used to say that fearing a word is silly.”

My eyes flicked to Lock’s, who was glaring daggers at me. “That’s true.”

She motioned for me to come closer, then cupped her hand to whisper in my ear, though she wasn’t very quiet. “Maybe you should tell him that.”

That got a few laughs out of everyone in the room, but I could tell having my daughter here was only going to cause problems. I was just about to suggest I leave this meeting when a very familiar show tune filled the halls.

“Baby, whatever you hear?—”

But I didn’t get a chance to finish. Fox came rolling through the door in a pair of roller skates, singing “Good Morning”. “Not this again,” I groaned.

“He watched Singin’ In The Rain with Eva last night,” Lock muttered. “Should have known this was coming.”

“What’s coming, Daddy?”

I looked at my little girl and prayed she would be spared from the worst of it. “This man’s name is Fox. He’s a little weird.”

Fox’s voice carried throughout the room as he skated around the table, spinning Rae around in her wheelie chair. You would think the man was high on drugs.

“Momma said it’s not nice to call people names.”

“That’s true,” I nodded.

He came skidding to a stop in front of us, grinning at my daughter with bright eyes. “And what do we have here? Dost I see thou littlest of fair maidens?”

Carli leaned back, then looked at me. “You’re right, Daddy. He’s weird.”

“Weird is a relative term,” Fox grinned. He pulled a bag of Funyuns out to my daughter. “A tasty treat for?—”

I snatched the bag out of his hand before he could get my child addicted to Funyuns. “There will be no yellow snacks allowed in my house.”

Fox flinched back. “No…But…why?”

“Because I don’t want her to start singing show tunes and throwing knives at the drop of a hat,” I growled.

Carli whipped her head around to meet Fox’s gaze. “You throw knives?”

The awe in her voice made me instantly regret my words.

“Why, yes, fair maiden. ‘Tis but a favorite pastime I enjoy.”

“What’s a pastime?”

“Alright,” I said, cutting him off. “I think we’ve seen enough of Fox for one day.”

“Actually,” Lock spoke up. “A little tour might not be a bad idea while we finish up the meeting.”

If I could burn Lock’s house down right now, I would. The fact that he even mentioned my daughter and Fox in the same sentence made me want to commit mass murder.

“There will be no tour,” I ground out.

Jack coughed, shaking his head at me. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

My gaze snapped to his and I covered her ears with my hands. “She could come back as a psychotic killer.”

“Not very likely.”

”—are what we call throwing knives,” Fox said, getting on his haunches for her to see what he was holding.

She held out her little hand and touched them, giggling when they ran along the smooth metal.

“No, there will be no showing knives. This isn’t happening!”

“Daddy, can I get a set of throwing knives?” Carli asked, looking up at me pleadingly.

“No. Absolutely not.”

Her chin quivered for the second time today and it really fucked with my head. “Why not?”

Why not? Because all I could picture was her dancing up and down the halls, throwing knives at dummies while singing show tunes. She was young and impressionable. I couldn’t allow Fox to dig his claws into her.

“Because knives are dangerous and you have to know how to use them.”

“But he could teach me.” She spun around and faced him. “Couldn’t you, Mister Fox?”

I wanted to punch the wide grin off his face.

“I could. I happen to be the very best at what I do, and I’m an excellent teacher.”

“Please, Daddy! Please!”

I didn’t want to let her go. She was my little girl, and she was supposed to play with Barbies and Care Bears, not knives. I wanted better for her than the life I lived, and she wasn’t going to get that if I let her run off with Fox.

But I fucked up this morning and scared her. I needed a win with her, and the way she was looking at me right now, I just couldn’t find it in my heart to tell her no.

“On one condition.”

She nodded excitedly.

“You listen to everything Fox tells you, and if you don’t, you won’t ever be able to use throwing knives again. They’re very dangerous. Do you understand me?”

Her big brown eyes smiled back at me. She flung her arms around me and hugged me tight. “I do. I promise. I’ll listen to everything he tells me. I won’t do anything he tells me not to.”

“Okay. But first, I need you to use the bathroom.” I turned pleadingly to Rae. “Could you take her?”

Rae smirked at me, knowing exactly what I was about to do. “Come on, kiddo. Let’s go to the bathroom while your daddy threatens Fox’s life.”

“Why would he do that?” she asked as she followed Rae out of the room.

The moment she was out of sight, I grabbed Fox by the shirt and tossed him up against the wall. He had little defense when the roller skates made him slide all over the place.

“Now, you listen to me right now. That little girl is everything to me, and if you let a single blade slice her, I will gut you like a fish and leave you outside for the birds to peck at. I won’t even make sure you’re dead yet. You are not to teach her about killing people, and you are not to discuss anything about death with her. Is that clear?”

“Whoa, chill, man. I have kids. I know how to talk to them.”

“Your kids are just as psychotic as you,” I snarled.

He chuckled. “Well, with any luck, maybe there’s a good marriage match in there, right?”

I slammed my fist into his gut, letting him fall to the floor as the skates rolled out from underneath him. But instead of feeling the pain of my hit, he laughed at me as only Fox could.

“Would you relax? I’m not going to do anything stupid. I’ll teach her about holding the knives. That’s it.”

“You swear it?”

“Yes.”

I nodded.

“The whole killing thing won’t happen until she’s practiced on trees for at least a few weeks.”

I lunged for him, but someone grabbed me from behind, holding me back as Fox scrambled to his feet, skating out of the room as he laughed.

“Calm down. You know he’s not going to teach her to murder anyone,” Johnny muttered.

I shrugged him off, pissed that he stopped me from beating Fox’s ass. “If he lets her anywhere near a mannequin with those knives, it’s you I’ll be coming after.”

“I’d be more worried that he’ll feed her shawarma,” Patrick said, shaking his head. “You never know what he’ll put in that shit.”

Sighing, I sat back down, trying to regain control before I stormed out and decided to quit my job. I needed the protection of OPS now that I had Carli. I couldn’t rely on just myself to keep her safe. Besides, Tahlia was here, and I would never take Carli away from her.

Rae strode back into the room minutes later, smirking at me as she took her seat. “You can relax. She’s in the training room and I made sure she was fully protected before she went anywhere near knives.”

“Thank you,” I grunted, still angry, but at least a little more at ease.

“So, we’re good now?” Lock asked. “We can get back to the meeting?”

“Yeah.”

“Right, so…fuck, I don’t even remember where we were.”

“The unalived woman,” Nick reminded him.

“Right. Rae?”

She pulled up the picture again, showing us the message carved into the woman’s chest. It was a date and time, which left us very little to go on.

“So, we don’t actually know what these assholes are after?” Chase asked.

“No. We’re digging into the husband now. He’s a stockbroker, so God knows what kind of unsavory contacts he’s come across. In the meantime, I need your team to get out to him and take over for local PD,” he said, sliding the folder to Chase.

“The local LEOs don’t want him going anywhere just yet. They’re trying to gather as much intel as possible. But as soon as you get the all-clear, get her back here under our roof.”

“Will do.”

Chase’s team stood up, walking out of the room with their orders. Lock moved on to our team.

“How’s Isabelle?”

“Doing better,” I acknowledged. “And call her Izzy. She no longer likes being called Isabelle.”

He looked surprised by the information, but said nothing else. “I heard she got out and did some regular shit. That’s good, but now we’re running low on personnel. We’re going to have to keep a tighter rein on when she goes out.”

She wouldn’t like that very much. “I understand, but telling her what to do now would only set her back.”

“Would you rather she end up dead?” Lock said bluntly.

“No, but I also don’t want to see her end up in the psych ward again. Locking her up will only make things worse.”

“We’re hardly locking her up,” Lock snapped. “She’s got the whole compound to roam around on.”

“Just like the island,” Johnny surmised, making my point for me. “Look, nobody wants to see Izzy backslide.” His gaze flicked to Jack. “If Jason takes point, Jack and I can follow at a distance when she wants to go out. At least then she’ll be protected.”

“Are you okay with that?” Lock asked.

I was going to have to be. The alternative was much worse. “Yes.”

“Alright. As for the situation with Cash and Knight…We still don’t have anything more to go on. Cash hasn’t checked in and we have no information that leads us to believe that the attacks are over.” His eyes flicked to mine. “I don’t know if you’re aware, but Claire was not at the house when we tried to retrieve her. Michael got to her first. Since then, he’s been keeping her safe, but I received a message last night that I can only assume is from him. He’s asked us to keep Claire safe until he can come for her. He wants to bring her here.”

I stiffened at that. “You want to let him onto the property?”

“I’m not sure what the best course of action is. I haven’t discussed this with Kavanaugh yet. I feel he may be too close to the situation to think clearly. But we all know the last word his father spoke.”

Shadow.

It could be a coincidence or it could be the most fucked up thing ever to happen to Cash. “If we let him on the property, we have no idea what he might do while he’s here.”

Lock nodded. “You’re right. We would need Rae and Dash to put their skills to work to catch any devices he may have on him. Then again, if we don’t let him on the property, we would be showing our hand. Right now, he thinks we’re still on his side. If he is behind this and we prove we’re no longer loyal to his family, he might become even more dangerous. And that’s a battle we’re not prepared for at this time. We don’t have enough information yet about who we’re fighting. Michael cannot be the only person behind The Syndicate. There have to be more of them.”

“How do we know Claire’s not in on it?” Jack asked.

“Fuck, that’s some twisted shit,” Johnny muttered. “Do you really think both of them could be behind all of it?”

“Why else would a woman like Claire stay loyal to a man like Michael for so many years?” I asked.

“Then again,” Lock sighed, “what if we have this all wrong? What if Shadow didn’t mean Michael?” He looked at all of us for confirmation.

“Has Rae come up with anything else?” I asked.

He shook his head. “Nothing as of yet. We’ve been digging deep, but nothing else pops under Shadow.”

“Or maybe Shadow wasn’t the actual message,” Jack sighed. “We could be chasing our tails here. And if that’s the case?—”

“If that’s the case,” Lock interrupted, “then at least we know we’ve been thorough. But it would help if we could meet Cash and actually talk to him about what’s going on. He won’t meet with any of us, and definitely not on OPS land.”

I tapped my finger on the table as I thought that over. “He won’t meet with any of you.”

“What?”

“He won’t meet with any of you because he doesn’t want to put you in the middle of this shit.”

“If he’s even still on our side,” Lock spat. “We have no fucking clue what he’s thinking. He’s lost his goddamn mind.”

“Or he’s thinking clearer than he ever has in his life,” I surmised. “What’s the one thing you do when you know the people around you are in danger?”

“Close ranks,” Lock said. “Make sure no one gets past your defenses.”

“Except, these assholes are stronger and more powerful than The Syndicate. Cash would know that closing ranks wouldn’t be enough to protect anyone.”

“We’ve already looked into the possibility that he’s out there to protect his family,” Jack pointed out. “But we’ve also got two sniper shots that only a handful of men could make, and Cash is one of them.”

“I think I know how we can make contact.”

Lock stiffened. “Am I going to like this?”

“Not at all. You can’t be involved.”

“I figured you’d say something like that.”

I glanced at Johnny and Jack, then back to Lock. “You’ll need to keep Izzy safe for a few days, just until we can get back.”

“Where are you going?”

“Can’t tell you that,” I said, shoving to my feet. “I’ll need Tahlia to watch Carli.”

“Done,” Johnny said.

“You know, I’m still the boss,” Lock argued.

“It would help if we had Rae,” I said to Jack.

“I’ll talk to her.”

“Rae is still my employee,” Lock pointed out.

I headed for the door. “We’ll leave tonight. If we’re lucky, we’ll be back in three days.”

“Hey!” Lock shouted, finally getting my attention. “Are you going to fill me in, or are you just taking the keys to a minivan and leaving?”

I frowned. “Don’t be silly. The minivan would be a dead giveaway. We’ll get a rental.”

“It was a joke!” Lock shouted as we walked out. “I’m still in charge, you know! You answer to me!”

I waved my hand at him.

“I expect a full report when you get back! With color tabs and a slideshow!”